chris250 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I just noticed something about myself. There is this one girl that has been calling me like at least every other day ever since I gave her my phone number. I've been very busy and that was the reason I gave her for not getting back to her promptly. I don't return her calls for 2 days. Now I've come to the awareness that I'm just not into this girl and I've been using my busy schedule as an excuse not to call her back in a reasonable time period. I wasn't even consciously aware that I was just making excuses for my low interest level. I've made excuses for women who just were not into me and now I'm making excuses for myself. When a woman has said she's busy I bought it. When I say I'm busy I buy that too but I'm really lying to myself. Do you think it's possible to have low interest level in someone and not know it because you are too busy convincing yourself that you are just too busy to talk to that person?
carhill Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Stop analyzing yourself and just tell her you're not feeling it. Here's a superb example of how to get the message across: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1965877&postcount=1
Lovelybird Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 If you are interested in a person, you would love to stay close to her as possible as you can. This is a quite good metre to measure your interest. If you are still confused, did you try to ask God? sometimes I would meet a man trigue some romantic feelings in me, I would ask God if this man isn't His plan for me, then please let the romantic glasses disappear, amazingly that romantic feelings gone, very short lived, only friendship left. BUT if there is one that stay in heart, no matter how you pray, the feeling for that one still stay there and keep stronger, then probably this is the one that God planed for you. "if you are delight in God, God will give you desire of your heart", God is awesome !
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Do you think it's possible to have low interest level in someone and not know it because you are too busy convincing yourself that you are just too busy to talk to that person? No.. I think that when someone is NOT interested.. he/she knows it.. When someone is really into someone else.. busy or not.. he/she's on your mind. plus not know it because you are too busy convincing yourself that you are just too busy to talk to that person how can you 'NOT KNOW IT' if you're convincing yourself that you're just too busy to talk to that person..
Author chris250 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 If you are interested in a person, you would love to stay close to her as possible as you can. This is a quite good metre to measure your interest. If you are still confused, did you try to ask God? sometimes I would meet a man trigue some romantic feelings in me, I would ask God if this man isn't His plan for me, then please let the romantic glasses disappear, amazingly that romantic feelings gone, very short lived, only friendship left. BUT if there is one that stay in heart, no matter how you pray, the feeling for that one still stay there and keep stronger, then probably this is the one that God planed for you. "if you are delight in God, God will give you desire of your heart", God is awesome ! I'm not sure that prayer always works because I'm talking to another girl who prayed similarly like you did. She prayed for God to show her if I'm someone she should be with. She said that ever since that prayer her feelings for me have grown stronger and she feels more inclined to hang on to me. Right now I'm single. I have 3 potential dating prospects right now. The 1st girl is the one I wrote in a previous thread that I have a crush on. The 2nd girl is the one I talked about in my OP. The one who calls every other day and that I have low interest in. The 3rd girl is the one who prayed something similar to what you prayed. I have some romantic interest and feelings for her but they're not nearly as strong as she claims to have for me. We've talked for about 3 months on the phone. We've had 3 meetings in that time. So I don't know about prayer. The 1st girl has friend-zoned me. I'm nearly about to friend-zone the 2nd girl. The 3rd girl has potential but my feelings are not as strong as hers. I think that could be a good thing as this will keep me from being too needy. Her interest level in me is about 90% and mine is about 65%. The 3rd girl calls everyday and we're on the phone for like 2-3 hours. The lower my interest level the more natural it is for me to act like a man.
Lovelybird Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I've tested The spirit many times, He is accurate One major way to test The spirit is to see what fruits are growing
Author chris250 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 I've tested The spirit many times, He is accurate I guess what I meant is that I'm not sure if God is really interested in answering these kind of prayers. I don't know if He has the same interest in our love lives as we do.
Lovelybird Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I guess what I meant is that I'm not sure if God is really interested in answering these kind of prayers. I don't know if He has the same interest in our love lives as we do. That was what I thought, but God really cares about our personal lives Just we cannot see how HE cares sometimes God isn't indifferent. HE wants his kids being joyful, and meet their needs. But His kids have to do things in God's way, right way ( this can be very tough for us sometimes--feel like flesh wants to scream?--but result is good) Human love is only one small part of God's love, God won't forbit romantic love, But He wants all of his kids grow in godly love, how romantic God is
Gremio Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I firmly believe you are never too busy. That is always, without a doubt a sign of non interest. People have even a single minute to send a text, to open their cell and call you, etc. If they can talk to their own friends and family, they can talk to you.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 convince yourself? If not interested in someone then I notice that I dont make much effort into calling them back, or hanging out with them. I might just like them as a friend but thats pretty much it. but if you dont like her, then tell her.. soon shes going to get the hint and stop calling, but save her the time and tell her now.
movingonandon Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I just noticed something about myself. There is this one girl that has been calling me like at least every other day ever since I gave her my phone number. I've been very busy and that was the reason I gave her for not getting back to her promptly. I don't return her calls for 2 days. Now I've come to the awareness that I'm just not into this girl and I've been using my busy schedule as an excuse not to call her back in a reasonable time period. I wasn't even consciously aware that I was just making excuses for my low interest level. I've made excuses for women who just were not into me and now I'm making excuses for myself. When a woman has said she's busy I bought it. When I say I'm busy I buy that too but I'm really lying to myself. Do you think it's possible to have low interest level in someone and not know it because you are too busy convincing yourself that you are just too busy to talk to that person? I think that it is perfeclty fine to have moderate interest in somebody. Why do you sweat it? If you can see hanging out/having sex with her without it feeling as a chore, wby the quilt, just go for it.
Author chris250 Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Well I dumped both women yesterday. The girl that I had mediocre interest in and the other girl that I have low interest level in. Actually I knew my interest level was never really that high for either one of them because I was usually lazy about returning their phone calls and I would rarely initiate calls. That right there is a red flag. If I'm lazy about returning a woman's calls then I'm just not into her even though I may not be consciously aware of it at that time. I may try to justify my laziness by telling myself I don't have time to call back or that I'm too busy. For awhile I did justify it that way. Now I'm confused. I have mixed emotions. I'm dealing with guilt and part of me regrets dropping them but if my interest level is not enthusiastic then what can I do? I feel guilty because one of them is hurt that I don't want a relationship. I feel guilty that I don't have a higher interest level in the girls who have high interest levels in me. The thing is neither of these girls have done anything wrong. They would make perfect girlfriends and wives for most guys so why don't I want them as much as they wanted me? How can I increase my interest level in the girls who are good for me and not waste my time chasing after the girls who won't reciprocate interest? I already have mutual friends from girl # 3 telling me that I'm pretty stupid and foolish to not give her a chance. I used to try to figure out how to gain a girl's interest. Now I'm trying to figure out how to gain my own interest level in the girls who are interested in me. I guess there really isn't anything I can do to gain a woman's interest in me and there's nothing I can do to gain my own interest in a girl.
carhill Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I guess there really isn't anything I can do to gain a woman's interest in me and there's nothing I can do to gain my own interest in a girl. The secret of life, Grasshopper Think about that the next time you reach for a glass of water...
flc Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I tend to think it is human nature to want to try and reciprocate when someone likes you. You try to develop interest unless you are totally unattracted to the person to begin with. Sometimes with time you can find that you really do start to develop a deeper interest or love but most times this will not happen. The best way to judge interest is to step back and think about how many times you are thinking about the other person during the day, wondering what they are doing wishing to hear their voice. If the answer to that question is only once or twice or less then your interest level is just not there. I also agree that if someone is interested they want to answer that question of what is the other person doing, thinking and wanting to hear their voice so they will always make time to talk no matter what else they are doing.
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