cheung888 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I’m 23 and my ex gf is 24, she dumped me two months ago and I’m still feeling the same pain, emptiness and agony even now, the anger and shock has however I’m happy to say has subsided. Some details, I got with her in November 2007, she has just come out of a 3 year relationship with her ex who sounded like an idiot and treated her badly hence her running away from him and moving to my city for a new job. We work together and after a month of her there we flirted and I took her out and got with her shortly after that, we were official at the start of this year in January. We were a whirlwind romance and I really do truly love her and thought she was the one. Things were great and we even went on holiday in June. Things started to turn sour late August to October when she broke up with me. When we were ok she used to talk about use having kids and getting our own place. I loved her more and more and was really keen on the thought of settling down with her, shes everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl, beautiful, caring and just a great person in general. However late August is when she started becoming distant and wanted her space, she said she had spent lots of time with me and wanted time to spend with her friends and to meet new friends. I was ok with this but over a few months I would tell her how I felt as she didn’t make any effort to get I touch or arrange to do anything. When we first got together I done so much for her, helped her settle in my city, took her out and generally care for her and love her. I don’t know if this was new to her as she wasn’t treated well in the past but she appeared to love this. She said I ticked all the right boxes and am marriage material, she said I was better than her ex in everyway. I don’t understand why she turned so distant, had she got comfortable with the city and found new mates so had no use for me and has no use for me anymore? During our relationship her ex was I constant contact as they had financial ties and he always wanted her back. This was a strain on our relationship from the start but I coped with it as she was with me not him. However a month she broke up with me I found out she was upset because her ex was having a baby with someone else this month. It made me feel worthless that I didn’t mean anything to her because she was still so hung up about him. She will not let me care for her anymore. The reason we broke up she told me that it was because she didn’t want to hurt me anymore, didn’t feel like a relationship is what she needed at the moment and that she needed to sort herself out. I have tried to make her change her mind that we could make it work if we tried but then she said that she doesn’t feel the same way about me as she used to, can this be true, can she really just lose feelings for me so easily? She replies to me trying to get back with her that nothing has changed for her? Why doesn’t she say that her feelings haven’t changed, its always nothing has changed. She said it wouldn’t be fair to me or her and that it wouldn’t work, why wouldn’t it if we were willing to give it a go, she just says no and I’d have to accept that. We have been for two meals since the last one being last week and we talked it out, but I still haven’t lost hope despite what she has said. I really really love her and want to be with her but I can’t do anything by myself, is there any chance she will change her mind and is there anything I can do in the meantime? I’m so empty and lost.
Geishawhelk Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I'm afraid you need to do the painful but only thing you can. Go complete, total, entire thorough NO CONTACT. Move on. She has. Once a heart is gone, it never ever really comes back. Even if they think they do. So you need to face it, and end the Hope.
Author cheung888 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 I work with her and see her everyday, she is still in ignoring me or only replying with one word answers mode, why is she being like this, when I told her I would leave she begged me not to. Why is she messing with my head.
Geishawhelk Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Because she can. You have to not let her.
Author cheung888 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 In this case NC is very hard as I still have to speak to her in a professional capacity, what can I do alternatively? Would getting her jealous by talking and flirting to other girls in the office work?
againstallodds Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I am sorry to say that you were her rebound. I don't think she was in love with you. You help her and do everything for her and after she got her confident back she leave. This is a classic case. You should go NC and if she realize that you are special to her and want you back she'll contact you.
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