jessy1 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Isnt there supposed to be a rule that you dont date your friends ex? My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and ive just found out hes dating our good friend In all fairness she was his friend first but when me and her met we became instant friends. I went out with her all the time and we became really close. We hung around as a three all the time. She had her own bf so there was no worries there and we were such good friends I really had no worries! We went to trips to the casino, town etc together and became great friends. This lasted the entire time my ex and I were together. Then I hear she broke up with her bf. I contacted her straight away making sure she was ok. I was out the country at the time but rung her straight away. Then my ex became distant and cold. He started to become really nasty and would yell at me over many simple things. He had me crying all the time for almost a month for no reason. He stopped caring about me entirely and just became so mean I had NO idea what was going on, I turned to our friend for help but she ignored me. I thought that was weird so I left a message asking if she wanted to come to town with me in the weekend and she ignored me again. A week later my ex dumped me. I never heard from him or her again. A week on again I find out they are together It has hurt me so bad. I feel it must have been going on behind my back as thats why they were both ignoring me and being cruel. I would often see messages between them saying how much they loved each other etc but he assured me she was just like a sister. I didnt expect to hear from my ex again after dumping me but I never heard from her either and she was my good friend. Now she is dating my ex and I had to find out through someone else. They didnt even have the decency to be honest with me. It sucks so much. I lost my bf whom I really loved and also a really good friend. Neither of them talk to me anymore and apparently they are really happy together, and its just seems so unfair as I did nothing wrong and im so unhappy. Do I have a right to be unhappy about this? I have done NC the whole time and dont intend to break it but im just really misrable. How do I get them out of my head? Will it ever stop hurting? Thanks
FeedingOnFever Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I am so sorry to hear this. There is no excuse for what either of them did to you. What awful friends (both of them.) They needed to man up and tell you to your face what was going on. It would have hurt, yes, but I bet it would have hurt a lot less, because that would have been respect. I have to say I have zero respect for people like that. There are some really great posts on this site that I think would help a ton for you to read. A bunch of stuff by dns has helped me a lot. I'd say write both of them off. They do not deserve your friendship or forgiveness.
Author jessy1 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 Thanks for you reply I just cant believe it really. I thought if this was going to happen they would at the very least tell me instead of me hearing through someone else. Neither of them talk to me and its like ive done something wrong. I feel like my ex lied everytime he told me she was nothing to him and they would only be friends and he had ever liked her before etc etc. And she was my good friend. It really sucks. If they are better suited then I guess thats more than I can say although it hurst like hell, but did they really need to treat me like this? What sucks heaps is everyone loves them and they are mostly nice to evryone except me And I didnt do anything I lost my boyfriend and a good friend and it just REALLY hurts :( How do I get them out of my head, its driving me mad!!! Has this happened to anyone else? And do I have a right to be upset/mad or am I over reacting?
xoAdrianaox Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 This happened to my best friend. Exact same thing, except her and the guy were ENGAGED...and her best friend was like her sister (they had known each other since childhood). They kept this from her for a year, and she pretty much went crazy when she found out the truth. It hurts, I know. Probably the worst pain in the world. The only thing that heals is TIME...and luck! lol Try to focus on yourself, use this as a motivational tool to help you get forward with other things you want to do in life..."PROVE URSELF" (so to say) to them. Think: "Oh yeah? You guys are gonna do that behind my back? Well just wait and see how successful I become and how you'll both be begging to have ME back in your life." LESSON OF THE STORY: KEEP UR BFS/FRIENDS SEPERATE!
Knight_Ctrl Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I'm having the exact same problem as you. Only I was friends with my friend before he stole my girlfriend. I feel for ya, go NC with both of them he doesn't love you and your friend is a backstabber not your friend.
zilverenvlinder Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Oh my god, I am so sorry. They both will get what's coming to them. Just be patient. Karma works in mysterious and beautiful ways. Jackasses.
dead-dyke Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Oh my god, I am so sorry. They both will get what's coming to them. Just be patient. Karma works in mysterious and beautiful ways. Jackasses. Oh my, I hope you're right. Same thing happened w/ my wife and ex-friend from when we were kids. I knew there was a reason I didn't want him in my wedding party. If I could see the future, the wife wouldn't have been in the wedding either.
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