mooe Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I recently broke up with my SO of 4 years and am in the process still of getting rid of things that remind me of my ex. I've returned all of the things my ex left at my house but there are gifts and other small items that I still have and am not sure what to do with. Things like a book that was given to me - or my dishes and other kitchen items (which were a moving in gift when I got my house). While these items do remind me of my ex it is more of a matter of fact thing, like I acknowledge where I got the item. Seeing these things don't conjure up any powerful emotions and distract me or anything like that. So, is it best to get rid of everything that connects me back to my ex - or is it silly to have to replace utility items like my dishes?
motive2002 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I threw out everything, although I was never given anything with any sort of utility.. just romantic fluff that had no meaning to me anymore. Some things you keep. Like appliances, clothing, other things. It helps to know you got something out of the deal hehe.
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 As far as practical appliances - keep them, use them, try not to cry at the sight of a spatula. As far as romantic memorabilia - do like I did and put it in your mom's basement. Leave it alone for a few years. You'll want to look back on it once you're over it - just to show yourself how far you've come.
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I threw out all cards, pictures, key chains, stupid little notes and stuff like bus transfers, movie tickets etc., all pictures she drew for me, all clothes/ties she bought me, bsaically everything she gave me except my computer mouse, wallet and psp, i'll get rid of them shortly.
californiadreaming Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I haven't made it this far yet. I know my ex has a box full of memories, and stuff. I also know she has alot of my clothes, and a few other things. She was really good about taking her stuff. - She is a MAJOR neat freak, and would have all of her stuff to the side when she would come on the weekends so all of her stuff she has, besides a shirt that sits next to my computer. The funny thing is I thought about that before she called me last weekend. I thought about if / when she was going to send my stuff.
Knight_Ctrl Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I literally burn every single last thing. I've got 2 more items left. A comforter and a pillow that I need to torch but I'm currently unable to stand. Burn everything, have some friends over get wasted and have an Indian style ritual. Literally jump around the fire as you burn things and howl. Trust me, it'll make you feel better.
kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 It might, or it might make you feel like an impulsive revenge-meister. Nothing wrong with putting stuff out of sight for a few years.
Island Girl Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 It depends...I have most always been the one who breaks up. So all of the items (no matter what they are) don't mean anything to me - no sentiment at all. Anything that I received that was something I could still use I kept. Anything that was just useless mushy gift stuff I threw away. Pictures, well, that depends. I usually have tucked away a few. But from some relationships I have tossed away those as well.
lofi_tokyo Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 When my ex left me because he did not want to be with me any longer, and instead wanted to try things with a new woman, I kept everything we shared! I still have it! Why? I guess because I figured someday, when I was old, it would be fun to laugh at the silly girl I was when I was 16-19, the things I found romantic - would they be so different at an old age? I knew someday the bitter feelings would fade, and all the would be left over was a quiet nostalgia that creeps up on your at times and makes you smile at the person you once were, an the person you've become. So! What did I do? Well, looking at all the things that were momentos of my ex and I's relationship hurt me while I was healing, that I can't deny. So I boxed everything up and hid it away in my basement. I still havn't dug the stuff out, but quite honestly, its been only four months, while I'm over my ex, I don't think I'm quite at the point where I can tearfully smile at the relationship we shared. lol To each their own though. All my life I've learned to just laugh at myself and smile at the world, so its easy for me to say boxing old things up came naturally. Many of my friends, however, have thrown out, burned, or somehow destroyed past momentos. Its all about finding your own release I think.
againstallodds Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I kept all my exes stuff too but be careful the new person you'll be with get jealous. It may works against you. Do you guys keep xrated home made videos too or throw that away? I think it's dangerous to keep that. The new person will get upset if they find out.
Trialbyfire Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Box it up and clearly label it with your exes name so you don't forget what's in the box and accidentally open it up. Wait a few years until you're completely over them, then do some house cleaning. You might find that you want to keep some of your past. If you're honest with yourself, there were some happy times which were experiences worth remembering but not pining over.
marlena Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 If it was a bad break up, I chuck everything out!!! Every little thing. I also rearrange the furniture or even chuck that out too and buy new stuff! I want nothing, absolutely nothing to remind me of him! It's also a symbolic act of my starting anew.
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