Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 The art of it, is really steering the guy in the right direction, while making him feel like it was him that made the first move. That's exactly it. And I disagree that women should not think too much about it, the last thing you want to do as a respectable woman is NOT think and give in to your every animalistic urge because no one wants to end up being known as the town skank by all those men whom she threw her self on. 8/10 men prefer non sexually agressive women and feel less threatened by them and those very same men call agressive women skanks so please don't tell us to think about the kind of guy that does that, MOST guys do that Sorry guys, but you have to be a woman to understand that concept given you are the first ones to call women trampy or desperate when they give to too much too soon.
forrest Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 That's exactly it. And I disagree that women should not think too much about it, the last thing you want to do as a respectable woman is NOT think and give in to your every animalistic urge because no one wants to end up being known as the town skank by all those men whom she threw her self on. 8/10 men prefer non sexually agressive women and feel less threatened by them and those very same men call agressive women skanks so please don't tell us to think about the kind of guy that does that, MOST guys do that Sorry guys, but you have to be a woman to understand that concept given you are the first ones to call women trampy or desperate when they give to too much too soon. a woman telling men how men think? Really? Is this a joke?
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 a woman telling men how men think? Really? Is this a joke? please enlighten me what do men think of women that are ready to get into a relationship with them before they are ready to do that? or tell me what men think of women who are agressive sexually. please enlighten me
Nemo Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Really, guys love it when I do it. Both of them? Wow, that's great!
forrest Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 please enlighten me what do men think of women that are ready to get into a relationship with them before they are ready to do that? Men are not simple creatures that you make them out to be. Some men will find that very attractive, some will be unsure, some will find it a turnoff, some will have some other reaction. Saying that most men (8/10) will find it a turnoff is a bit presumptuous. I (personally) would find it very attractive. or tell me what men think of women who are agressive sexually. please enlighten me define "aggressive sexually" for me. You seem to define it as "touching the guy's arm, holding hands." It is also possible to define it as essentially raping the guy, wearing next to nothing. Define it for me, and I will tell you if I find it attractive or not, and most decent men will agree with me.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 That's exactly it. And I disagree that women should not think too much about it, the last thing you want to do as a respectable woman is NOT think and give in to your every animalistic urge because no one wants to end up being known as the town skank by all those men whom she threw her self on. 8/10 men prefer non sexually agressive women and feel less threatened by them and those very same men call agressive women skanks so please don't tell us to think about the kind of guy that does that, MOST guys do that Sorry guys, but you have to be a woman to understand that concept given you are the first ones to call women trampy or desperate when they give to too much too soon. Wow, so if I'm on a date and he's got his arm around me, and I lean in and give him a little kiss, now I'm the town skank? And aggressive? Really? Please. Oh, let's not forget desperate, too. And what I meant about thinking too much about this issue should be pretty self explanatory. My point, as some have seen here, is that when you are with someone and there's chemistry, you don't over analyze your every move. I did NOT mean that women shouldn't stop and think before jumping into bed with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Isn't that obvious? And no, I don't do this every time. Many times the guy will kiss me first. I'm just saying that I have done it on multiple occasions and it's always been well received.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 how true is this statement? I was reading an article that said that women should be the ones initiating the first touches, like, touching the guy's arm, holding hands, etc. Because it can be more easily forgiven to females than to males. Do you agree? I don't think it's any gender's job? It's whoever feel like it.. IMO. I've initiated the first moves on more than one occasion.. for some men, it is extremely 'exciting'... It's all about the chemistry and the 'feeling' you get from a man.. I can sense if the guy 'wants' me to initiate it or if he wants to be the seducer. It's like a sixth sense..
Author prettybaby Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Wow, so if I'm on a date and he's got his arm around me, and I lean in and give him a little kiss, now I'm the town skank? And aggressive? Really? Please. Oh, let's not forget desperate, too. See, that's the thing though: if he's already got his arm around you, then the initial physical contact has already been established by him. So the kiss you give afterward just takes it one step further. What I'm interested in is who generally breaks the physical barrier, who initiates that first subtle touch, etc. In my experience, it's always been the guy. Which is why I found that article interesting, because it encouraged women to start "touching" (arm, hand, etc) and also claimed that women can get away with it easier lol which I found pretty funny, and I guess also true in a way.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I don't think it's any gender's job? It's whoever feel like it.. IMO. I've initiated the first moves on more than one occasion.. for some men, it is extremely 'exciting'... It's all about the chemistry and the 'feeling' you get from a man.. I can sense if the guy 'wants' me to initiate it or if he wants to be the seducer. It's like a sixth sense.. Yes, it's all about reading the situation.
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 how true is this statement? I was reading an article that said that women should be the ones initiating the first touches, like, touching the guy's arm, holding hands, etc. Because it can be more easily forgiven to females than to males. Do you agree? Blanket rules like this are stupid. There is no right answer, it depends too much. If you like a guy and want to hold his hand, DO IT. If you like a girl and want to hold her hand, DO IT! If the other person rejects the advance, then learn how to read signs better. I like it if a girl grabs my hand first but I am never afraid to do it myself if I feel like it.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I completely agree Phateless.. my point exactly.
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Men are not simple creatures that you make them out to be. Actually, yes a lot are, when it comes to this stuff. Don't get offended I am not saying men are dolts, I am simply saying that there is this animals instinct in most men to enjoy the hunt or chase and for women to enjoy being hunted. That's all. I know there are exceptions but because you don't know how a guy really thinks when you first meet him better to play it safe and let him lead. Then once you know you are on the same page he can relax and let her do some of the pursuing. Guys who prefer women to make the first move are either young or inexperienced and or shy types.
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I don't think it's any gender's job? It's whoever feel like it.. IMO. I've initiated the first moves on more than one occasion.. for some men, it is extremely 'exciting'... Lizzie no offense but it all depends on your goals, you don't have relationships you don't want relationships you just want casual stuff. So that motto works PERFECTLY for casual hook ups. A lot of the advice people look up on dating is not on how to get a casual hook up, most people know who to do that it's is the EASIEST thing to do. They tend to look up how to play their cards right to ultimately find love and something meaningful.
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 See, that's the thing though: if he's already got his arm around you, then the initial physical contact has already been established by him. So the kiss you give afterward just takes it one step further. What I'm interested in is who generally breaks the physical barrier, who initiates that first subtle touch, etc. Exactly and that is what I understood by your question in your opening post, when you asked do we agree you asked do we agree the woman make the first contact. If you have been at dinner pawing each other the entire time what is the point of offering that you find ok to kiss a guy or hold his hand as you wait for the car valet? It's not like you are taking the intiative the situation is already what it is.
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Lizzie no offense but it all depends on your goals, you don't have relationships you don't want relationships you just want casual stuff. So that motto works PERFECTLY for casual hook ups. A lot of the advice people look up on dating is not on how to get a casual hook up, most people know who to do that it's is the EASIEST thing to do. They tend to look up how to play their cards right to ultimately find love and something meaningful. You're unable to see past generalizations. It depends on the situation. That's where social and emotional intelligence comes into play. You feel out the situation. If the guy is shy, he may need some help. If he's a big alpha-male frat-boy type, encourage him to chase you a bit more. I've noticed that some girls like sincerity and compliments, some girls like to be teased, and some girls actually are more attracted if you treat them like ish. I stay away from the last group. I personally like the strong feisty ones who will challenge me but let me know they're interested in some way.
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Wow, so if I'm on a date and he's got his arm around me, and I lean in and give him a little kiss, now I'm the town skank? And aggressive? Really? Please. Oh, let's not forget desperate, too. If you are on the date and he has his arm around you then you didn't break the contact now did you? HE did.
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 See, that's the thing though: if he's already got his arm around you, then the initial physical contact has already been established by him. So the kiss you give afterward just takes it one step further. What I'm interested in is who generally breaks the physical barrier, who initiates that first subtle touch, etc. In my experience, it's always been the guy. Which is why I found that article interesting, because it encouraged women to start "touching" (arm, hand, etc) and also claimed that women can get away with it easier lol which I found pretty funny, and I guess also true in a way. Whoever. Sometimes I start with a palm on the small of her back or a touch on the arm. Sometimes I'll make some smart remark and she'll punch me on the arm. Either one counts.
Murphy08 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I think men like confidence so a women making the first move is often surprising but pleasantly so for men. But really why does it matter who makes the first move? If you like someone and you think they reciprocate your feelings then go for it
anne1707 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 It seems to me that there is so much stressing here about "should I/should they" that the whole thing becomes too contrived. If it feels right to make a move then make a move. It does not matter whether it is the man or the woman, it is whatever is right for that couple at that time.
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 PrettyBaby - google the term "analysis paralysis"
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Whoever. Sometimes I start with a palm on the small of her back or a touch on the arm. Sometimes I'll make some smart remark and she'll punch me on the arm. Either one counts. Hahaha.. as long as she doesn't think you're being a smart azz and punch you on the mouth..
Tomcat33 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 You can be plenty confident as a woman and never make the first move. I am confident he will make the move when I put my subtle flirty signals out. Then again as I said before I don't really go for shy introverted types. If a guy can't build up the courage to kiss me or put his arm around or what have you, then more than likely I won't be interested.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Lizzie no offense but it all depends on your goals, you don't have relationships you don't want relationships you just want casual stuff. So that motto works PERFECTLY for casual hook ups. A lot of the advice people look up on dating is not on how to get a casual hook up, most people know who to do that it's is the EASIEST thing to do. They tend to look up how to play their cards right to ultimately find love and something meaningful. I don't necessarily agree.. but I think that comes with self-confidence aka maturity... I probably would think differently if I didn't have the experience I have with men.
Author prettybaby Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 PrettyBaby - google the term "analysis paralysis" LOL okay ...
Phateless Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hahaha.. as long as she doesn't think you're being a smart azz and punch you on the mouth.. lol the ladies love me because i'm a smart-ass. i had a female friend slap me once, because we were bantering and got carried away. my response? me: oh that was real smart, genius... her: slap! me: did you just SLAP me?? her: giggling and looking worried me: i didn't think you had it in you. domestic abuse! her: slap my arm it all counts. it's all in fun.
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