sweetgirl99 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Hello All, This is my first post here at Loveshack.org Hopefully I'll make my story short and sweet! A little over a year ago, I met someone online. This is something I NEVER would have thought to happen to me. I'm probably one of the most paranoid people in terms of trusting someone I have never actually "met in person". Well, when I met this guy, he was separated from his wife, and is now going through the divorcing process. I think what scares me is the fact that I dont want to be a person's rebound by any means. We've been talking for a very long time, but still are free to see other people etc. We are by no means in a committed relationship at this point, but I would like to see things move that way. I think what I am struggling with is the fact that I know very little about internet dating, and on top of that, dating someone who is divorcing. Lately, it seems as if things are progressing. We have seen pictures of eachother over all of this time and I have actually seen him on web cam many, many times throughout the year. I recently purchased one so that things would be fair. He told me that he thinks it is the next step for us. We both want to meet and feel that we will, its just a matter of taking things slowly and one step at a time right now. I think what I am struggling with is that I dont know how much I should be expecting from him at this point. I dont want to pressure someone who isnt ready for a relationship, and at the same time, I dont want to wait around for someone to be ready for a relationship and decide not to choose me anyway. Our conversations are great, we enjoy the same hobbies and when we were talking on cam and the phone things seemed so natural. (we've been talking on the phone for over a year as well if anyone is wondering...just added the cam factor on my end about a week ago) Have any of you experienced an online relationship? I would love to have any advice out there. Thanks so much for reading my post
Nemo Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 We both want to meet and ASAP. That means "as soon as possible." Practical, even.
xoAdrianaox Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 meet him, why not? i personally think you should choose a safe, public place at first. you never know, he could turn out to be someone he's not. if i were you, i would agree to meet with a bunch of friends so you're not alone together for the first time...makes it less awkward perhaps?
Author sweetgirl99 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 I forgot to mention.....we live in separate states
Nemo Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 How many borders are we talking about crossing?
moonshadow Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I gotta say, I think it's crazy to invest a year of your life having an "online relationship of sorts" with someone. It's like living in a fantasyland in a sense. Even people who want nothing more than a platonic friendship would meet in person much, much sooner. The fact that you're both content to spend month after month communicating by a computer and a webcam, I think it indicates you've both got some issues with real life human interaction/relationships. How could you spend that long developing a friendship and not want to meet? And how do you know he's really going through a divorce? That could all be a line of BS. Have you ever even talked on the phone? Do you live local to one another? Did you meet on a dating site?
Author sweetgirl99 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 We have talked on the phone since the beginning. We have talked about meeting several times, and my reasons for holding back were because I didnt find it appropriate until he was actually divorcing her. Although he was separated, I felt that it wasnt right and I wanted to wait. I know that he's not lying about this for several reasons. I've done background searches etc and even the reverse phone number stuff with both his number and his parents' number he's given to me. All of it adds up, and he was being honest about names, work, etc. I wanted to be extra careful....With that aspect aside, I feel that my second guessing comes from not knowing how much to expect from a person who is coming out of a divorce. I by no means put my life on hold for him over this past year. I actually came out of something when he and I started talking, and have dated. I would never put my life on hold, that would be silly. Im afraid to push him back and freak him out if I sound like I want too much too soon....As far as distance, we live on opposite coasts. Im west coast, he's east coast. I realize that its far...but thats not my fear right now.
Author sweetgirl99 Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Thank you for the feedback Are there any male perspectives on this one??
Recommended Posts