californiadreaming Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 & man I have mad cramps now! - The heart is acheing, and something is now starting to set in that she probably is not coming back. She e-mailed me and said " Good Morning, How are you? Quick question.. How much money are going to be able to give me?" I replied with " Good Morning to you too XXXXXX, I am good. I hope all is well with you. I have $400 right now, I won't begin work until after the new year, so I had to budget with my Christmas shopping. - With that said I will give you the other $77 after christmas." -Man, I feel so messed up now. I am not in the crying mood, my stomach just has mad butterflies. Maybe, because I am so concerned about what she is going to reply?
Knight_Ctrl Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 wtf, why is she asking you how much money you can give her?
kizik Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Get her that f*cking money ASAP and tell her to leave you alone so you can heal.
Ronni_W Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Get her that f*cking money ASAP and tell her to leave you alone so you can heal. I'm 100% with Kiz on this one -- don't buy a single present, or even can of cranberries, until you have repaid that lousy $77. If it feels like withholding it is you in control, that feeling is lying to you -- it is her in control, with power to facilitate you feeling like crap, with mad cramps & butterflies, and concerned about what you may get back from her. That is you OUT of control. Give lovely, home-made IOUs to your loved ones, instead -- and have a really MERRY Xmas knowing that she's off your back for good.
stillafool Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 She wants that money for Christmas shopping. I say pay her off ASAP and then change your phone numbers and email account. Seriously, you will be surprised how much quickly you can move along when you know they can't contact you becausse they have no way to. It will also keep you from wondering the "if and when" are they going to contact.
Author californiadreaming Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 She pretty much got a car in her name for me. So she pays the car, I give her the money. We have been broken up for a month, and its that time of month.
JooLee Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Seriously, you will be surprised how much quickly you can move along when you know they can't contact you becausse they have no way to. It will also keep you from wondering the "if and when" are they going to contact. if only i knew that earlier hahaha. anyhow, yeah i agree with the rest, just pay her off and say goodbye. sometimes goodbyes can be the best thing to do.
Ronni_W Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 She pretty much got a car in her name for me. So she pays the car, I give her the money. Sounds as if she is correct that it's your responsibility, then? Challenge is that, regardless of what a bitch she may be, or what crappy things she may have done to hurt you, none of that lets you off the hook of your own financial obligations; also not the fact that it's Xmas, or work is slow, or whatever else. Not repaying your loan is keeping you out of control, and out of inner peace of calm. It's about YOUR OWN good feelings.
Dmoney28 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Hey Cali, When she contacted you, The car payment was at the fore front. She wasnt rude or nasty about it. And given your circumstances, she could have been. This is the first oppurtunity to show retribution and responsibilty for your previous actions and behaviour. Will this be enough to get her back, problly not. But its a first step towards restoring your imagine in her mind and earning some respect in her eyes. Like alot of posters told me (angel111, 2sure, vivrantflow, lakeside, Owl and many others) you have to have some thick skin, alot of patience and no expectation of reconciliation. just take it one contact at a time. And try to show change, responsibilty and remorse during these contacts.
Author californiadreaming Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Hey Cali, When she contacted you, The car payment was at the fore front. She wasn't rude or nasty about it. And given your circumstances, she could have been. This is the first opportunity to show retribution and responsibility for your previous actions and behavior. Will this be enough to get her back, probably not. But its a first step towards restoring your imagine in her mind and earning some respect in her eyes. Like alot of posters told me (angel111, 2sure, vivrantflow, lakeside, Owl and many others) you have to have some thick skin, alot of patience and no expectation of reconciliation. just take it one contact at a time. And try to show change, responsibility and remorse during these contacts. I really started to get emotional while in the bank depositing the cash. The reason why is because I called her at work (I know - I know...Bad move) to ask if the acct. number I had was correct. She seemed very surprise, and kinda distant. It hurt, as I drove I talked to myself.. I was just like screw it, I am over it, yadda, yadda.. But, she told me to e-mail her when I put the cash in the account. So I emailed her told her I apologize for calling but I wanted to put the payment in early b/c I have to get ready to go to consueling. She e-mailed me back, that she wasn't mad at all, she said she thought it was a customer, and she was surprised to hear my voice. She then said thank you. I -emailed her back ok, the car is my responsibility - you don't have to thank me. becareful in the rain, and take care. - she e-mails me back for the acct. number to the car banking co. , and then puts well I hope that you can make the payment in the future on time, so that the bank does not call and remind me. - I e-mailed her back, Pretty much you can take the idea of having to pay for this car out of your head. Because we are not talking does not mean that I am not going to be responsible, and not have the money in your acct. on the due date. I told her I got the car payment. don't worry. There alot of stuff that I haven't been honest with you guys about but I want to see how it all pans out before I either celebrate it, or breakdown. Either way it is a BOLD step, and I know that it is what I need to finally decide if I am going to push for this or not. Stay tuned.
Author californiadreaming Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 I kinda fell of the topic, I am just all over the place right now. up & down! -Anyhoo, D ... Your right, and I am happy that I am able to take care of the car this month, and next month. I just gotta take whatever work I can find in between. I will be fine though! & as time goes by and these contacts arrive, I too have learned that you need that leather skin for all of this. This stuff is really draining, and the funny thing, we haven't even got anywhere near back together. - Imagine, all the work that comes then. I have sat down, and I truly want to be with this woman forever. I am very happy with our chemistry, what she has to offer, and who she is. So, I am willing to fight for her, but at the same time, I am not going to do a cat and mouse thing either. I understand that it takes time to heal. I am putting a limit on the time, if she does'nt give any interest by that time, I am going to start focusing on losing the feelings I have for her. Right now, I don't want to start that process. In the meantime & in between time - I am still doing me. & taking it one day at a time. - Just this LC .. If it is not Full contact - is a muthaf****n killer.
Dmoney28 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 well, you calling her could have turned out worse. But i would let her contact you next time. Im telling you right now, from a person who is going through a smilar experience....you better have a stomach of steel. The butterflies and cramps will come and go. Eventually they will subside. The biggest problem i have now is the sleeping issue. I toss and turn. After sleeping next to someone every night for 3.5 years its still is a issue for me apparently. Its good you let her know she wont have to worry about the payment anymore...just keep it up. And NC..no more calls...she's still very angry. Oh yeah, letting her know about the couselling was a nice touch. Text book update drop.
Author californiadreaming Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 well, you calling her could have turned out worse. But i would let her contact you next time. Im telling you right now, from a person who is going through a smilar experience....you better have a stomach of steel. The butterflies and cramps will come and go. Eventually they will subside. The biggest problem i have now is the sleeping issue. I toss and turn. After sleeping next to someone every night for 3.5 years its still is a issue for me apparently. Its good you let her know she wont have to worry about the payment anymore...just keep it up. And NC..no more calls...she's still very angry. Oh yeah, letting her know about the couselling was a nice touch. Text book update drop. My counseling session isn't until Jan. 8th - But I threw it in there.
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