BentSpine Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 No one becomes impure by having sex. To me sex is a sign of the caring that the woman has for her man.
fishtaco Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Ok but what if the woman wants to wait for marriage? She is a virgin and wants to wait until she gets married??? Is that wrong???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, there's no wrong. There is only doing it for the wrong reason. If you truly believe in sex after marriage, more power to you. But if really you want sex, and you're only waiting for after marriage because you think that's going to somehow land you a perfect husband... not a good idea. Just like if you don't feel like having sex, then don't do it. But if you do want to have sex, but you won't because you think sex is dirty and evil and amoral, well, that's not a very healthy attitude. Basically, don't give into peer/society pressure, whether it's the pressure to have sex that came from the guy that's trying to bone you, or the pressure to not have sex coming from society because somehow sex is evil. Do what YOU want.
Author redant Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 I don't think I am teasing him. I really like him, but I'm not interested in jumping in the sack before I feel comfortable and feel like I can trust him. I don't see what is wrong with that and yea he can leave I guess if he is not interested, but I am interested in him, but a bit scared, because I know I want something serious I want someone to be there for me and take care of me as I would for him. Why should I risk my heart because he wants to screw . I need more than that.
xoAdrianaox Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I just don't want to have sex with someone who isn't my husband because not only is this a promise I had made with God, but also because I want my husband to be the luckiest man alive and that he means so much to me that I had waited all this time just for him. I want it to be REAL and special and being his WIFE, I will feel that with him and will WANT to give him my all. No, there's no wrong. There is only doing it for the wrong reason. If you truly believe in sex after marriage, more power to you. But if really you want sex, and you're only waiting for after marriage because you think that's going to somehow land you a perfect husband... not a good idea. Just like if you don't feel like having sex, then don't do it. But if you do want to have sex, but you won't because you think sex is dirty and evil and amoral, well, that's not a very healthy attitude. Basically, don't give into peer/society pressure, whether it's the pressure to have sex that came from the guy that's trying to bone you, or the pressure to not have sex coming from society because somehow sex is evil. Do what YOU want.
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 This kind of thread is always an interesting read, since different people see things in different way. I will say that it's annoying as hell to see people assume that it's their right to someone else's body and also to assume that it's the woman's job to cater to the man by amending her natural instincts, to suit him. It takes two to tango. The more I read, the more I'm of the more militant frame of mind that men just have to suck it up and know that everything is a risk in life. Just stop whining if you can't get any. If you're willing to invest honest emotion into a relationship, you might be surprised at how many women will reciprocate with mind, heart AND body. If you're not, expect that sooner or later, she's going to pull back.
Tomcat33 Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Why should I risk my heart because he wants to screw Well you should keep reminding yourself of that when you feel pressured to sleep over at this house or to fool around with him. The more you give in to this "pressures" the more you are saying to him, I am ready to take it to the next level. If you are with him and get all hot and heavy and then next time you see him you need to take it slow again, ie. get bothered because he want's more than just a kiss, it's no wonder the guy pressures you, you already showed him that you are on the fence and easily pushed to change your mind. If the relationship really is progressing then you have to let it take its course, but if you are not ready for it to move along then don't go there. Walk the talk, ya know?
movingonandon Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 This kind of thread is always an interesting read, since different people see things in different way. I will say that it's annoying as hell to see people assume that it's their right to someone else's body and also to assume that it's the woman's job to cater to the man by amending her natural instincts, to suit him. It takes two to tango. The more I read, the more I'm of the more militant frame of mind that men just have to suck it up and know that everything is a risk in life. Just stop whining if you can't get any. If you're willing to invest honest emotion into a relationship, you might be surprised at how many women will reciprocate with mind, heart AND body. If you're not, expect that sooner or later, she's going to pull back. Nobody's whining here. There are plenty of women out there that are very comfortable having sex all the time, and in a timely manner. So that's just something that women like the OP need to be aware of and therefore not attach such a significance to their vaginas . I'm sure they have said significance for them, but not in the grand scheme of things. Sex is sex, and most of the drama surrounding it is unjustified. Have your emotional needs etc., but just as no man should expect a woman to do something she's uncomfortable with, no woman should expect a man to put up with whatever her emotional baggage is just to get sex. There are easier options out there. So no, I'm not goint so "suck it up". I'm getting sex on my terms, not on somebody else's terms - it's only fair .
xoAdrianaox Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Yes and these easy options come with baggages too - such as std's, herpies and ghonnorea - or even pregnancy every guy loves a good **** with a dirty whore. nobody's whining here. There are plenty of women out there that are very comfortable having sex all the time, and in a timely manner. So that's just something that women like the op need to be aware of and therefore not attach such a significance to their vaginas . I'm sure they have said significance for them, but not in the grand scheme of things. Sex is sex, and most of the drama surrounding it is unjustified. Have your emotional needs etc., but just as no man should expect a woman to do something she's uncomfortable with, no woman should expect a man to put up with whatever her emotional baggage is just to get sex. There are easier options out there. So no, i'm not goint so "suck it up". I'm getting sex on my terms, not on somebody else's terms - it's only fair .
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Nobody's whining here. There are plenty of women out there that are very comfortable having sex all the time, and in a timely manner. So that's just something that women like the OP need to be aware of and therefore not attach such a significance to their vaginas . I'm sure they have said significance for them, but not in the grand scheme of things. Sex is sex, and most of the drama surrounding it is unjustified. Have your emotional needs etc., but just as no man should expect a woman to do something she's uncomfortable with, no woman should expect a man to put up with whatever her emotional baggage is just to get sex. There are easier options out there. So no, I'm not goint so "suck it up". I'm getting sex on my terms, not on somebody else's terms - it's only fair . Go for it! That's your prerequisite. You'll also find that there are all kinds of men who are interested in the person in their entirety v. the vagina with the obligatory person attached to it. Now THAT'S my kind of man.
xoAdrianaox Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 You know what's really pissing me off in today's society?? The fact that there is an exponential amount of women out there willing to give me their vaginas and men assuming that all women now must feel the same. I rarely go to clubs, but the very few times I have gone, all I see are disgusting women out there rubbing themselves on men and practically BEGGING THE MEN to sleep with them. The men don't do anything to get a girl anymore - they don't have to. The men just stand around at clubs now, they don't even approaching the women anymore. It's so disgusting in my opinion. I remember overhearing this guy once saying something like: "Yeah man, you and me we're gonna three way bang this living hell outta this slut." It's almost as if people have forgotten the word "Respect". Women don't respect themselves anymore, and thus; men don't respect us either. This new breed of women have made the rest of us women look so bad. No man out there even believes in "good girls" anymore, they think we're all "bad" in some ways. If you tell them you're a virgin, they instantly think you're a liar and then just go look for sex elsewhere. "Movingonandon" has proven this theory quite lucidly. "There are easier options out there. So no, i'm not goint so "suck it up"." This is so sad to me. Most of these girls don't even really want this, they just have so many problems in their personal lives that this becomes their way to "rebel" and to escape from all of it. ***SO FOR ALL THE MEN READING THIS: GOOD GIRLS DO STILL EXIST SO PLEASE STOP ASSUMING THAT WE'RE ALL "EASY". IF U WANT SEX, THAT'S WHAT PROSTITUTES ARE FOR.***
510 Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Well, I would not wait around more than a month to have sex. Most guys want a woman who is keen on them enough to want sex faster than that. Really! Wow you would be easy? One quick and probably fake orgasm and you would be in heaven.. You think every woman who has sex with you or any man is keen on you? Please there are women out there playing this game better than most men.. and most experienced men will tell you in a heart beat who truly controls how romance is going to happen.
510 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I just don't want to have sex with someone who isn't my husband because not only is this a promise I had made with God, but also because I want my husband to be the luckiest man alive and that he means so much to me that I had waited all this time just for him. I want it to be REAL and special and being his WIFE, I will feel that with him and will WANT to give him my all. I think this is truly admirable, but in reality most men might wait so they an be the first and then when they get it they won't see all the euphoria and fantasy you put on it. It won't be simply love with fireworks. Yes, they love to have the virgin but give a minute and they'll be off to the next woman. Men are very visual creatures. But if you can develop something special then do that and don't play games with them either. Tell them up front that you have no plans on giving it up and look for a man with the same values.. maybe from church.
510 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 You know what's really pissing me off in today's society?? The fact that there is an exponential amount of women out there willing to give me their vaginas and men assuming that all women now must feel the same. I rarely go to clubs, but the very few times I have gone, all I see are disgusting women out there rubbing themselves on men and practically BEGGING THE MEN to sleep with them. The men don't do anything to get a girl anymore - they don't have to. The men just stand around at clubs now, they don't even approaching the women anymore. It's so disgusting in my opinion. I remember overhearing this guy once saying something like: "Yeah man, you and me we're gonna three way bang this living hell outta this slut." It's almost as if people have forgotten the word "Respect". Women don't respect themselves anymore, and thus; men don't respect us either. This new breed of women have made the rest of us women look so bad. No man out there even believes in "good girls" anymore, they think we're all "bad" in some ways. If you tell them you're a virgin, they instantly think you're a liar and then just go look for sex elsewhere. "Movingonandon" has proven this theory quite lucidly. "There are easier options out there. So no, i'm not goint so "suck it up"." This is so sad to me. Most of these girls don't even really want this, they just have so many problems in their personal lives that this becomes their way to "rebel" and to escape from all of it. ***SO FOR ALL THE MEN READING THIS: GOOD GIRLS DO STILL EXIST SO PLEASE STOP ASSUMING THAT WE'RE ALL "EASY". IF U WANT SEX, THAT'S WHAT PROSTITUTES ARE FOR.*** I think that must be the clubs YOU attend. I don't see that where I go and the men are still pretty much men, chasing, offering to buy drinks or food, trying to make a decent contact. Now there will always be some men and women whose behavior is questionable but not everyone is like this and men are smarter than you give them credit for. They know a good girl from a bad one, but sometimes they chose that bad one for a specific purpose. And so you think just because a woman loves to have sex she is a prostitute? Has someone put these views in your head? Just curious?
510 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I don't think I am teasing him. I really like him, but I'm not interested in jumping in the sack before I feel comfortable and feel like I can trust him. I don't see what is wrong with that and yea he can leave I guess if he is not interested, but I am interested in him, but a bit scared, because I know I want something serious I want someone to be there for me and take care of me as I would for him. Why should I risk my heart because he wants to screw . I need more than that. Do you.. but you feel the only way you can get hurt is if it you give it up? Really.. he can't hurt you without sex? I mean what if you found out he was interested and communicating with someone else. Would that hurt you? What if he leaves because you won't have sex with him, would that hurt you? I mean do you only measure hurt by giving it up and him............ what? Leaving.. Did he tell you he was interested in a long term relationship as well? If not stop wasting your time.. or stop talking about it with him.. just do you. And the only way you are going to find out if anybody else is out there with your values is to not get hung up on one person, otherwise you almost obligate yourself to go through the agony..
movingonandon Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Go for it! That's your prerequisite. You'll also find that there are all kinds of men who are interested in the person in their entirety v. the vagina with the obligatory person attached to it. Now THAT'S my kind of man. Heh, I *never* said I'm not interested in the woman as a person. But, playing lil' mind games when it comes to sex also speaks volumes about that *person*, and that's not the kind of person i want to be with (or even 'just' have sex with).
nowhereman82 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Ok so I read the first 4 pages....stopped after that. Here is why guys run when you don't want to have sex, ESPECIALLY if they are saving sex for marriage. Why am I going to give up sex for X amount of months with no guarantee that the relationship will end up being long term. I am, Men are, wired for sex. It's how we function. We are pigs, but nature made us. Fortunately for woman, for the most part, because we are human and not animals we restrain our selves. Some better than others. Could you imagine being a man and getting an erection that is sensitive to just the touch of your pants every time you hug the woman you are attracted to, or when you kiss her? Or even just the smell of her triggering that? You just went from cold to hot in a blink of an eye. Your physiology changes and hormones are put out. Hence men think with their dicks. Anyone says otherwise is ignorant, I'm sorry. As for the OP, getting back to her original post.....There are no guarantee's in life. People are unpredictable. You can wait as long as you like. But there can be different outcomes, you can't control or mitigate risk. Wait and 1) after you have sex, he ends it for whatever reason 2) he acts different and you are no longer interested 3) you live happily ever have sex and 1) he gets his 'conquest' and leaves you 2) he doesn't like how you are in the bedroom and leaves you 3) things go fine and you date for awhile and/or live happily ever after. I notice something in common. Whether you have sex with him or not doesn't control anything or mitigate anything! But personaly, if I found out the lady I was interested in had no interest in sex/sexuality and didn't 'need it' and did things to keep her man happy....I would not want to be with her anymore. I have been there and done that. I have had wonderful relationships that were sexless. And the sexlesness was the only thing that made me unhappy. I want my woman to want me as much as I want her....and not just to 'scratch my back'
Star Gazer Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I don't think I am teasing him. Oh yes you are!! Sleeping in the same bed with him and doing everything but letting him stick it in IS teasing him. If you were truly worried about his commitment level, you wouldn't be taking it that far. You'd be keeping your interaction vertical and out of the bedroom. Instead, you're using sex as a tool. It's manipulative.
Perry Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 So he left after only a month, redant? You weeded out a weak little boy, without even realizing it. Works pretty good, doesn't it?
nowhereman82 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 People put too much store in sex because of religions influence of societal view points. Too much taboo and guilt. So people seem to thing manual or oral reciprocation are less sexual than penetration. Something to note, Oral sex was something that mainly prostitutes performed prior to this turn of the century in western/anglo culture. Though mainly this was because up until internal plumbing came about, people could not bath as frequent, hence a lot more odor down there Sorry if I grossed anyone out. But nice history`ish lesson eh?
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 So he left after only a month, redant? You weeded out a weak little boy, without even realizing it. Works pretty good, doesn't it? It does work very well. Step 1: Attraction. Step 2: Verification of attraction v. walking vagina syndrome. Step 3: He'll stick around or walk. Step 4: Great guy worth proceeding forward with or Sayonara! Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.
movingonandon Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 So he left after only a month, redant? You weeded out a weak little boy, without even realizing it. And that's the true essence of "make him wait for sex attitude" . Don't worry, with an attitude and personality like that I won't be anywhere near you, even if you buy me a car to have sex with you :sick::sick: Go find yourself a little boy willing to put up with your crap :)
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 He dropped you because you weren't interested in instant sex. If he really cared about you, waiting another month or even longer would have been nothing. He was after the sex. Good thing you got rid of him before he used you.
movingonandon Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 He dropped you because you weren't interested in instant sex. If he really cared about you, waiting another month or even longer would have been nothing. He was after the sex. Good thing you got rid of him before he used you. Gosh, human's ability to rationalize their way out of anything is amazing . Did it occur to you that he might have dropped you precisely because he became aware of your mind games? That would make any sane men drop you, *even if he actually really liked you initially.* As usual with this kind of thread, this one got out of hand long time ago. BUt, the bottom line is that if two people like each other enough to go out for a month, there is NO reason for them not to have sex, unless one of them has agenda or some psychological scarring - as became evident all over these pages Peace out:love:
tuscansun Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I STRONGLY disagree with enema. I have this issue a lot because I'm Christian but I'm not perfect so I have had sex but i don't take it lightly at all. If I was a virgin I think guys would get that, but since Im not they're like...sooo....what's the problem... I know this is a little different than the post but I get annoyed when guys get impatient. THere are other ways to get off without getting prematurely intimate. The guys that have really been into me have been cool enought to wait. The one time I gave in to shut the guy up he didn't call me after...conquest...And the sex had been pretty darn good...You should never have to have sex before you feel up to it. And personally, I think if YOU were more into him, itd be hard for YOU to wait...so reconsider how into HIM you are....
Recommended Posts