hereandnow Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 So after 2 months I've finally decided that no contact is the way to go. Here's the problem. We run in the same social circle and we both go to the same type of meetings. I can do pretty good at avoiding her for the most part, but there are a couple of places that I like to go where she just may pop up. These are meetings that have been extremely important to me since before the relationship, and I really don't want to give them up. They are where I meet up with some of my best friends and get great support. These aren't places I know that my ex will be, but eventually she will show up. How should I handle this with respect to no contact?
Geishawhelk Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 There's a guy on this forum who works under the same roof, and in the same building as his ex. He manages it, very well. What you do, is make like the person isn't even in the room. Avert your eyes, and pretend they're invisible. They don't exist. Don't even reply if they talk to you. Don't even say a word if they stand right up infront of you and talk in your face. you turn around and walk away. Once, should get the message over. That's how you do it.
SarahT111 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 I think in a way if you do that it does show your not over them.. Im not sure how your relationship ended and who dumped who etc, but I would try and be the bigger person in the situation. Dont go up and talk to you ex, but if she talkes to you atleast answer. Be polite but not friendly and excuse your self. NEVER request information from her. If you flat out ignore her exsistance and refuse to speak to her if she speaks to you it speaks volumes that you are bitter and not over her. If you act casually and dont make it obvious your ignoring her, then you look like your over her and couldnt care less. Nothing is more obvious to me than someone who is trying to ignore their ex and act as fakely happy and overboard. It just lets them see you not over them. I was suggest being the bigger person here but again im not sure how you guys broke up so I could be wrong here.
Meaplus3 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 By all means don't avoid meetings that are helpful to you just because of your x. I would simply just ignore her. If shes approaches you simply walk away. Might be tough.. but well worth it to get past the relationship. Keep up the good work and stay strong. Mea:)
Author hereandnow Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks so much for the replies everyone. Here's some more information about our relationship: I'm 27, she's 33, it was my first real relationship, we were together a little over 6 months, moved fast, went on trips, she met my family, etc. She had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship 3 months before we started dating which worried me at first. It ended "well" 2 months ago, no big fight or anything. She said she needed a "break," wanted to feel her freedom, she couldn't say whether we would get back together. Then later she said in an e-mail she still feels a strong connection with me, can tell me anything, but she went from loving me romantically to more friendly. I heard about her hanging out with another guy after about 3 weeks and I saw them together this weekend. Not really sure what their relationship is, don't really want to know. I know she really does care a lot about me as I still do her, she's told a friend post-breakup that what we had was good, and I know she was feeling guilty about breaking my heart. When we have talked in the past month I've kept it friendly and light, last thing I want is her thinking she broke me. Good news is I still managed a 4.0 my first semester at the university. I had quit my job to start a pre-med course load. So there's the rest of the story, tried to keep it short. More replies and support on the topic of my NC or anything else are extremely appreciated, it really helps. Up to this point we've continued "catching up" with each other, which I am now realizing is not helping me at all. Anyway, just woke up. Day 3 NC.
Author hereandnow Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 All right. So I leave out this morning and am flying back to my hometown for Christmas. I'm taking my computer with me though, so I can keep up with all of ya'll. I'll be coming back Friday so I should have a solid week of NC on my return. If she texts or calls on Christmas, I'll probably text her back a "Merry Christmas." I mean, it is Christmas. I'm not gonna act like Scrooge or anything, but I'm not going to initiate contact either. More support is greatly appreciated!
TeaAbraham Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 I have been thinking what to do if I run into my ex too. You shouldn't let her stop you from going to these meetings which are so important for you. I was thinking ignoring would be the best. Or perhaps acknowledging but not speaking. I think it depends greatly on the situation and how things ended. I would personally ignore her and if she came up to me and talked to me I would give her the benefit of the doubt and say she must have some really good reason for talking to me granted what she's done to me. But she's a cheater who ran away with my best friend. It really depends on your situation. Good luck NC
Author hereandnow Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 Well, here I am at my parent's house. Funny, you would being out of town might make you feel better, but for a while there I was feeling worse emotionally. Feel all right now though. Anyway, as far as running into my ex at these meetings, I really don't think it will be that bad. The harder part is trying to keep myself from going to meetings where I know she will be. Right now that's not a big deal but once I get a little farther into NC I may start getting a little edgy!
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