Cujo Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Okay, long story short. My ex of 3 years broke up with me 7 months ago it was messy but we did the friends thing (more of her pushing for it then me wanting it) for 2 months then I went total NC after we had a few arguments over the split and I had enough of her messing with my head. I get texts and phone calls off her every month or so but I never ever reply and deleted the texts right away. Fast forward upto last night, I met some mutual friends of me and my ex for a beer. These guys are going out with my ex's friends and they wanted me to move bars with them to say hello to their girlfriends because I hadn't seen then in awhile (I refused to go to birthday parties etc because I wanted to avoid my ex). They promised me that she wasn't there so I agreed to move bars with them. As soon as we get to the bar the first person I see at the table is my ex! I was very pissed off! I took my friends aside and told them that I have reasons not to ever see my ex again I that I was angry at them for bring me to the pub. They apologised but said that it was their girlfriend’s idea because they thought that I needed to get over it and this could help me. I agreed to stay for one beer and my ex tipped me on the shoulder to say hi in passing, I then noticed a few minutes later that she was talking to some guy at the bar which I really didn't need to see. I grabbed my coat and left (I realize that I might have over reacted but I felt physically sick). So right now I feel awful, I dreamed about her all lastnight and now cannot get the picture of her talking to some guy at the bar out of my head. I swear to god I wish she just vanished from the face of the earth because she has made this year one of the worst in my life and I really hate her for it! WILL I EVER GET OVER HER???
sunshinegirl Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 You will, but not if your friends keep trying to "help" you in this way. I'm about 7 months post-breakup myself, all of it has been NC, and while I am probably 80% over him, it would still throw me to see him. Yuck. Be gentle with yourself. There's no timeline to getting over someone. If you are doing better today than you were in the first week after the breakup, then voila! You're making progress. Generally I'm not fully recovered from any relationship for at least a year...for example, it once took me over a year to get over a 6-month relationship. But I usually just need a very long period of NC combined with getting my life back together and meeting new people... none of which happens overnight for me.
FindingMyselfAgain Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 WILL I EVER GET OVER HER??? Yes. And you'll be grateful she's gone. And you won't take the call, should she call. It sounds impossible right now, but it is my experience. Took me about a year to discover this, but it does happen.
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 WHy does this always seem to happen eh, your almost over her and then boom she pops up or you get a text or your phone rings and its her. I hate it.
Author Cujo Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks for your replies This is really a major setback for me............I was doing so well for 7 months (well 5 really) and I thought I had taken the high ground and shown real strength continuing NC but then bang.............there she is, looking stunning, talking to some dude at the bar across from me with all of 'our' old friends sitting around like old times. The dude could of just been her friend and my so called 'friend' actually told me that she hasn't been seeing anyone since we split but I really didn't need to see that, the image is now engraved in my brain and I can't shake it. I'm also wondering how did she take my storming out of the bar? Did I look jealous because she was talking to some guy or did she know I didn't want to see her and when I saw her she expected me to leave? Also what will do when she texts and calls me again? Will I finally answer or continue NC and basically never speak to her again? I’m so confused.
Author Cujo Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 I'm about 7 months post-breakup myself, all of it has been NC, and while I am probably 80% over him, it would still throw me to see him. Yuck. I was about 80% over my ex too then I saw her with *apparently her new boyfriend.............and now my Christmas is ruined! *My 'friend' said that he was too drunk too remember (yeah right) but he told me that the guy she was with was possibly her new boyfriend but he had no details what so ever (which I find hard to believe). My head has been turned inside out by all of this :-(
againstallodds Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 I know your feeling Cujo. My ex called some guy right after we broke up. I panic and like you my heart was ripped apart. Don't worry it's just a minor set back. You'll be fine after a few days.
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