broken_hearted01 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 What hurts the most is letting go. Knowing that things have change and nothing will ever be the same again. I cried myself to sleep every night for the past ten months. He and I had been together for three years and had a nasty break up in February of 2008. I had never been in a long time relationship such as the one he and I had. Post the break up, I really stayed away from dating. Although I called it quits, I had been really missing him. We went through the whole no communication thing for nine months. I had contacted him through email and I felt compelled to explain to him what I had been going through and that as strange as it maybe that I still love and miss him. I have no regrets in any decision that I have made thus far. In past times, his response would have been in agreement with my heart, but he simply responded with a mere “awwwww” and said nothing else. I just figured that he moved on and had found someone else and that I had to except that and do the same. But my female intuitions, and other reliable sources, have me in to thinking that he is suppressing his feelings. Recently, I have been going through old emails and I was surprised to see exactly how many of his emails that I saved. I read them all and to my surprise there was one in which he stated that he was seeing someone else (while we were dating) and that he deeply apologizes and said that he would only hope that I understand why and that he wants a second chance down the road. I remembered that this was the break up email and feeling like my life was going to end and that he had moved on. It had hurt for me to breathe and I cried myself to sleep. Why does it hurt? Any thoughts????
malika Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I can understand your pain. It hurts when you remember all the good times with him, and keep thinking, "Why can't we just revive that?" Yet knowing the relationship can never be the same. What was his explanation for breaking up and dating someone else? If he used to be affectionate in his responses, and now he's not (especially after 9 months), it's possible he a.) doesn't feel the intensity of emotion he once did; b.)is keeping up an emotional shield so as to not make the breakup more difficult. Expressions of love can just make one confused in thinking, "Why the hell did he break up with me if he still loves me?" The fact that you did no contact for that long shows how strong you are, despite the pain. I've come to view the pain of a break-up as like mourning; it has to exist, there's nothing to be ashamed of, and only time can heal it. I think making steps to socialize, start a new hobby, travel, or do something adventurous can help a lot. Was there anything you ever wanted to do, that you couldn't do while dating him? Now's the time to do it. I know it doesn't feel the same, but the more you get out and be active, the faster the healing process is and the more opportunity to meet someone new. Don't wait around for him. If he comes back, it will probably be when you least expect it. And by that time you may not even want him back! This is all just my two cents. I'm going through a hard time also, so I'm constantly telling myself these things as well Good luck!
saturnfell Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Hi, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I do agree though, you're very strong for not having contacted him for nine months. That takes great strength. Reading through old emails, notes, etc. is a very hard thing to do... especially when you come across that one email, note. I also agree that you need to keep yourself busy and occupy your time. Sometimes people need time to figure out what they truly want. Sometimes it takes a short while, and other... it takes quite awhile. In the meantime, you need to make the best of things and keep living well.
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