xpaperxcutx Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 What if he offered you money? Johan you have a respectable woman confused with a prostitute
johan Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Johan you have a respectable woman confused with a prostitute Sometimes they make it confusing themselves.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 TomCat I'm just not interested in giving my body to him. I personally don't need the pleasure. I'd rather wait until I feel more comfortable. What would make you feel more comfortable?
norajane Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Yea well I really don't know him well enough to have sex with him I think, but obviously he thinks differently. If you're not ready, you're not ready. You should never have sex before you want to. You'll just end up having bad sex, and will like him less afterwards if you're pressured into it.
Author redant Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 I would be comfortable if we were at least friends for a few months and we shared alot of interests together talked alot, laughed alot w/o the pressure of him wanting to get me into bed. I don't know I am no angel it is just my current mind set that is all. I know I would ahve mind blowing sex and frequently, but I want it with someone I love not just know for a month.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 That is 100% reasonable and a great standard to set for yourself. I see nothing wrong with that. If he doesn't get that and keeps insisting then maybe he is not the right guy for you.
Fierce Grace Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I know a guy who waited on a girl and they eventually got married maybe a year later.. which i think is awesome so it can happen.. I understand totally where ur coming from though... i've let many guys i've attempted to date know i'm not interested in having sex with them b/c i will take it as a fling and not take them seriously and i feel like i've been there done that and I'm looking for real relationships.. which i think u will eventually find along the way ..... but don't feel pressured to do something cus ur sure to regret it... but its soo funny I've had the exact experiences.. high pressure to come over spend the night etc etc... and i'm not soo naive i don't see where that is headed which makes me just as frustrated because I have to keep re-explaining my position...
Author redant Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Yea Fierce it did get frustrating re-explaining. He just has a different outlook obviously.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Well on the guy side of things it can get frustrating if say you want to wait but then do this I think he knows I like sex we fooled around quite a bit it sends him mixed signals and that is what makes a person feel manipulated.
Author redant Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 I was trying to make him happy and let him know i am interested. Anyway I'm done for the night thanks you guys and women!
Trialbyfire Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 It's nice to see someone else who's comfortable saying "No" when they're not ready or something appears off. Any guy who lacks sufficient patience, is less interested in you as a person. Good night redant.
Fierce Grace Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 It's nice to see someone else who's comfortable saying "No" when they're not ready or something appears off. Any guy who lacks sufficient patience, is less interested in you as a person. Good night redant. soooo very true
510 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I have been dating this guy that I am attracted to, but I am not interested in having sex at this point. I've only known him a month. We have gone out quite a bit, I enjoy his company and many things about him, but then I also feel pressured because he wants me to sleep over with him all the time. I am in my mid thirties and I am looking for someone who wants something serious, someone who is looking to get married. Anyway last night we were making out etc, but I stopped him again and explained to him again that I don't yet want to I don't feel like I know him well enough or trust him enough and am wanting something more that just sex and good times. Anyway he seems to think that sex takes things to another level etc and that's just how he always does things. Meets someone he likes then has sex, I guess I have done the same, but now I want to know the person more, because I'm looking to settle down I want to make sure they will be there and really care about me. So he left and we decided we think different. I guess I wont hear from him again, but it is a little hurtful that he really did not care. . What do yall think about what I did. Will any guy be ok with waiting? I feel like I will never find someone I am attracted to that is willing to wait. I agree with Random Guy and with matters of the heart you must be careful. I see nothing wrong with you wanting to wait and maybe he's not the one.. that's ok right? We can be attracted to many people, but it doesn't mean they are the one. I say trust your instincts and hold on to what's important to you because if you have sex with him and he is a dog or doesn't appreciate you, you'll find yourself quite hurt. And yes, there many men who will wait.. hum as I'm writing this I'm thinking about a couple that I've been dating for quite a while.. one for 2 years and the other over a year and yes they keep asking. And yes I've dated other guys after meeting them. But, the key for me is I don't have to go there with anyone I choose not to, especially when you date more than one person.. its easy to say no. But for some reason I think when its one on one exclusive guys expect you to go there. Again, do what's right for you..
xoAdrianaox Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 redant, I was in the EXACT same situation as you about a month ago. Except: I am 20 years old. When we met, I thought: FINALLY! We were together 24/7 and I didn't let him even kiss me until a month later. I wanted us to be friends but we were too attracted to each other. We told each other our deepest secrets. I thought I was really falling for him. Around 2 months later, he wanted to do more than kissing, he was about to put his hand on my chest, but i freaked out and stopped him. You know when you have so much RESPECT for someone that you don't want sex to ruin things? Anyways, minutes after I told him to leave, he sent me a message saying it's best we stay friends. That was about 3 months ago, we haven't said anything more than "hey whats up" since then...... I don't understand men. I don't know what I did wrong. He was the last person I wanted to lose in my life.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 And yes, there many men who will wait.. hum as I'm writing this I'm thinking about a couple that I've been dating for quite a while.. one for 2 years and the other over a year and yes they keep asking. And yes I've dated other guys after meeting them. But, the key for me is I don't have to go there with anyone I choose not to, especially when you date more than one person.. its easy to say no. . You've been dating two guys at the same time one for 1yr and the other for 2yrs? WHY?
BentSpine Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I don't understand men. I don't know what I did wrong. He was the last person I wanted to lose in my life.Tony will probably delete this but here goes: When two adults, that are both sexually attracted to each other, touch each other, they actually like it. You did not like it, so you probably aren't attracted to him sexually.
510 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 You've been dating two guys at the same time one for 1yr and the other for 2yrs? WHY? Actually more than 2 simply because I enjoy it and I'm not ready for a committed relationship. One of them thinks I am a big flirt.. that is true, but honestly its because I have some professional goals I'm working towards and I'm not trying to get involved a deep level with anyone because I cannot promise I will want to be with them later on. Nor can I give them the attention they may want from a relationship. Yes, every time I meet someone I let them know up front where I stand. I truly believe that if something is meant to be it will be. When the time comes, I'm ready and I happen to fall for one of them, then hey that will be a wonderful thing.
510 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 ok I have done alot past the kissing stage. I have slept over with him even. Fooled around past kissing. Anyway it's just that when we see each other it's great but then he wants to get busy mugging down plus everything else so each time I have to stop him because I am not ready to go all the way with him. You should stop teasing him also. I know a lot of women who ended up in unfavorable situations doing what you are doing. Sleeping with him without doing anything. Touching and feeling and then saying no.. that is not cute and you should stop doing that to him. If you're not ready to go all the way don't fake like you are..
moonshadow Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 You should stop teasing him also. I know a lot of women who ended up in unfavorable situations doing what you are doing. Sleeping with him without doing anything. Touching and feeling and then saying no.. that is not cute and you should stop doing that to him. If you're not ready to go all the way don't fake like you are.. I agree. I think it's very misleading to spend the night with a guy, to "fool around" but then insist you're not ready for sex. That's called being a tease. It's sending a lot of mixed messages. It gives a guy a severe case of blue balls, too. And yes, by doing this, you're increasing the odds of p*ssing off the wrong guy and things then getting terribly out of hand.
xoAdrianaox Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Oooohhh I was VERY VERY sexually attracted to him. But I made a promise to myself to wait for marriage. We weren't even exclusive for me to even consider doing anything beyond kissing. It was the weirdest thing...we were talking 24/7 for 2 months, everything was going perfectly...and then all the sudden i say "no sex" and he runs for the hills....he waited 1 month until he could only kiss me, what kind of girl did he think i was?? men can be such pigs sometimes. geesh. And also: I did not do the same mistake redant did. I did not mislead him or "tease" him in any way. Unless kissing is considered teasing? Redant, if you hadn't been such a tease, you wouldn't have pissed him off in that sense. That being said, if however he was very fond of you, NOTHING would have stopped him. When a man loves a woman, nothing will ever come in his way. Remember that. Tony will probably delete this but here goes: When two adults, that are both sexually attracted to each other, touch each other, they actually like it. You did not like it, so you probably aren't attracted to him sexually.
Tomcat33 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Actually more than 2 simply because I enjoy it and I'm not ready for a committed relationship. One of them thinks I am a big flirt.. that is true, but honestly its because I have some professional goals I'm working towards and I'm not trying to get involved a deep level with anyone because I cannot promise I will want to be with them later on. Nor can I give them the attention they may want from a relationship. Yes, every time I meet someone I let them know up front where I stand. I truly believe that if something is meant to be it will be. When the time comes, I'm ready and I happen to fall for one of them, then hey that will be a wonderful thing. I simply don't know any guys that will date a woman for a year or two, and have no means to a future with them or any sort of progress in terms of reciprocal emotional development, plus no sex and most importantly WHILE the woman is also dating another guy on the side also for a year and you say there are other men above that too? I'm curious what's in if for all these guys? Don't they have lives? I also don't see how you can eventually fall for any of them when you are spending all this divided time with more than one guy in a year plus!?!? Dating several guys at once I can understand in early stages and when you are trying to find the right one for you, but this is just strange to me.
zenith Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 why won't you shag him? I mean, you like the guy yeah?
movingonandon Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I have been dating this guy that I am attracted to, but I am not interested in having sex at this point. I've only known him a month. We have gone out quite a bit, I enjoy his company and many things about him, but then I also feel pressured because he wants me to sleep over with him all the time. I am in my mid thirties and I am looking for someone who wants something serious, someone who is looking to get married. Anyway last night we were making out etc, but I stopped him again and explained to him again that I don't yet want to I don't feel like I know him well enough or trust him enough and am wanting something more that just sex and good times. Anyway he seems to think that sex takes things to another level etc and that's just how he always does things. Meets someone he likes then has sex, I guess I have done the same, but now I want to know the person more, because I'm looking to settle down I want to make sure they will be there and really care about me. So he left and we decided we think different. I guess I wont hear from him again, but it is a little hurtful that he really did not care. . What do yall think about what I did. Will any guy be ok with waiting? I feel like I will never find someone I am attracted to that is willing to wait. I think that he is a whiny wimp for not dumping you right away with this ridiculous attitude of yours, and you are either a) a manipulating beyootch or b) 13 gone 35 or c) you simply don't realy like him. Either way, you're just wasting his (and yours) time. If he is stupid enough to marry you this will be a disaster of biblical proportions
movingonandon Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Yea I understand about him having to work so hard etc. it's just that I'm not willing to do it with anyone. He thought I need to meet someone I am really into and attracted to, but I doubt I would she be that way and screw for pure pleasure because I want more. I do csee your point. I guess I'm worried no one would be willing to wait!! Only God knows, but I though I'd post here too. Of course no self-respecting guy would wait. There is no reason to wait. I'm not saying that there is predetermined number of dates to have sex. But, once you're making out and the next obvious stop is the bedroom, saying "let's not do it yet" is nothing but a cheap manipulation and/or disrespect. You ****ed plenty of other guys before without waiting. How do you think would this make him feel?
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