Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 This is funny, there's women I have met in real life BEFORE seeing them online. There was a couple of women that did this. They would flirt with me at a friends party our group of friends outing. One day I'm browsing the web, and they just put up a personal ad. Finally knowing they are unattached, I email them. And they ignore me...what's up with that? Here they are flirtin like a Dickens (Christmas term,lol) and they ignore me on a dating site....what's up with that? I figured the dating site would be a perfect opportunity to lead into a date with these ladies. Then when I see them again in RL....they pretended nothing happened, but they seem a little less friendly and less flirty with ya. lol
carhill Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 And you're wasting your time with them, why?
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 This is funny, there's women I have met in real life BEFORE seeing them online. There was a couple of women that did this. They would flirt with me at a friends party our group of friends outing. One day I'm browsing the web, and they just put up a personal ad. Finally knowing they are unattached, I email them. And they ignore me...what's up with that? Here they are flirtin like a Dickens (Christmas term,lol) and they ignore me on a dating site....what's up with that? I figured the dating site would be a perfect opportunity to lead into a date with these ladies. Then when I see them again in RL....they pretended nothing happened, but they seem a little less friendly and less flirty with ya. lol I don't know if this is really true or not. It is just a theory. I think some people use it as like a fishing site. Maybe they can get something better than what they already have. Or they use it as excitement. Just to see if people will respond, makes them feel special, wanted, etc. Just a theory though.
Ross PK Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I think you may have freaked them out. Think about it, these women have met you in real life, and they never gave you their email address or even mentioned they were on a dating site, a few days later or weeks, suddenly they've got an email or PM or whatever from the same guy. It'll look like you've tracked them down on the Internet or something.
Author Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 I think you may have freaked them out. Think about it, these women have met you in real life, and they never gave you their email address or even mentioned they were on a dating site, a few days later or weeks, suddenly they've got an email or PM or whatever from the same guy. It'll look like you've tracked them down on the Internet or something. Um...no...they show up in "My matches"..or in my "Search" whenI do a basic search...didn't hunt them down. LOL!
Ross PK Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Um...no...they show up in "My matches"..or in my "Search" whenI do a basic search...didn't hunt them down. LOL! I never said you did. I'm talking about how it's going to look to other people.
Author Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 I never said you did. I'm talking about how it's going to look to other people. Ooooooooh..okay....dang that darned perception thing.
D-Jam Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I think they are probably the insecure types who don't want anyone who knows them personally knowing they are on a dating site. The kinds of people who have a fake story all lined up in case they find someone good. The fake story they'll tell their friends as opposed to "we met online". I agree with the statement of "And you're wasting your time with them, why? :)" I also wonder too if she's the type who flirts with guys, and plays the "I have a boyfriend" excuse to keep them from pursuing, and now wants to see if she can find a BBD now that she's single again. In any case...it's clear she doesn't want you like that. Sorry dude.
Author Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 I think they are probably the insecure types who don't want anyone who knows them personally knowing they are on a dating site. The kinds of people who have a fake story all lined up in case they find someone good. The fake story they'll tell their friends as opposed to "we met online". I agree with the statement of "And you're wasting your time with them, why? :)" I also wonder too if she's the type who flirts with guys, and plays the "I have a boyfriend" excuse to keep them from pursuing, and now wants to see if she can find a BBD now that she's single again. In any case...it's clear she doesn't want you like that. Sorry dude. What's also funny is that I APPEAR in a group photo with her. lol In HER ad!!
Author Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 What's so funny is....the photo is set up that I'm looking her way...and I emailed her saying, "Hey, check out that guy (that guy being me), he's checkin' ya out! LOL!" No response....
edinsvet Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Interesting. are you sure it is the same one? Does she know you are the same guy?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Bells, I'm wondering if you are one of those guys who misinterprets flirting. Many men mistake friendliness for flirting. Also, you act like just because they are single, they should be responding to you. Why should they if they are not interested? Bells, I just feel like you strike out time and time again, and I wonder what kind of vibes you are giving off. Have you ever thought of having a good female friend tell you honestly how she thinks you are presenting yourself? Every time I read one of your threads I can't help but think, creepy guy in the corner. That is how people seem to react to you. Now it is very possible that that is not you at all, but you may be giving off that vibe.
Star Gazer Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Bells, I'm wondering if you are one of those guys who misinterprets flirting. Many men mistake friendliness for flirting. Also, you act like just because they are single, they should be responding to you. Why should they if they are not interested? Bells, I just feel like you strike out time and time again, and I wonder what kind of vibes you are giving off. Have you ever thought of having a good female friend tell you honestly how she thinks you are presenting yourself? Every time I read one of your threads I can't help but think, creepy guy in the corner. That is how people seem to react to you. Now it is very possible that that is not you at all, but you may be giving off that vibe. All great, great points. Bells, I think you grossly, severely misinterpret someone being friendly as flirting and a sign of interest in YOU. If they were interested IN YOU they'd be responding to you positively when you try to interact with them in a dating-flirting context. They're obviously not responding well - at all. They're ignoring you on dating sites, refusing to add you to MS and/or FB an if they do add you they delete you as soon as you start coming on to them. They're not interested, it's obvious to everyone except you... I really, really, really think you ought to take Cherry up on her advice and have a good friend of yours - one you are NOT interested in - give you an honest, albeit-perhaps-hard-to-hear evaluation of how you come across and present yourself, because you just aren't getting it. That, or you just don't seem to care how you're perceived. "That old perception thing" is CRITICAL when it comes to dating. You can't help how you're perceived, but you CAN help how you're presented. My gut instinct each and every time you post here is that you are PRESENTING yourself (as Cherry said) like a creepy guy in the corner. Almost predatory, lurking for any opportunity, any sign that someone would want to date you. It's....weird. And when you figure out your interpretation was wrong, you blame the woman. It's...weird.
Author Bells Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Bells, I think you grossly, severely misinterpret someone being friendly as flirting and a sign of interest in YOU.Does running their fingers through my hair, taking my arm and spending an extra amount of time with their hand around my waist while saying "Heeeeeeey, Beells, how ya doin? I haven't seen you in such a long tiiiime!" "Are you going to be my guardian for the evening, Bells?" Sometimes, I misinterpret physical contact of sorts as flirting....I mean, that's the I put "the bar". Think that's it? Actually, I had a good female friend I have no interest in give me a synopsis about me....she said I am a great guy and have alot to offer a woman! It was even unsolicited. I guess that says something? Iknow, brief...but just to give you an idea. You're very limited as to what you see me by in JUST my posts actually. You'd have to actually spend real life time with me to get a representative idea about my character.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Does running their fingers through my hair, taking my arm and spending an extra amount of time with their hand around my waist while saying "Heeeeeeey, Beells, how ya doin? I haven't seen you in such a long tiiiime!" "Are you going to be my guardian for the evening, Bells?" Sometimes, I misinterpret physical contact of sorts as flirting....I mean, that's the I put "the bar". Think that's it? . It is always possible it is the booze talking in these people. Did they flirt with everyone else?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Actually, I had a good female friend I have no interest in give me a synopsis about me....she said I am a great guy and have alot to offer a woman! That may be true but it is not a critical look at your behavior in social situations. It's just a nice thing to say to someone.
Star Gazer Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Your character is irrelevant. It's how you PRESENT yourself during social situations that's CLEARLY causing a problem. You've started 135 threads since the end of August, each dealing with a different woman who's confused you in some way, and each time it's been "her" fault, or something wrong with "her" way of thinking/behaving. We learn a LOT from your threads in regards to the difficulties you've had. It's time you look in the mirror as to what YOU are saying/doing rather than pointing the finger at the ladies.
zenith Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Does running their fingers through my hair, taking my arm and spending an extra amount of time with their hand around my waist while saying "Heeeeeeey, Beells, how ya doin? I haven't seen you in such a long tiiiime!" Think that's it? Actually, I had a good female friend I have no interest in give me a synopsis about me....she said I am a great guy and have alot to offer a woman! It was even unsolicited. I guess that says something? Iknow, brief...but just to give you an idea. You're very limited as to what you see me by in JUST my posts actually. You'd have to actually spend real life time with me to get a representative idea about my character. I smell BS... sorry, bro oh by the way, I'm a rock star and I sleep with different woman everynight! they tell me I rock their world...
Author Bells Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 That may be true but it is not a critical look at your behavior in social situations. It's just a nice thing to say to someone. Okay, I got a better one for you. There's this very attractive woman, in our group. For some reason she felt VERY comfortable around me, as opposed to the other men "Hovering" around her in a creepy manner. We have these outings at the same place a few times. And she asks me to sit with her, and she tells me that she feels VERY comfortable with me. She doesn't see me as a threat...then she says, "at the last get together, those guys just kept creeping me out, wouldn't "back off" or give her her space. But she admittedly said that I make her feel very comfortable." I was actually suprised by this, since it, too was unsolicited, which I think accounts for something.
Author Bells Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 I smell BS... sorry, bro oh by the way, I'm a rock star and I sleep with different woman everynight! they tell me I rock their world... I'm not sure, you don't think I'm telling the truth? I didn't sleep with her, this was a public place, and she gave me an extended hug, and lingered with her arm around my waist, chatting with me, getting me up to speed with her life.
Author Bells Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Your character is irrelevant. It's how you PRESENT yourself during social situations that's CLEARLY causing a problem. You've started 135 threads since the end of August, each dealing with a different woman who's confused you in some way, and each time it's been "her" fault, or something wrong with "her" way of thinking/behaving. We learn a LOT from your threads in regards to the difficulties you've had. It's time you look in the mirror as to what YOU are saying/doing rather than pointing the finger at the ladies. And I'm sure people have had the same amt of my issues with dating as I have, but I don't keep up to speed on them like you do, I have a life.
Star Gazer Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 And I'm sure people have had the same amt of my issues with dating as I have, but I don't keep up to speed on them like you do, I have a life. You do? Hmm. I'm not going to bite at your attempt to bait me, but I think when it comes to dating trouble, someone who's been shot down by 135 consecutive women has far more problems than someone who has difficulty weening herself off of one while multi-dating others. Your attitude in response to posts here that are trying to help you just proves my point. It's not them, Bells. It's you. It's always you. Merry Christmas!
Author Bells Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 You do? Hmm. I'm not going to bite at your attempt to bait me, but I think when it comes to dating trouble, someone who's been shot down by 135 consecutive women has far more problems than someone who has difficulty weening herself off of one while multi-dating others. Your attitude in response to posts here that are trying to help you just proves my point. It's not them, Bells. It's you. It's always you. Merry Christmas! 135 women is quite inaccurate. Each post was NOT about each different woman. lol Where do you get this number from anyhow?
zenith Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I'm not sure, you don't think I'm telling the truth? I didn't sleep with her, this was a public place, and she gave me an extended hug, and lingered with her arm around my waist, chatting with me, getting me up to speed with her life. not a smart cookie are you? why would you want to prove yourself online? the fact that you keep on giving us examples of various women liking and flirting with you tells me that you are making these stories up, bro
Star Gazer Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 135 women is quite inaccurate. Each post was NOT about each different woman. lol Where do you get this number from anyhow? You've started 135 threads in less than 4 months. I'm fairly certain each thread is about a different woman - a woman who's confused you in some way, either because you tried flirting with her, or because you didn't understand how she was conducting herself in her own relatinship, or the like. You just don't understand social cues. I've asked you before. Do you have AS?
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