djdiablo Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I don't care about Facebook. Until about a month ago when my gf of about 4 months sent me a message asking me cutely (pleeeeeeease) to put a photo of me and her as my profile pic. I gave in and did it. I still have it up. And then I realized that she actually cared about this stuff. My relationship status is non-existent since my last 3 year relationship Today, her status is "It's Complicated" as of a fight we had about 3 days ago and her picture is one of her and I but not necessarily as a couple (could be anything). I confronted her about her status and she says "Do you really care?" and I say "No. But you do. Why did you do it?". "Oh it was just a joke I was bored. You want me to change it back?" "Yes". "OK. I will." That was two days ago. Nothing has changed even though our relationship is NOT complicated and I know she does not really think so for many reasons. So WHY IS SHE NOT DOING WHAT SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO? Context: there is a guy whom she had a fling with in the summer that she hangs out with still who seems to msg her only when something on her FB changes to indicate she is on bad terms with me. He msged her to go skiing soon almost as soon as she changed her status. I told her I am uncomfortable with him repeatedly for the last two months and asked her not to see him before I actually meet him face-to-face which she said to be soon but which has not happened... I am confused and was thinking to do one of the following: A) Ignore it and wait acting like it does not annoy me. B) Change my status to It's Complicated but this is a bit childish. C) Send her a message along the lines of "Good morning. Why did you not do what you said you would do" with a copy of her message long ago.
Author djdiablo Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 Addendum: - We made up after the fight. - The guy messaged her last night to hang out with him and she ASKED me if she could even though she knew the answer. Later she apologized for asking... - The relationship status I am talking about in my first paragraph is the FB one. I just don't feel the need to make it public.
Wicked Smile Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Addendum: - We made up after the fight. - The guy messaged her last night to hang out with him and she ASKED me if she could even though she knew the answer. Later she apologized for asking... - The relationship status I am talking about in my first paragraph is the FB one. I just don't feel the need to make it public. You are dating a little girl. Little girls run around with myspace and FB and use them as quick jabs and hookups tools. I'd hate to see you get run over by her antics, so I'd suggest you ask her to grow up. Have her dump this guy off her friend's list which would break the updates to him. Have her change her FB status back and make sure she actaully does it this time. Then let her know the next time she thinks it's funny to play games on FB and making herself look "open" to other men that she better have a bus ticket home ready in hand.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 FB and Myspace statuses are ridiculous. Why are you allowing a social network ruin a relationship? Next time pick up the phone or talk to her face to face about your problems.
Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 This is what I've noticed with FB....apparently, other "onlookers" have their feelings hurt if they haven't been invited to a party. One time I was taken OFF someone's Friends list...because she made a OPEN comment to everyone where she about what she was going to doing on a Fri night...and I commented underneath. "Cool, what will you be doing?" She said, "Stuff" A snotty answer...then she deleted me. I think she realized that she don't want OTHER people knowing where she's going to be ona Fri night Because some people will make an announcement BAITING people to respond to it....and when someone they have on interest in responds to them....they regret it. Or reneg on the "Friends list" and take the guy/gal off Then feelings get hurt. Alot of peopple make other people know their where abouts, then some perosn shows up they don't care for, and call them stalkers or something. lol
Frankasy Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 FB and Myspace statuses are ridiculous. Why are you allowing a social network ruin a relationship? Next time pick up the phone or talk to her face to face about your problems. True. In fact I would say that those type of websites are sometimes dangerous for couples.
Adri Ana Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I don't care about Facebook. Until about a month ago when my gf of about 4 months sent me a message asking me cutely (pleeeeeeease) to put a photo of me and her as my profile pic. I gave in and did it. I still have it up. And then I realized that she actually cared about this stuff. My relationship status is non-existent since my last 3 year relationship Today, her status is "It's Complicated" as of a fight we had about 3 days ago and her picture is one of her and I but not necessarily as a couple (could be anything). I confronted her about her status and she says "Do you really care?" and I say "No. But you do. Why did you do it?". "Oh it was just a joke I was bored. You want me to change it back?" "Yes". "OK. I will." That was two days ago. Nothing has changed even though our relationship is NOT complicated and I know she does not really think so for many reasons. So WHY IS SHE NOT DOING WHAT SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO? Context: there is a guy whom she had a fling with in the summer that she hangs out with still who seems to msg her only when something on her FB changes to indicate she is on bad terms with me. He msged her to go skiing soon almost as soon as she changed her status. I told her I am uncomfortable with him repeatedly for the last two months and asked her not to see him before I actually meet him face-to-face which she said to be soon but which has not happened... I am confused and was thinking to do one of the following: A) Ignore it and wait acting like it does not annoy me. B) Change my status to It's Complicated but this is a bit childish. C) Send her a message along the lines of "Good morning. Why did you not do what you said you would do" with a copy of her message long ago. I would suggest you to do © . Putting a picture with you as your avatar means actually that you are a Couple, so ... all her friends also know that you are a Couple , and her relationship status changes are too childish once she herself asked you to put your Couple pic as a display . Confront her and tell her to stop acting like that , and to have guts to be growner up . _____________________________________________________ Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.
Bells Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Apparently, FB is a "passive aggressive" way to piss people off, even the people they're dating And when accused of something, we're looked upon as the psyhco for caring.
D-Jam Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I personally think if any of you meet someone who takes Myspace or Facebook very seriously...then it shows you just how much you shouldn't know these people personally. Honestly...if one is going to get that deep and serious about crap on a social networking site, then it speaks volumes about their own sanity.
Adri Ana Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Apparently, FB is a "passive aggressive" way to piss people off, even the people they're dating And when accused of something, we're looked upon as the psyhco for caring. >>>...>>> ______________________________________________ Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything. ....................Thomas Merton
kashmir Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Online networking sites need to be made illegal. Seriously.
moonshadow Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 DJDiablo, I'm not sure how old you and your GF are, but she sounds highly immature and antagonistic. I read your post re: the "pig" comment and how she went overboard about it, now this. Can you really and truly RESPECT someone who's so childish? Do you think she really respects YOU if she changes her FB status to "it's complicated"? Is she trying to upset you? Make you insecure? Make you jealous? Make other guys think she might "almost be single"? This is junior-high behavior. Why are you putting up with someone who's so childish and such a brain-****er? The more you put up with this total nonsense, the more she'll behave this way. You do know that, right? And by the way, you shouldn't have to "ask" your partner to revise their relationship status -- they should do it out of respect for you and your relationship...without having to be asked or badgered about it. The fact that she won't change it, doesn't that speak volumes? Why are you settling for less with this ding-bat?
Meaplus3 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I personally think if any of you meet someone who takes Myspace or Facebook very seriously...then it shows you just how much you shouldn't know these people personally. Honestly...if one is going to get that deep and serious about crap on a social networking site, then it speaks volumes about their own sanity.[/quote] Exactly..Very well said D-jam.!! Mea:)
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Addendum: - The guy messaged her last night to hang out with him and she ASKED me if she could even though she knew the answer. Later she apologized for asking... Why would she even ask? My immediate reaction to some woman asking me to hang out would be on the lines of "thanks for the offer, but I wouldn't expect my girlfriend to be comfortable with that" It wouldn't even cross my mind to think, "ya I'd love to hang out with this chick, lemme see if my girlfriend will put up with it" She asked because she wanted to hang out with this guy. Knowing that, are you ok with her apology? She can apologize, but it doesn't change the fact that she wanted to be with this guy.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 You are dating a little girl. Little girls run around with myspace and FB and use them as quick jabs and hookups tools. I agree. One of the first things I asked my SO when we first started dating is if she had a myspace of facebook and she said NO!!! with enthusiasm and explained that she hates those for the very reasons you just laid out. Then she asked me and she was happy to find out that I don't either. So I thought to myself, "so far so good" with this one.
kashmir Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I agree. One of the first things I asked my SO when we first started dating is if she had a myspace of facebook and she said NO!!! with enthusiasm and explained that she hates those for the very reasons you just laid out. Then she asked me and she was happy to find out that I don't either. So I thought to myself, "so far so good" with this one. Holy crap, some girls actually don't do that myspace or facebook crap? They're a true rarity, and if I ever found one without a facebook I think I would be in love.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Holy crap, some girls actually don't do that myspace or facebook crap? They're a true rarity, and if I ever found one without a facebook I think I would be in love. She hates them. She realizes that there is too much secrecy and hook ups going on behind closed facebooks. I was pleased to hear she and I were on the same page with regards to this silly trend.
dogtown Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 She hates them. She realizes that there is too much secrecy and hook ups going on behind closed facebooks. I was pleased to hear she and I were on the same page with regards to this silly trend. Ditto. Not to mention the completely voyeuristic mentality that FB and MS creates in everyone. We're becoming a peeping tom society...it's creepy, really. And your gf wanting to hang out with other guys? Sorry, it doesn't work though. At least one party always has feelings for the other. Sounds like this might be the case for your gf - or even worse, they both have feelings towards one another. I would get her on the same page quickly.
WhenWillSheLearn Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I have Facebook and I am 34 years old. It's fun to be on during the work day and is actually a nice way to find old friends. I've never cared about the relationship status thing, except for married people. It's perfectly fine for them....however... You say that you don't care to make your relationship "public". Yet, you care that she won't? That's sorta not fair, bud. I know it sounds dumb and "juvenile", and I don't know how old you are...but there is somethins sort of sweet to be claimed. It's hard to explain. I'm not saying I don't get your side of things, cuz I do. I don't have my relationship status up. But, to some people, they want someone to say, "Yes, I'm proud to say this is my gf/bf." Facebook is a double edged sword sometimes. I appreciate the privacy settings and don't ever befriend co-workers. But, I think it's a nice way to keep in touch, etc.
Bells Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Yeah, even future employers are Voyeuristic then...they go straight to FB or MS to check out if some people aren't doing anything STUPID in their photos which may or may not determine if they are hire-able.
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