Goatsbreath Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Summary: Girlfriend wanted to go back in our relationship of 2 years, lose the label of boyfriend girlfriend and be able to do what she wants without having to expalin herself. Shes almost 30 and im 33. I really want to be done dating, I love her and thought we were moving toward marriage, etc. Apparently she already had a guy picked out to accomidate the new relationship terms and Im messed up. She lives with me but now does not come home some nights. Im dealing the best I can. She found a new apartment but cant move in until after the new year. Where Im at: A friend has offered a place for me to stay until she gets out so I dont look at her stuff and break down everyday. Ive tried to stay there but sometimes I wake up at like 4 in the morning and feel like its a dream. I end up in my car driving 20 minutes back to my place to see if she came home. She wouldn't really leave me for another guy I think, something is wrong. Also, this guy is married, has two kids and was trying to reconcile with his wife. Thats what she told me when she was hanging out with him on a supposed friend level and they were just talking about stuff. Anyway, I can't seem to pick a path to follow. I want NC but then I dont follow through. My emotions are all over the board. At first I cried and pleaded with her, then came the angry fights, now today I am so foolish. Suddenly I texted her a funny message trying to make things lite hearted. What am I doing, surely she must think she really messed me up as I turn moods faster then I can put the new expression on my face. Sigh, where is my strength.
californiadreaming Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I mean dude you guys are in your 30's doing this stuff. You need to pick up and move on. Find a woman who wants what you want. -ding- That sentence kinda got me. "Find a woman who wants what you want" That is it bruh, that is what you need to do. Your gonna have get a hold of yourself and start making moves towards the bettering of yourself. When I first started coming on this site a month ago that is all I heard was to better myself. Since I have taken steps towards bettering myself I have found that I am in a better state. Not breaking NC, not crying as much, and ultimately healing. You need to do the same. Just start by reading alot of quotes, get a library card, and get some books. Make a plan for what you wanna do. Working out is always good, start shopping, get a new wardrobe, read up on how to be a happy person, and start putting those things into action, and let TIME do what it has to do. By the spring you can be a bad dude. Fit, goal oriented, and giving off good vibes to women. Write out your standards for what you want in a woman, and don't lower them. You will be fine bro, just take care of you! -Good luck!
Dmoney28 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 yeah, im 28 and i know atthis age i was ready for a exclusive relationship. So 30 is no diffrent. Its a point in most peoples life were they start to settle down and slow it down a bit. I dont believe in ultamatiums, but your chick needs one. Tell her its you or him. If him, leave her alone. If yes, i suggest going to some couples counselling if you guys still love each other.
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Sorry man, I'd just break up screw her. I don't mean to be so harsh, but people like this can't be trusted. Basically she's asking for a break, space etc., basically I want to date other people but I still want your emotional stability. And you think she won't leave you for another guy, so did I and my ex did, if it's not this guy it will be another or another, your nothing at this moment cept her fall back guy incase anything goes wrong. It's already over man, her feelings have changed for you.
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