chasingrainbows25 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 My latest dating episode has left me confused. I started speaking to a guy on POF online dating and we seemed to click. Moved last week to chatting on MSN and spent quite a lot of time chatting there and he commented often how well we got on and how easy it was to chat, which it was.......similar interests etc. So since he's local we decided to meet last night for some dinner. The evening was great. He's a gentleman, we chatted for hours and were last to leave the restaurant. I recognised his mirroring behaviour, leaning in close etc and we laughed most of the night. As he walked me to my car, he had the option of walking to his, saying goodnight and going home but instead he went all the way to my car at the back of the car park, we chatted a little bit more and then he leaned forward and kissed me, held my hand and gave me a few more little kisses, told me how much he loved my giggle and then we said our goodnights. As I got home he txt me to ask if I got home safe, I txt back to say that again I'd had a lovely evening and thanked him. Today.............no contact. Tonight he's not on MSN. No contact, nothing. I sent a txt about an hr ago saying I hoped he'd had a good day at work and no reply. I'm confused, what possibly could have gone wrong ???? Its just so strange after days of being in contact and now nothing. Perhaps I'm not cut out for this dating game. CR
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Gees slow down woman!! You just said you had a good time he texted you last night to see if you got home ok and everything was fine and you are in a panic because he hasn't made contact today? Sorry but you are acting EXTREMELY needy. SLOW DOWN! Call a friend, do your work, and have a night to yourself. Basically LIVE YOUR LIFE don't wait around like a lost puppy for him to make the next move. Give a guy a chance to digest meeting you and the date, men don't operate like women they don't spend all day long thinking about a woman they just met they compartmentalize and get back to doing their daily stuff that doens't mean he is not interseted in you in anymmore it just means he is living his life, as should you as a matter of fact. Your date was great everything is great so stop worrying give him some days to settle in to his week and he will get in touch when he feels like contacting you. You just met him he owes you nothing he is not your boyfriend.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks Tomcat, I do appreciate what you are saying, however my main concern is that over the past few nights he's made such an effort to contact me/chat etc, and I guess tonight I just miss that. I do have a very full life and he knows that and am extremely busy over the next week (whereas he's not) but I just found it odd that the previous days have been filled with little calls/txt messages etc and today nothing............ I am not a needy person, believe me, I just found this odd !
JoeNat Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Well being a guy I can tell you that if I'm really feeling her I will think about her all the time. If she is just a nice girl that I'm attracted too but not really connecting with then I will be a little standoffish. Dont know if that helps or not.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 It's not odd at all, that is what the dating/mating game is like. You show you are interested in a person in spurts you don't blow your load in one go. The guy doesn't want to come off needy or desperate and quite frankly he is probably just busy today back to his normal day to day stuff. It changed because now you went from an online fantasy acquainance to the real deal. He wants to play it cool, he doesn't want to chase you away he obviously had a good time with you and is clearly interested so have some faith. Look I don't know how much experience you have with dating men but men are very different than we are, they tend to get close to a woman and then need some time to recalibrate and readjust, the closer they get the more they need to pull away to "adjust". This is more significant in the earlier stages of dating so don't panic he is just being a guy. Let him be, he will come back to you when he is ready for some more Chasingrainbow PS BE COOL. Don't get all weird with him and ask him "what happened to you where were you last night" etc. if you get all in his grill about where he was and why he didn't contact you for "one" day he will think you are too needy. Always be cool.
tincanman99 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I am a guy and I can tell you that you did a lot pretty quick. Got very friendly very quick. Its borderline to much too soon as they say. Give it some room to breathe. Just because he has contacted you today does not mean he is not interested. He may just be busy with work today. It sounds like you had a great date so dont freak out. Now if he doesnt call in a week thats a whole other animal entirely. Dont worry about that just yet.
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 WOAH, cool down, woman! You just had your date LAST NIGHT. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet!!! His life doesn't revolve around you (yet ), so give him time and space to breathe!!! DO NOT contact him again.
Perry Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Ditto. But...why can't YOU call him? Give him a call tonight, "just to chat, and maybe do something tomorrow, or maybe later on in the week." If you get his voice mail, leave a message something along those lines. Don't make this complicated.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 well i dont plan on making it complicated but I just wasnt prepared for all communication to cease. If he's not into me i'd rather know sooner or later. I guess I'm just bad at reading the signs. My bad !
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 How has all communication ceased? It's been less than 24 hours after your first meeting!!! You are expecting WAY too much WAY too soon.
moonshadow Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Maybe he's just really busy? It is only a few days until Xmas. Depending what kind of work he does, maybe he's been in meetings today, or was in a meeting at the time you'd texted him and he simply couldn't respond. I'd try to relax and not over-analyze (which is sometimes difficult, I know, particularly when communication trends seem to 'change'). Don't go sending him numerous texts or emails, let him respond to the one you sent today - otherwise if you go overboard he might be totally scared off.
Author chasingrainbows25 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Well i think its downright rude of him. If he's not that into me then he should have just left politely last night. I dont intend to contact him again, neither by email or phone the txt I sent today was nothing compared to the contact he's made of the past week or so. I've found your answers interesting and I guess I truely believe that if he was that into me he'd have made some sort of contact. His loss ............
xjadex Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Well i think its downright rude of him. If he's not that into me then he should have just left politely last night. I dont intend to contact him again, neither by email or phone the txt I sent today was nothing compared to the contact he's made of the past week or so. I've found your answers interesting and I guess I truely believe that if he was that into me he'd have made some sort of contact. His loss ............ I wouldn't lose hope just yet. Like you said, he did contact you after the date. I dated a guy 3 weeks back and he'd called me next day. I didn't hear from him, for a further four days !!!! I'd assumed 'no interest' and I was wrong. He bounced back, told me how great he thought the date had gone, said he'd like to see me again, etc, etc. We havn't met again as of yet....he's long distance and things are well...looking iffy. But never assume no interest, not this early anyway! lol
moonshadow Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Well i think its downright rude of him. If he's not that into me then he should have just left politely last night. I dont intend to contact him again, neither by email or phone the txt I sent today was nothing compared to the contact he's made of the past week or so. I've found your answers interesting and I guess I truely believe that if he was that into me he'd have made some sort of contact. His loss ............ I'm sorry but I think you're majorly overreacting here. Just because he didn't respond to your text msg today within minutes of you sending it, you're mad and think he's rude? Again, maybe there's a legitimate reason. Maybe he has problems with his cell phone (I'm assuming you send your messages to his cell?), maybe he lost it, maybe the battery died and he couldn't find the charger, good lord.......it's not like a week went by without hearing from him....it hasn't even been 12 hours! LOL
Perry Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Somebody needs therapy. For his sake I hope he doesn't call you. Get a grip.
sultry33 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Somebody needs therapy. For his sake I hope he doesn't call you. Get a grip. agree... i rarely text or initate contact, i hate chasing or waiting around get busy if he is interested and you have patience then im sure it will work out;)
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