kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hey, *this post is meant to be semi-inspirational. If no one responds, that's totally fine with me, but I do hope some folks read it. Well, you could say I've been thru the ringer this year, with the end of a 3-year R and all the emotion that comes with it. One thing I've found, as I've come through to the other side, is that I'm not afraid of sh*t anymore. My hours seem to be decreasing at work, and my roommate said, "Are they gonna lay you off?" In the past, a chill would have gone down my spine at the awful prospect. But instead I heard myself say, almost with glee, "Maybe!" "Well, with the economy in the toilet, it's gonna be hard to find another job!" she said. "Hmm, not really," I said. "I have total faith in my abilities." And it's Christmas and I have no one to celebrate it with - but I'm not afraid of loneliness or pain anymore. There's this book CaliGuy recommends to high heaven: No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. In the book, he says that part of being a man is saying to oneself: "I can handle anything." Well, I can. I'm not afraid of anything this world throws my way. I have confidence in myself to love and lose, to try and fail, and even (how about this one) to succeed! It's a great feeling when you wake up and nothing scares you anymore.
The Collector Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 That's certainly the winner's attitude Kizik. I'm not afraid of anything... except mice... and, er... big buttons. But anything else and I'll kick it's ass.
johan Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 There's one thing you should still be afraid of: fooling yourself.
Author kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 There's one thing you should still be afraid of: fooling yourself. I don't know what that means, but it sounds vaguely negative. I aint fooling myself, I'm actually coming into myself. And yes, all you funny people out there, go ahead and imagine that.
Trialbyfire Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I fear a lot of things. Last night, while driving in the snow, I found myself afraid while watching other cars skidding and careening off the road, side-swiping other cars on the way. It didn't stop me from driving, forcing myself to relax and making certain there was always room on all sides of the car and gently correcting any kind of skidding. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop being afraid of things. It's an instinctual reaction. As long as fear doesn't paralyze action and prevent the end-goal, I'm not going to fight it.
Geishawhelk Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I think an absence of Fear - a complete absence - can make us selfish or foolish. we need a certain amount to keep us respecting Life, and others. we need a certain type of Fear - fear of hurting others,fear of being insensitive - to help us maintain a level of healthy relationship. We need a certain type of Fear to help us Love Life, to the extent that even if Dying is not a mystery, taking unnecessary risks makes us cautious. kizik, I hope that what you actually mean, is that whatever life may bring, you feel you have the courage, fortitude and staying power to know that it's not unbeatable......
Author kizik Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Trust me dudes, I don't think I'm invincible. I'm not reckless and I don't take physical risks. I should have made the distinction, though, between lack of fear between physical threats, and emotional ones. I guess it seemed obvious to me. I don't plan on parading myself in front of grizzlies like Timothy Treadwell, I just plan on turning every challenge, failure or hardship into an opportunity. Something good can be found in every situation. Fear will paralyze you, and I want to walk around.
Eve Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Well done you! I dont fear **** either.. something always works out. I learned this the hard way and in retrospect think it is a very hard lesson to learn. Regards,Eve xx
quankanne Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 It's a great feeling when you wake up and nothing scares you anymore. can we hear an "amen"? I think it's called self-empowerment, getting to that point where you realize that the stupid shxt that worries and scares you is just ... stupid sxht. That you will survive that comes what may, simply because you have the strength within to do just that. That you can no longer be inactive or choose a victim's role because you're afraid. and that's completely different than being stupidly fearless about things, placing yourself in situations where you know you're going to get hurt (like the bears eat guy who thinks he's a bear movie that kizzik mentions) ...
georgehutton Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I read something somewhere about two acronyms for fear. One healthy, the other unhealthy. Healthy F.E.A.R. = Forget Everything And Run = tigers, exploding volcanoes, brain sucking aliens, elevators with suspicious suspension cables, Hannibal Lecter, buying a risky stock without a stop loss order, Unhealthy fear F.E.A.R. = False Enemies Appearing Real = other peoples opinions, all the 'shoulds' you can think of, girls that look at you funny, and whisper comments to their friends, whatever the fools on the news like to talk about. Just keep up the good work, and make sure you know which is which.
RecordProducer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Kizik, I hear ya. You're talking about "what will be will be" and if you can't change it at the moment, you won't fear it. But speaking of your job, are you broke and spending more than ever? No. You do have a backup plan (to trust in your abilities to find new employment) and I am sure you either have savings or try to save and spend less now. As Geisha said, some dose of fear is healthy. Just like a dose of pain is healthy because it motivates you to stop doing what you're doing and look for solutions. Nature gave you the ability to fear and feel pain in order to wake the fighter in you. I agree though that just sitting in the dark and succumbing to your fear is pointless. Sometimes you just have to have faith because things do change for the better or for the worse without asking us. You think this recession is bad? ask those who lost their beloved ones too soon. Ask the billions of hungry, sick, abused, and homeless people.
Author kizik Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 ...you realize that the stupid shxt that worries and scares you is just ... stupid sxht. That you will survive that comes what may, simply because you have the strength within to do just that. That you can no longer be inactive or choose a victim's role because you're afraid. Very well said, quakanne. I read something somewhere about two acronyms for fear. One healthy, the other unhealthy. Healthy F.E.A.R. = Forget Everything And Run = tigers, exploding volcanoes, brain sucking aliens, elevators with suspicious suspension cables, Hannibal Lecter, buying a risky stock without a stop loss order, Unhealthy fear F.E.A.R. = False Enemies Appearing Real = other peoples opinions, all the 'shoulds' you can think of, girls that look at you funny, and whisper comments to their friends, whatever the fools on the news like to talk about. Just keep up the good work, and make sure you know which is which. Great input there, I like your distinction. Unfortunately a lot of people get caught up in this latter FEAR, and spend a lot of time fretting over what someone insignificant thinks of them. Life's too short, as they say. Do you want to look back on your life and see a trembling wuss version of yourself? Or do you want to see a confident, smiling, optimistic person who actually welcomed challenges?
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