Vi797 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 I don't know what to do. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years now. I am 21 and he is 34. I have been living with him for 2 years. I feel as though I am loosing my youth, like I am 30. For the past year I have been debating whether this relationship is what I want. I just barely admitted this to my best friend whom I tell everything to, today. I do love him and I can't imagine life without him. Neither of us our rich, he is still a student as well. Lately things have been tense because of money. He also has a very old-fashioned view on things like who should keep the house clean and cook. I am a very modern girl, I am a waitress and am currently in school for my intended major. Lately I have been thinking the only remedy for our problems is to move back in with my mom and just date (can things move backwards?). I am very responsible for my age, but right now I don't want to get married or worry about things. Am I being selfish??? Is this a death sentence to our long relationship??? I don't know what to do, I don't even really know what I want or how I should tell him... He has had quite a few relationships in the past and jumps to conclusions quickly and fears abandonment. He is my first real relationship, I never dated in highschool because I was always too worried about my grades falling below my 4.0 GPA and ofcourse my mom. I have no experience in these things at all and I am so emotionally stunted. What should I do???? Link to post Share on other sites
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 First of all , do not worry . Your conservative boyfriend may just not be as conservative as it seems to you at the moment . Talk to him and tell your fears. Discuss with him all issues peacefully without pressuring , just in jokes and smiles . I have been knowing many guys and girls who have changed their basic views after entering really meaningful for them relationships . This is all about some flexibility which appears even in stubborn individuals when needed Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Am I being selfish??? Is this a death sentence to our long relationship??? Selfish? No. Death sentence? No. What should I do???? 1. Ask him what "we" can do to improve "our" financial situation. Listen. 2. Ask him how "we" can more equitably share household duties as "we" both work and "we" both go to school. Listen. Get back to us with his responses. Lastly, and I say this as a caution and not a judgement.....this man has a lot more life experience than you do and is likely better equipped to manipulate you. This IMO is one of the big risks in large age differences in your age bracket. You would be getting the expanded version if you were my daughter Regardless, life is a learning experience. How you handle this will teach you things. If your instincts say to move back in with mom, don't dismiss them. Take a look at the reasons and emotions behind that thought/instinct. Believe in yourself Work and school will hold you in good stead in life. Take that FWIW from an old fart Link to post Share on other sites
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