Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 psh what a jerk, I'll be deleting him soon .. thanks for your advice no prob
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I don't think that's universally true. I certainly have weeks of being too busy. all he does is work, we're on break from school .. no excuses
EYECANDY000 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I think since he extended and invite to you and you canceled on him that you should call him and see if she wants to meet up somewhere..
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I told him when he wants to hang out to let me know, he HAS to know i'm interested it's up to him now
EYECANDY000 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 it was to late for me to go back and edit. But after reading further posts from you it doesn't seem like he's really interested in you. So, the scenrio went like this; you two go out for coffee, and then he tells you he will call and then he don't.. so you send him a message and he responds back and invites you to a group outing.. Sounds more like he was just being cordial. If he's inviting you out to a sports bar with him and some friends then his attention will definately not be on you... since you two went out has he initiated any contact with you?
xpaperxcutx Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 He's not interested. I'm aware that men who are into their lady friends actually bother to squeeze themselves into the girl's plans and try to gain their attention. This guy is more " oh lets see if we can hang out. No? Okay, have fun." Than bam!, you don't hear from him until you call him again whenever.
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 all he does is work, we're on break from school .. no excuses He doesn't have family to spend time with right now (Christmas time)? He has no life outside of school? He doesn't have friends? Activities? Hobbies? Sports? OTHER GIRLS he might be dating as well?? All of these things take up time.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 nope he hasn't the only time is when he called me after (he probably) read the comment I left him & he apologized for being "busy"
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 He doesn't have family to spend time with right now (Christmas time)? He has no life outside of school? He doesn't have friends? Activities? Hobbies? Sports? OTHER GIRLS he might be dating as well?? All of these things take up time. it takes less than a minute to write a comment
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 On the topic of family, friends and hobies I think people will squeeze an hour or two to meet up with a romantic interest and all those things take a backseat. Loveandconfusion: good for you for not making excuses for him. If he is interested he will come to you, he knows where to reach you. You've showed him you are interested unless he is retarded he knows. So rest is up to him if you are even still interested.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 the only reason why i'm still slightly interested in him is because i'm attracted to him & i'm really picky so when I do find someone I actually am attracted to I try to hold on
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 that's totally understandable, just because things didn't work out as you had wished it doesn't mean you turn off your feelings and hopes off just like that. It takes a little time to get used to the idea. I wouldn't delete him just yet. Be cool, wait a few weeks and see if he reaches out to ask you out again, see if he comes to you if there was a chance he really "was" super busy. () then if he doesn't come around you have your answer but if you keep reaching out to him and he really is not interested he might continue to give you bogus invites like "come meet me when I am out with my friends" what's that? whenever a guy tells you that tell him no thanks you go out and have fun with your friends and call me when you are free, that puts the ball in his court. if he is interested he'll find a day he is not busy to see you again.
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 it takes less than a minute to write a comment If you'd be satisfied with a lame, impersonal FB or MS comment, your expectations are far too low.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Who cares? What do you have to lose? I don't believe it would. When I'm interested in a woman, I love it when she reaches out to me. It shows she is interested. Yeah but he asked her out for a Monday date and blew it off, didn't even contact her. So I say he has a lot of ground to make up, ball's in his court, and he is setting the pace for the future, he will be very unreliable, is this what you want in a guy?
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 If you'd be satisfied with a lame, impersonal FB or MS comment, your expectations are far too low. I think you misunderstood what she meant she is trying to say that the guy is not making any effort at all not that all she wants is some FB comment. Her expectations are quite healthy actually.
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I think you misunderstood what she meant she is trying to say that the guy is not making any effort at all not that all she wants is some FB comment. I think YOU missed MY point. I'd much rather him CALL me and ask me out after being busy (it's the HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!!!!!) than continue to keep me on the hook with occasional, half-assed, impersonal FB comments.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I think YOU missed MY point. I'd much rather him CALL me and ask me out after being busy (it's the HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!!!!!) than continue to keep me on the hook with occasional, half-assed, impersonal FB comments. I didn't miss any point SG you're making lame excuses for him. I think you tend to do that. Christmas is not for another week almost and the guy asked her out a week ago. No one is that busy. He wasn't too busy to make plans to go out for beers with his friends.
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I didn't miss any point SG you're making lame excuses for him. I think you tend to do that. Christmas is not for another week almost and the guy asked her out a week ago. No one is that busy. He wasn't too busy to make plans to go out for beers with his friends. I'm not making any excuses. Clearly you missed the fact that they made plans for Thursday (i.e., 3 days ago) and SHE canceled on HIM. Should he have chased her down over the past 3 days after she flaked? Really? Ridiculous.
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I'm not making any excuses. Clearly you missed the fact that they made plans for Thursday (i.e., 3 days ago) and SHE canceled on HIM. Should he have chased her down over the past 3 days after she flaked? Really? Ridiculous. they didn't "make plans for thurs" this is what happened: he asked me if i'd like to go out maybe Monday night & that he'd call me, well that never happened I didnt hear from him until Weds because I wrote him a comment on Facebook I guess he read it & then he called me & apologized & told me he's been "busy" with work .. anyway he asked me if I wanted to go out tomorrow night (which was thursday) he said he was meeting up with some friends at a sports bar if i'd like to go I said idk i'll let him know there were no "plans" made or cancelled. the guy goes AWAL after their one time meeting and she contacts him to see what's up and he tells her he is busy and then says well if you want I am meeting friends tomorrow night if you like come to that. she had plans already. you call that flaking out on plans? What was the plan? some last minute lame azz ahh uhhh ummm I've been really busy but if you want come meet me at the bar tomorrow night with my buds, and all because you went out of your way to contact him? When women fail to read all the obvious signs that a man sends when he is just not that into putting effort to see them and they keep insisting, men will come up with lame excuses or practically chew their own arm off, to get out of having to say "I am not into you please read between the lines" At the end of the day NO one wants to have to say you know what I am not interested. But some women just refuse to see what's what. And I almost don't blame guys for having to turn into jerks to get the point across with some women and vice versa with women to guys who don't get it. It's hard enough to reject someone but why make it harder for them by insisting?
BubblyPopcorn Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Yes I am going to have to co-sign with Tomcat. It seems his interest was lukewarm after the 1st date which is fine but I also understand why the OP is hesitant at this point. Being invited to hang out with his friends as a "2nd date" and after SHE tracked him down after his "cancellation" doesn't really make a girl feel warm & toasty inside.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I'm not making any excuses. Clearly you missed the fact that they made plans for Thursday (i.e., 3 days ago) and SHE canceled on HIM. Should he have chased her down over the past 3 days after she flaked? Really? Ridiculous. when he asked me I told him I'D LET HIM KNOW but then I thought about it WHY would I want to be put in such an akward position we hardly know eachother WHY would I want to get to know his friends before I actually even know him .. on Thurs when I told him I can't make it I told HIM to let me know when he wants to hang out again so IT IS up to him to get in contact with me
Gremio Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I don't think that's universally true. I certainly have weeks of being too busy. Oh it is. If you can pick up your cell and talk to your mother, friend, boss, or whoever, you can talk to the person you say you are interested in. No one is ever too busy.
Gremio Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Yeah but he asked her out for a Monday date and blew it off, didn't even contact her. So I say he has a lot of ground to make up, ball's in his court, and he is setting the pace for the future, he will be very unreliable, is this what you want in a guy? Not at all, but I'm a male. If you cancel on out, I want an honest and sincere reason. I understand situations come up. If I don't believe it, you're finished. One strike, you're out.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 the date for Monday wasn't a sure thing he said 'maybe we can go out Monday night, i'll give you a call"
dashing daisy Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Honestly, from what I'm hearing, it doesn't seem like he's that interested in dating you. You went on one short coffee semi-date, he said he'd call and he didn't, and then, after you contacted him, he invited you out when he was already going out with his friends. That's not exactly something you do if you want to get to know someone in a romantic way. Unless you are really interested, and you aren't going to be able to let it go, I'd leave it up to him. Live your life, do what you normally do. If he asks you out, and you want to see him - then go for it. Otherwise there are plenty of other guys - what's so special about him? You don't know him very well, right?
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