loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hey everyone I need some help, last Friday (the 12th) I went out on a "date" (idk we went to starbucks for like an hour) everything went well after he had to leave he gave me a hug goodbye & asked me if i'd like to go out maybe Monday night & that he'd call me, well that never happened I didnt hear from him until Weds because I wrote him a comment on Facebook I guess he read it & then he called me & apologized & told me he's been "busy" with work .. anyway he asked me if I wanted to go out tomorrow night (which was thursday) he said he was meeting up with some friends at a sports bar if i'd like to go I said idk i'll let him know so I texted him on Thursday telling him I couldn't make it I was going over my uncles house for my cousins bday & he texted back 'no prob. have fun. ttyl." I haven't heard from him since I was just wondering if you think he's interested or not? thanks
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 It's your move now. You canceled on him, so you need to reschedule. It is possible he felt you copped out, so he is hesitant to contact you.
loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 In the text I sent him Thursday I told him to let me know when he wants to get together again so its his move lol
Ronni_W Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 My take is that he's not that interested, no. Sort of a "take her (you) or leave her" vibe that he is putting out. Someone who was interested would at least have bothered enough to say, "Aw, too bad," when you couldn't make it to the sports bar. Plus "too busy" to call is never a good sign. If they are really interested, they will make 5 minutes for you, believe me.
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 In the text I sent him Thursday I told him to let me know when he wants to get together again so its his move lol This is what I was worried about. Relationships aren't chess games. If you want to see him, reach out. There is no taking turns, no games. Just do it. You may very well regret it if you don't.
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 My take is that he's not that interested, no. Sort of a "take her (you) or leave her" vibe that he is putting out. Someone who was interested would at least have bothered enough to say, "Aw, too bad," when you couldn't make it to the sports bar. Plus "too busy" to call is never a good sign. If they are really interested, they will make 5 minutes for you, believe me. I agree. No one is ever too busy, not ever.
loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 yeah I figured that, I was thinking maybe it's a bad time being the holidays & all & it was only our first meeting but I really don't think I should be making excuses for him
loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 This is what I was worried about. Relationships aren't chess games. If you want to see him, reach out. There is no taking turns, no games. Just do it. You may very well regret it if you don't. wouldn't that seem desperate?
Ronni_W Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hey, Grem. How's it going? Are you sure you didn't just reverse your position? Cos you also said it was LaC's "move"...until you found it it was the guy's turn to step up(?) Anyway. Wishing you a terrific Holiday Season.
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Hey, Grem. How's it going? Are you sure you didn't just reverse your position? Cos you also said it was LaC's "move"...until you found it it was the guy's turn to step up(?) Anyway. Wishing you a terrific Holiday Season. Not at all. I knew someone would call that out and I was hoping it wouldn't be misinterpreted. I meant to her it's possible the man feels that way. Just giving her an idea of what his PoV may be. That is not what I believe in doing. I don't play games in relationships, just on Xbox 360. LoL BTW, I'm very good. I have a good ending to my story about the "So hot so cold" woman if you remember.
Ronni_W Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 but I really don't think I should be making excuses for him You're 100% right about that. I think let him go cos you deserve to be treated much better than he's bothering to do. And if he's ALREADY acting all "oh whatever", how is it gonna look after a few more dates? Even if he does call again, say 'no thanks', is what I'd suggest.
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 wouldn't that seem desperate? Who cares? What do you have to lose? I don't believe it would. When I'm interested in a woman, I love it when she reaches out to me. It shows she is interested.
loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 If he doesn't know i'm interested he's beyond dumb i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt because its the holidays & the place he works in understaffed
Ronni_W Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I have a good ending to my story about the "So hot so cold" woman if you remember. That is excellent! I didn't see your post about the good ending but am really glad to hear of it When I'm interested in a woman, I love it when she reaches out to me. It shows she is interested. "When you are interested" is the operative, though -- this guy ain't acting as if he is interested enough, plus didn't call when he said he would (to set-up the Monday date.) That's not showing real interest, in my books. If he had been more attentive, then yes it wouldn't matter who is callling when. But, right now, he hasn't done anything to deserve a call from LaC. IMO.
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 That is excellent! I didn't see your post about the good ending but am really glad to hear of it "When you are interested" is the operative, though -- this guy ain't acting as if he is interested enough, plus didn't call when he said he would (to set-up the Monday date.) That's not showing real interest, in my books. If he had been more attentive, then yes it wouldn't matter who is callling when. But, right now, he hasn't done anything to deserve a call from LaC. IMO. I never posted about it but I will tell you here. If I tell you... I won't have to kill you. I'll start a thread just to give everyone a heads up who was interested. I agree with you on the points of his interest, and I firmly believe in no second chances, acting on signs, etc. In her situation though, it appears they have only been talking for around a week. It's hard to base a conclusion on something like that, especially around this time of year.
loveandconfusion Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 ha yeah its been about a week or 9 days not too long, still very frustrating
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 does anyone else have any advice??
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Did you meet on Facebook or had you already met him in person before you connected on Facebook?
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I saw him in person twice but he didn't know who I was but then I found him on facebook so yeah facebook
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 Ok well the reason I ask is because it sounds like when he met you he didn't feel chemistry. You may find him to be your type, but he may not feel the same way about you after meeting up with you in person. And it's not that there is anything wrong with you but chemistry is like that it is either there or it isn't so when you meet someone online you always run the risk that one or both of you won't feel the same once you meet. After reading what you posted that he did after that initial date, it sounds like he doesn't know how to tell you this so he is avoiding you with excuses. Back right off and if he is intersted he will come to you. I'd stop chasing him altogethere if I were you. But I am not you so you decide.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 yeah i'm just trying to figure out why he would ask to go out again if he didnt feel anything & he's the one that asked me out (on FB) in the first place
Tomcat33 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 yeah i'm just trying to figure out why he would ask to go out again if he didnt feel anything & he's the one that asked me out (on FB) in the first place I knew you would say that and here is my answer: because some guys are putzes, they don't know how to quit while they are ahead and they have to say "I'll call you" or "let's go out again sometime" when really they mean I am not all that into this again let me just go. It's almost like they need to say something nice to save face. They think it is nice but it just makes women sit around doing what you are doing "so what did? does he or doesn't he like me?" Also you are on facebook and are connected on there and he can't exactly pull a jerky move with you since you prob have people in common etc. Women do this too it is not exclusive to men. Also don't let the fact that he may have been overly ethusiastic on paper mislead you into thinking that this will translate once you meet in person. The thing about meeting someone online is that you base a lot of what the other person is like on your own fantasy and when you meet them in person very rarely does the actual real person meet up to the expectations you imagine in your head. Who knows what he imagined but perhaps when he met you it was not what he thought it would be. As I mentioned this is not your deal it is his. You have no control over what he finds attractive or not nor should you feel about about that. k? PS I get lots of men I have never met before trying to add me on FB, I don't bother it's not worth the hassles.
loveandconfusion Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 psh what a jerk, I'll be deleting him soon .. thanks for your advice
Star Gazer Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I agree. No one is ever too busy, not ever. I don't think that's universally true. I certainly have weeks of being too busy.
Recommended Posts