alwayssme Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Okay, I really need some answers with this one because it has got me very confused. While it is true that most of us get the "cold" treatment after crying and begging...apparantly to my shock and surprise for some others it works. Ready to hear this one? One of my friends has been going out with her boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now. They fight and have cheated on each other and ultimately hurt each other alot. They have good times but they have more bad than good times together. They say they love each other, then say have fallen out of love with each other but could never seem to let one another go. Up untill a week ago, he broke up with her and told her he was done for good and for her to leave him alone because he didn't want to be with her anymore. Now my friend is the typw who won't stop at nothing untill she gets what she wants. She would call him crying and begging and just really would not stop. Honestly hearing her cry really breaks my heart, especially the way she cries and everything. After him ignoring her, she still doesn't stop...and then they talk and he decides to get back with her...Now listen to this. This is where it gets good. He says "she touched his heart and that he can see how much she really loves him because she showed it. She wouldn't let him go and he saw how hurt she was and she is a good girl who really cares for him." He says her tears and the fact that she begged him showed him that she fought for him and he liked that...he also says he was going to just let it be if she didn't persist...Now I don't know maybe he truly is in love with her and maybe this case is different.........but i was just shocked to hear his response.....because ummm from what i recall, my tears and the pain i felt never touched nobody...instead i had to get strong and deal with this pain because nobody gave two shi*s.... What do you guys think about this??? Also is it a good thing for them to keep going like this? They argue and hurt each other everyday? What do you suggest for them to be happy? It has literally been 2 years of them going through so much pain because they both do things that hurt each other...If they're going to stay together, how can they work on their problems???
norajane Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 They have a dysfunctional relationship, so it's not too surprising that they would get back together after she cries and begs. As he said, he likes that. It's not that her tears "touched" his heart in a good way. The tears and begging made him feel good about HIMSELF...it stroked his ego that she would carry on like that over HIM. No, this doesn't sound healthy. They need to get some couples counseling to figure out how to better be a couple rather than hurting each other all the time.
Author alwayssme Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 he didnt sound like he liked it because of his ego.. he really seemed hurt to see her cry like that...he liked the fact that she cares that much...because im guessing he cares for her too alot?? anyway....i wish my ex would have had my tears "touch him"..
FeedingOnFever Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Wow. That does seem weird. I don't know... drama like that seems a little unhealthy for a relationship. I once asked my ex if he and I broke up if he would fight to have us get back together and continue the relationship. He and I both said that yes, we would fight to stay together and would really give it our all. That turned out to not be true. This situation seems different than ours now. I hope that your two friends can work out the problems in their relationship. Even if they really care for one another, it sounds like there is still a ton of work to do. I personally don't think many guys react the way her guy did. I think tears and begging smother and panic most guys. They feel that they are being pressured, tied down, and trapped even more, which is probably part of the reason they left the relationship in the first place. I, too, wish that honestly showing my ex how much I wanted for us to work out would change his mind, too. If only people could read eachother's minds and hearts, right?
norajane Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 he didnt sound like he liked it because of his ego.. he really seemed hurt to see her cry like that...he liked the fact that she cares that much...because im guessing he cares for her too alot?? Then why does he hurt her every day? Does he need to see her hurt so that he knows she cares?
Jay34 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 it is a dysfunctional relationship, immature love, they need to hurt each other to see how much they love each other, he likes to see her cry because it makes him feel important, its kind of sadistic. i know all about this as i was just in one.
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