zilverenvlinder Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I've never been this big of a wreck before. Imagine one day, your boyfriend of 2.5 years who constantly talks about your future children/life together, who has lived with you and hasn't spent a day apart from you, tells you, "Hey, let's move across the country next year!" and you go to the store together and buy a battery for your dysfunctional laptop so you can go job searching on the internet. Then, imagine, one day later, ONE DAY LATER, you get in a small argument about something silly, something mundane, something you've argued about 100 times before, and your boyfriend stops talking to you. A week later he tells you he wants to break up with you and that he's moving out. And then, FIVE days after that, he's screwing around with some tramp. He refuses to answer your phone calls and tells you he doesn't want to see you, that he cares about you but he just doesn't love you anymore. How the hell does this happen?? I haven't been able to keep any food down in days. I wake up early in the morning shaking, wondering where the person is that has slept with me every night for 2 years. I cry for hours and wish I was dead. The only way I can sleep is to eat pills. Who the hell does this to somebody?? He must be insane. I can't figure it out. I am so devastated by this it's hard for me to imagine going on with my life. At least give someone a warning, right?? Every time I pass anywhere, it makes me think of something about him. I can't watch a movie without thinking of him, or a tv show. I can't pass a store in my car or a restaurant without thinking of a time I was there with him. How could he start screwing around so quickly? How could he stop caring about me sooo fast? I call him and leave him voicemails, he never calls me back, when just two weeks ago he wanted to move across the freaking country with me. TWO WEEKS AGO. I am sick and it's hard for me to imagine living.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Something is wrong with him. Tell me what you argued about? It will help to discuss everything.
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I wish it was hard for me to imagine, but it's not I've been in your shoes. It's hard at first but you can get through this, the can't keep food down not hungry can't sleep i dealt with that. You have to stop contacting him don't call him anymore. I know how hard it is living with soemone and then boom their gone and your stuck in the same damn house or apt and everything is reminding you of them. Can you break the lease and move somewhere else? or move in with your parents or friends for awhile, it really helped me to get away from familiar surroundings of our apt to heal me a little bit. I would also recommend going NC, don't contact him for anything, you don't want a guy like this trust me.
SarahT111 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 *Hugs* I felt so sad for you when I read this But hun your not alone! This has happened to me twice!! The first time I was just like you. I was with my ex for 2.5years and was about to move up to him city to live with him permantly when all of a sudden he dumped me. He had another gf ONE DAY later!! It was the most gut whrenching pain ever. I felt like I was walking round with a knife in my heart. I didnt eat or sleep for months, and I tried to end things more than once. So I really feel for you. Its guna be a rough ride ahead for you and I wish I could give you some kind of magical cure to make it all better. I would suggest you stop calling him and cut him out. Its the hardest thing you will ever do but trust me its for the best. You DONT want to know what he is doing, it will only hurt 1million times more. Trust me on that one. Im sorry I suck at giving advice but you have come to the right place. You will get some amazing help here during this crappy time. Keep you head up hun, your not alone. Keep posting me and feel free to private message me
feeling so alone Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Imagine one day, your boyfriend of 2.5 years who constantly talks about your future children/life together, who has lived with you and hasn't spent a day apart from you, tells you, "Hey, let's move across the country next year!" and you go to the store together and buy a battery for your dysfunctional laptop so you can go job searching on the internet. Hi going through the same thing, i'm 29 single mum of 2 their dad told me he loved me on his way to work one morning that afternoon he phoned and said he wanted to end our 4 year relationship.....a year later i met a guy thought he was amazing my kids love him to pieces we've had out up's and down's and just 2 days ago he said he wanted to move out coz he needed space....time to think for himself! we talked about marriage kids of our own and the future now he's gone....i dont know what to do either xmas is just what 3 days away and i'm hoping hell realise what his missing....totally feel what your going through...please keep me posted x
californiadreaming Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I can only imagine how hard it must be. Grant it we all have the same common denominator ... We got dumped / did the dumping .. and all are sad, and most likely want our ex's back. I guess the remedy is the same for everyone's issue, we just need to focus on ourselves. Who your ex is, I was. I was that guy who was blind to the fact that I had a GREAT woman. a woman that ANY REAL man would die for. Amazingly beautiful, cooked, clean, latina, perfect body, smart, responsible, driven, career, the whole 9 yards! - And, what did I do? Take it all for granted. Man, my grandma told me months ago, that my woman was gonna leave me.. I laughed it off. I knew I had her for life. Sh*t, I even old my ex what my g-ma said, she got kind of offended.. So I was secure..So I thought. See until a man - let me rephrase that - until a young man grows up to be a REAL MAN nothing will faze him. Just like some rich people take money for granted, or a druggie takes drugs for granted, and od's .. They will not know,understand, and then learn. And then in some cases, the young men have to go through it a few times. My past 3 girlfriends left me, but I didn't care.. My mind state was one of a mack.. and at the time my longest relationship was a year .. I was happy when my ex b4 my last ex dumped me. I had just turned 21, and was able to tear the streets of Hollywood up. It wasn't until I met my ex, spent 5 years with her, and got dumped until I realized that I was ready to be a REAL MAN. & that my friend will happen to the young men who want to be REAL MEN, when the time is right. You just do what everyone is going to tell you to do. Go NC, and focus on yourself. Get out of that apt. and into a new setting. I'd move home if I could, save some cash, and spoil yourself with something new for the summer( a new car, new apt., new set of breast, a hot personal trainer, etc..) you'll be fine, stay strong, and talk to yourself... It helps me out a great deal.. Just don't let anyone see you doing it, lol.
smiiiley Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 californiadreaming, i know what you mean having that perfect person and taking them for granted untill one day they leave you... i know many people here have been done wrong but how do you cope with losing a GOOD thing??
FeedingOnFever Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I am so sorry to hear this. I also know exactly what you are going through. I had a bit more warning than you did, but not by much. In two weeks the relationship went from heaven to dead. I really can relate to you 100%. I hate waking up from dreams of him, barely eating half a meal a day, having people tell me I look ill, scaring myself at how pale I am in the mirror. NC is definitely the way to go. I've messed my NC up a lot, but I'm trying my best to stick to it now. I highly suggest the same thing for you. Don't give this guy the satisfaction of even getting to talk to you and know how you're doing. He gave those privelages up. Hang in there... I know exactly how you feel and I feel it with you. You are not alone.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 You're totally right Pyro. After a massive voicemail attack on Saturday (on my end, I kept calling him) and him finally responding the next morning, and me asking him if he ever regretted this whole thing and him just saying a flat "NO", I know for SURE no contact is the only way to go. It makes me wish I'd never met him, never gone out with him, so I didn't have to feel this way. Half the time I'm angry, half the time I'm sad. I have dreams too, and they're just normal... him and I going to the grocery store or the movies, just normal things we used to do all the time... and then me waking up and feeling like REAL LIFE is a bad dream. Argh. I hate it. It makes me absolutely sick.
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