smiiiley Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I love my friends with all my heart, they're great people BUT we are not on the same situation so it's hard for them to understand (although they have been there for me.) Usually, as weird as this may sound, I have always been on the same page with them. We've pretty much had similar situations...when we were single, somehow we all (or most of us) were and when we were in relationships, we were all in relationships and happy...NOW im the one whos broken hearted and they are going on strong...as much as i hate to admit this, im jelous and being around the SAME couples hurts, cuz it reminds me of what i had....yet i still do it because their my friends... Now one of my childhood friends is getting married, she is 21...my other 2 friends just got engaged...im happy for them but its hard to relate...and when we went Christmas shopping, they're all laughing together about the gifts they're buying for their men...and saying how they cant wait to spend the holidays with their boyfriends and how blessed they are to have love in their lives... and they kept on going about how they are soooo happy and that this holidays are the best ever....i was just there and laughing with them but inside me i wished i was somewhere else...i dont know if this is weird but hearing happy lovie dovie stuff about love makes me feel even more alone.......im starting to resent my friends...esp. one of my guy friends because he said "awww, this year you're gonna be alone for the holidays...that sucks" and i told him "noo im gonna have my family, i dont need a man to complete me, and if i wanted just "a boyfriend" i have plenty of chances but i'd rather be by myself for now." Just venting...and if you guys have single friends or friends who are in the same boat as you, be happy because if it wasnt for this site, i would truly feel like im the only one who is single and heartbroken during this season...thanks to my friends!!
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hi there, I wouldn't worry about it. A lot of them are going to end up breaking up w/ their guys anyway. For example, that's great your 21-y.o. friend is getting married, but that is WAAAY young, and statistics show that under-25 marriages simply do not last. Your guy friend who said "that sucks you're gonna be alone" sounds like an insensitive douche. Sounds like you're about 21 years old. You're right that most chicks have a BF at that age, but 21-y.o. males are like retarded dogs. You're not missing much. A lot of girls your age define themselves by whether or not they're in a relationship. I can see how you might feel left out, but you need to understand that their little R's aren't going to last, at least most of them. You need to stop comparing yourself to your friends, are really enjoy the freedom that being single brings you.
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 that 21 year old getting married probably won't last, I don't mean it in a harsh way, I hope they do last long etc., but knowing women or men one will probably get tired in a few years and think they missed out on their youth:rolleyes: And stop coveting what someone has, I know they look all happy etc on the outside, but when there alone you don't know the fights battles they go through.
Adri Ana Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Kizik and EmperorR, I am stunned why are you so confident about smiiiley`s engaged friends` necessary breakups ? A person at her 22 or even younger is rather mature sometimes to make a really healthy relationship when he/she perfers it rather than a single life, do not you think so ? Smiiiley, it`s disturbing you at the moment as you are seeing your not single friends so happy about their bfs and husbands-to-be ,and it`s the pre-Christmas period,I understand you . But try to make some new friends,single like you,and eager to lead their lives just alike you . The interests of single and engaged people are indeed various,and cant stand for long together .
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Kizik and EmperorR, I am stunned why are you so confident about smiiiley`s engaged friends` necessary breakups ? A person at her 22 or even younger is rather mature sometimes to make a really healthy relationship when he/she perfers it rather than a single life, do not you think so ? Because people are still very much figuring out who they are in their early twenties (especially women), and until they figure that out, they just make everyone else's life hell. Have you ever met a woman who was 21? For the most part, I would not say they are... ahem... SANE or RELIABLE.
lifesucks2 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I know how u feel smiley, its the same with me. None of my friends are single and they just talk about how happy they are ALL THE TIME ! sometimes i just cant stand it i make any excuse to leave. i know i'm being selfish but i'm just jealous sometimes i feel like i need my bf by my side too none of them went through a break up like mine they just say why dont u get over him he's not worth it, they have no idea how hard it is, they're so happy and they have no idea what i'm going through they cant understand it they're trying to support me and i really appreciate that and i dont expect any more from them but it's ok cuz i know they have no idea what to do or what to tell me.. believe me i know exactly how u feel and i know it isn't a nice feeling at all..
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Everyone goes through a breakup at some point. OP, it's just not "your time" right now. It may be your friends' "time"... but sadly, they, too, will be going through their own breakups, heartbreak, despair and loneliness, eventually. Life is a big incestuous festival of emotions that we all trade off, until we die.
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Don't hang out with them for now. Or try to clue them in. Or here's my best idea. Do you have any single guy friends? Not saying you should date them but just hang out platonically. It really helps to dispel the feeling of loneliness. When I was single I hung out with female friends in a relationship-like manner all the time. It really felt nice. But then I got to go home and be single and myself. Or better yet, I could leave their house, go down town, and meet all the single girlies. It was like I had my relationship needs met by female friends and my single rampage needs met by fun new people at bars and parties. It worked out perfectly for me. We would hang out and make dinner and watch movies together, sometimes even cuddle, but we always respected the boundaries. Sometimes we'd go dancing, go out, whatever. I'm sure people thought we were together, but we were just friends. You see what I mean?
Adri Ana Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Because people are still very much figuring out who they are in their early twenties (especially women), and until they figure that out, they just make everyone else's life hell. Have you ever met a woman who was 21? For the most part, I would not say they are... ahem... SANE or RELIABLE. :) This is my response to you . Smiling smilies. You guess the reason? Probably not . The fact that you had never met reliable young ladies does not mean they do not exist . Thats it . I respect your opinion .But Your opinion is very wrong
Adri Ana Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Everyone goes through a breakup at some point. OP, it's just not "your time" right now. It may be your friends' "time"... but sadly, they, too, will be going through their own breakups, heartbreak, despair and loneliness, eventually. Life is a big incestuous festival of emotions that we all trade off, until we die. Very philosophical Even too much for a regular life.
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Oh c'mon I've met em, dated em etc., but a lot of em are just selfish and think they're the sh*t. Whatevs. Just trying to ruffle some chickens' feathers
Adri Ana Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Oh c'mon I've met em, dated em etc., but a lot of em are just selfish and think they're the sh*t. Whatevs. Just trying to ruffle some chickens' feathers You met wrong ladies. If you`d met me,you would think otherwise even in my late teens I liked your talking style I would have liked it then even more ..
BobSacamento Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Are they at least trying to set you up with guys. If they have BF's then those BF's have to have friends. Something I've noticed about some girls they like to keep all the guys to themselves. Keep all their options open.
kizik Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 You met wrong ladies. If you`d met me,you would think otherwise even in my late teens I liked your talking style I would have liked it then even more .. Just because you and I are a match made in heaven, does not mean all the girls are as cool as you...
silverbunny Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 i just want to say that im in the same boat - the whole "friends are all taken" thing. my long time best friend has been going out with her boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years, my cousin and his girlfriend just over 2, my ex's friend is just over 2 years, my classmate (girl) and her boyfriend (my ex's cousin, can you believe) over 3... and my college roommate has a guy she's seeing, but not dating. i am surrounded by happy, taken couples. now my ex even has a girlfriend. i did get him a small gift (under 10) but im not giving it to him in person just because i don't think it's appropriate now that he's got a girlfriend to see him unless he asks. so his sister is giving it to him (i go to the same college his sister does). i try not to think about it and so far im doing alright. i haven't let him being taken get to me. idk i guess im just tryin to get at that i kinda know what you mean. im not quite the same age (im 19) but im close. my long time friend (the 2 1/2 year one) has been talking to me for months how she and her boyfriend are planning on marriage and his possible proposals... then my cousin and his girlfriend are 'tentatively' planning a future... idk. i know that some if not most of these relationships won't last so i shouldnt be so jealous. but it just kinda sucks. down and out for the holidays. but like i said, im tryin to not let all this get to me!!
vanilla87 Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I completely understand that and I'm really not just saying that to make you feel better. I also have three friends that got engaged in the last year or so and they are all under 23 years of age. I only have 3 best friends that are still single, well my one friend, who is a guy, just got out of an 8 month relationship, and then the other two girls are just not ready to settle down for a long time. The thing is I hate how I have to keep hearing about "weddings" this and "marriage" that, its driving me and insane and starting to convince me to wait longer then I planned on getting married. I've been officially single since december 2007 and was dating someone in may, but all in all, I haven't had a real relationship since 2005, and it sucks that I've tried and failed and yet I'm still single. I mean my one guy friend can't stand this whole ordeal either, but thats another story... I'm happy to be spending time this holiday season with friends and family that are not all wrapped up in that stuff, and just enjoy life and having fun and what not. You should be lucky though, atleast you don't have to worry about arguments, having to make decisions with someone, worried about him with female friends, him getting jealous over your guy friends, and a bunch of other stuff that drives you crazy when your with someone. But it is nice to have someone, really it is...
Recommended Posts