Is it possible to respect somebody but not like them?

[shadowplay]

Conversely, it's it possible to like somebody but not respect them?

 

Would you rather be friends with somebody you respected but didn't like or somebody you liked but didn't respect?

 

Whom would you rather be in a relationship with?

[Geishawhelk]

Sorry, I'm confused.

Do you mean close intimate relationship, or general...?

because your post started as if it was completely general (I don't like Simon Cowell at all, but I respect him) and I couldn't not respect someone but like them all the same....I think if you like someone, there's an element of respect there too....at least, that's what I find.....

 

and then you suddenly bring up the "R" word?

 

Do you mean in a close intimate and loving relationship?

because that's different.

I Love, Like AND respect my partner.

I don't always "like" him, but I always love him, and I always respect him.

[shadowplay]

Sorry, I'm confused.

Do you mean close intimate relationship, or general...?

because your post started as if it was completely general (I don't like Simon Cowell at all, but I respect him) and I couldn't not respect someone but like them all the same....I think if you like someone, there's an element of respect there too....at least, that's what I find.....

 

and then you suddenly bring up the "R" word?

 

Do you mean in a close intimate and loving relationship?

because that's different.

I Love, Like AND respect my partner.

I don't always "like" him, but I always love him, and I always respect him.

 

I intentionally kept my questions somewhat vague. You can interpret them however you want.

[Geishawhelk]

Well thanks!

So - I did!

[The Collector]

Perhaps there is a difference between what you logically process as respect-worthy and what some baser instinct might genuflect to.

 

A missing factor in your dichotomy is 'interest.' You may have untold respect for something or someone without being interested in them. Likewise the morally-bankrupt or just plain crazy can be fascinating.

[Trialbyfire]

It's very possible to respect someone but not like them. Case in point, professional situations where you have no choice in who you work with or for. I greatly respect a lot of business people I've worked with in the past but have difficulty liking them due to their predatory employment practices and morally-challenged prioritizations and values.

 

For me, no, I can't like someone without having respect for them.

 

I wouldn't be friends in either scenario. You're not forced to be friends with anyone.

 

I wouldn't have a relationship in either scenario. You're not forced into a relationship with anyone.

[allina]

I think it's possible. There are people I respect but don't like and people I like but don't really respect. For me there is a distinction.

 

For example, there are people I like because they're kind and pleasant. However they're not bright or driven and make very off putting decisions. It's hard for me to respect them, though I genuinely like them as a person.

 

On the other hand there are people I respect, even admire, but it doesn't necessarily mean I like them.

 

I do think that in a romantic relationship or a close friendship you have to like and respect the person, just on or the other isn't nearly enough.

[norajane]

It's very possible to respect someone but not like them. Case in point, professional situations where you have no choice in who you work with or for. I greatly respect a lot of business people I've worked with in the past but have difficulty liking them due to their predatory employment practices and morally-challenged prioritizations and values.

 

For me, no, I can't like someone without having respect for them.

 

I wouldn't be friends in either scenario. You're not forced to be friends with anyone.

 

I wouldn't have a relationship in either scenario. You're not forced into a relationship with anyone.

 

Agree. Although I have been casual friends with people I don't respect in some aspect of their lives/behavior, but not close friends.

[Yamaha]

Generally if you don't respect someone you will use them and how can you like someone and use them?

[Meaplus3]

Conversely, it's it possible to like somebody but not respect them?

 

Normally when I don't like someone it's because I don't respect them. It can be as simple as the way they treat others or more complex like a value system that really iritates me. So in my view the answer is no.

 

Mea:)

[shadowplay]

Here's my personal take.

 

You can't entirely respect somebody and not like them. It's possible, though, to respect somebody in some ways and not in others. The only exception I can think of is somebody who is respectable in how they lead their lives but boring as a conversationalist or has some sort of sour personality trait.

 

I see a lot of people who are friends with people they respect but don't like. These are usually hangers-on looking to move up the social ladder. The classic example is the popular clique in high school made up of "frenemies" who fear the ring leader's power. In this case power ----> fear -----> respect.

 

I think in general people, especially young people, unconsciously gravitate toward those they respect, not necessarily like. That is why people who are confident but morally bankrupt can have a lot of friends.

 

This may be also true to a lesser extent with romantic attraction, and why so many relationships fail when the glitter fades and basic incompatibilities emerge.

 

I know some will disagree with me, but that's my view.

[Meet 4 Coffee]

I like a person I work with but I don't respect her. For example, a group of us went out for drinks after work, and she got really wasted and started telling the same dirty joke reference all night.

We are all teachers, and she is just a secretary.

I like her as a person but I lost a lot of respect for her.

It is fine to go out and have fun but you can have fun without getting down and dirty and gross.

Also she has kids out of wedlock and I didn't know that before.

So it kind of figures that she is the one without the education and the background.

She does have a community college degree but...she just has no class and I found that out, but she really doesn't have a lot of control over that.

She thought she was the cool, fun person going out with teachers but she just made an a** out of herself.

However, she is still nice and I like her. I just don't respect her (anymore.)

[Storyrider]

I find I can generally divide people into two groups--

(a) those I respect and admire

(b) those who are fun to be around

[Star Gazer]

It's very possible to respect someone but not like them. Case in point, professional situations where you have no choice in who you work with or for. I greatly respect a lot of business people I've worked with in the past but have difficulty liking them due to their predatory employment practices and morally-challenged prioritizations and values.

 

Great example, that's exactly what I was thinking. However, I cannot respect someone who has predatory employment practices or morally-challenged values. When I say I respect a colleague/boss but don't like them, I respect them on every level, I just usually find them... annoying, or having some other personality quirk that doesn't cause me to lose respect for them.

 

For me, no, I can't like someone without having respect for them.

 

Same here. The foundation of ANY relationship, as far as I'm concerned, is respect.

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...find out what it means to me! Sock it to me! LOL

[Geishawhelk]

You're quite right Star:

There are in fact three foundational qualities any Relationship (romantic and loving, we're talking here) HAS to have:

 

Respect

Communication.

Trust.

 

Take one of these three away, and no matter how strong the other two, they can't hold things up and together.

 

Effort and Commitment can only come from the person themselves. the above three must be shared.

[Tomcat33]

I like a person I work with but I don't respect her. For example, a group of us went out for drinks after work, and she got really wasted and started telling the same dirty joke reference all night.

We are all teachers, and she is just a secretary.

I like her as a person but I lost a lot of respect for her.

It is fine to go out and have fun but you can have fun without getting down and dirty and gross.

Also she has kids out of wedlock and I didn't know that before.

So it kind of figures that she is the one without the education and the background.

She does have a community college degree but...she just has no class and I found that out, but she really doesn't have a lot of control over that.

She thought she was the cool, fun person going out with teachers but she just made an a** out of herself.

However, she is still nice and I like her. I just don't respect her (anymore.)

 

You sound jealous of her.

I didn't realize secretaries were JUST secretaries. (that comment alone shows you never really respected her to begin with) I also didn't realize going out with teachers was so special.

 

 

I don't think you can like someone you don't respect, no matter how you slice it the moment you start losing respect for someone you also stop fully liking them.

 

Hence example above. The above example is saying "I do like her" but then spends the entire post putting the person down.

That's not respect and that is also dislike.

So there's my example of why the two go hand in hand.

[Meet 4 Coffee]

No, not jealous of all.I do like her...but absolutely no reason to be jealous.

I make a lot more money, have a better personality (I don't have to state the same joke about vaginas all night to get attention), am educated, am respected, have lots of friends and get to travel, and am about 500 times better looking than she is. I do like her though! She can't help the environment in which she grew up!

But I do respect that we do need secretaries!!!

 

You sound jealous of her.

I didn't realize secretaries were JUST secretaries. (that comment alone shows you never really respected her to begin with) I also didn't realize going out with teachers was so special.

 

 

I don't think you can like someone you don't respect, no matter how you slice it the moment you start losing respect for someone you also stop fully liking them.

 

Hence example above. The above example is saying "I do like her" but then spends the entire post putting the person down.

That's not respect and that is also dislike.

So there's my example of why the two go hand in hand.

[Star Gazer]

I am better looking, make a lot more money, have a better personality (I don't have to state the same joke about vaginas all night to get attention), am educated, am respected, have lots of friends and get to travel, and am about 500 times better looking than she is.

 

None of these things have anything to do with the fact she is a "just a secretary."

[johan]

My neighbors are teachers. They are nice people and I like to chat with them when I see them out. But I've spent time with them in social situations with their colleagues, and I was surprised at how judgmental they all were. Just about people who weren't in the room. I don't respect that.

 

I respect what teachers do. As people, though, they are mostly average.

 

I don't think there is close correlation between how much respect you have for people and how much you like them. Some people you can respect for their judgment and their achievements, but they aren't really that likable. You listen when they talk, but they aren't the ones you invite to do things.

 

There are some people who are great to be around, but their judgment isn't very good and they may not have done much with their lives. It's hard to respect that. Those are the friends you get frustrated with.

[Eve]

'Is it possible to respect someone but not like them?'Quite a hard question really. I value people but do not necessarily 'respect' many. Although.. I tend to know who my 'teachers' are and I am aware that they can come in differing forms therefore I try to keep my mind open to others who I do not like. So in general life I do not have to like someone in order to respect them because they could teach me something. The friendship and relationship mark comes with a different gradient altogether though for me. I have to like someone in order to remain in close proximity to them. They would have had to earn my respect in some way to cross the friendship barrier, never mind the relationship barrier thing.Regards,Eve xx

[Tony]

This thread has gotten way too immature and argumentative. Rather than just deleting the objectionable posts, I'm going to close the thread and leave the posts for all to judge. I hope we can all rise to a level above some of the stuff written above.