TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I seem to run into a lot of girls this way. They suggest going out with you, (movies, drinks, whatever), yet are not very open. As if they don't know what to say... or are nervous about saying something.... There interest is there (action wise), but not verbally. I guess I just noticed this lately.
Gremio Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Well how old are you and these women? These signs show immaturity and insecurity.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 I am 23. Women vary... 22 - early 30s.
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 TheTallOne , I agree with Gremio , this shows immaturity,insecurity and ...maybe simple shyness . Try to date girls whom you are feeling yourself free with , guess,they will also feel free with you , and the date or hanging out will be much more open and pleasant for both of you . Best of luck to you !
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 TheTallOne , I agree with Gremio , this shows immaturity,insecurity and ...maybe simple shyness . Try to date girls whom you are feeling yourself free with , guess,they will also feel free with you , and the date or hanging out will be much more open and pleasant for both of you . Best of luck to you ! Thanks. The dates/outgoings we go on, are a blast. We really have fun. But that is because we are doing something.. not so much talking.
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Thanks. The dates/outgoings we go on, are a blast. We really have fun. But that is because we are doing something.. not so much talking. First of all it has to be fun , and it`s just great you have it
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 First of all it has to be fun , and it`s just great you have it Yeah... but it is hard for me to read them sometimes.
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Yeah... but it is hard for me to read them sometimes. Thats why I told you to date those whom you are feeling yourself free to talk to,and they react same way Many times verbal connections are more important than non verbal ones even if you have fun otherwise . I have experienced that too .Not only on dates . Just meeting people . All are various . The ones I had verbal connection fix and fit with , I would like to meet again , but the ones I was feeling less open myself , I prefer to meet them again next year or maybe later (the next year is too close)
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 OP, if you find this to be a regular occurrence, perhaps seeing it as a mirror might help. What is it about you which attracts this sort of woman or what signals are you sending out which cause them to react this way? Figuring them out will take you 10 lifetimes if you're lucky. Figuring you out...that's possible in one lifetime.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 OP, if you find this to be a regular occurrence, perhaps seeing it as a mirror might help. What is it about you which attracts this sort of woman or what signals are you sending out which cause them to react this way? Figuring them out will take you 10 lifetimes if you're lucky. Figuring you out...that's possible in one lifetime. Good question. I dunno where to start.
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Good question. I dunno where to start. As Carhill told you , it will take too much of time , so better you start something other ,dun waste your time on this,be smarter
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 As Carhill told you , it will take too much of time , so better you start something other ,dun waste your time on this,be smarter He said it would take too much time to figure the girls out... but figuring myself out could be doable.
Benique Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 He said it would take too much time to figure the girls out... but figuring myself out could be doable. I know.I understood exactly so ...and you`d probably like to figure girls out ,and not yourself , so dun waste your time on that
Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 The type of girls you're talking about, doesn't make sense. If a girl is aggressive enough to ask you out, she's not going to be stuck for words. When she initiates conversation with you, do you respond with short sentences or one word answers? To get conversation flowing, it helps if you're both or one of you feels relaxed enough to carry it, until the other person relaxes. If there's initiation, then brief responses, this can easily stymy conversation. Talk about yourself a bit more so she can get a feel of who you are. Once she's got something to work with, she should hopefully be able to open up to you a bit more.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 The type of girls you're talking about, doesn't make sense. If a girl is aggressive enough to ask you out, she's not going to be stuck for words. When she initiates conversation with you, do you respond with short sentences or one word answers? To get conversation flowing, it helps if you're both or one of you feels relaxed enough to carry it, until the other person relaxes. If there's initiation, then brief responses, this can easily stymy conversation. Talk about yourself a bit more so she can get a feel of who you are. Once she's got something to work with, she should hopefully be able to open up to you a bit more. Girls... don't make sense. Depending on the question she asks, it could be short or mildly long.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 She was a little bit better last night (went to a movie, talked on the way to and back). Problem is.... she says she is attracted to me... but thinks that I'll have some problems with her, and won't like her. Sigh. Can I find a girl without serious insecurity issues?
Author TheTallOne Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Ugh. I hate this feeling of not knowing. We talked every day (except for Sunday) since Saturday. Sometimes it was a long conversation of texts, sometimes it just lasted a few. I promised myself I wouldn't get into another situation like this, where the girl is insecure about going out... but is supposedly attracted to you. I did this with my last g/f (we dated 2.5 years, broke up in August), who frustrated the crap out of me for the first couple months because she wasn't open at all. It was like pulling teeth. I see similarities with this girl. Any advice as to what to do? I think let it lie and perhaps run would be the best option. I can't keep puttin my balls in a vice to be squashed over and over again.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 Yup, hos. Hit and run. Hit it? That ain't gonna happen.
Sw3etdev1L Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Don't go out expecting a reaction, or what the reaction might be..Don't be waiting for her to be interested in getting to know you!!!... break the ice!!....if you notice girls are like that with you, maybe you are sending them a signal which says " I am waiting for you to chat about something", instead of.... youuuu starting the conversation and get the best out of that person with her feeling comfy around you. It might be you.
Sw3etdev1L Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Im sorry I didn't read AAAALLL the posts you made....I just answered for the very first one. Well you know what? are you insecure? I mean....if you don't feel chemistry with this girl in a 100%, if you are not at all ok with her reactions and she reminds you in negative ways to your ex...why the hell are you still going out with her? do you like her insecurity? Are you needy? do you HAVE to have a girlfriend right away no matter what?; are you lonesome??...why are you settling down with a girl who doesn't fulfill you?. You have the option of opening yourself to other types of girls, and you are not doing that, you are just deciding for yourself to be with someone you are not entirely happy with just because she told you she is attracted to you...Don't you think there are other girls who might feel attracted to you and who will you will feel happier with? I mean, come on....open your sweet little eyes. Maybe you have to be more confident in yourself and knock on different doors (girls), to see who suits you the best and not get into the same relationship you did last time.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 Im sorry I didn't read AAAALLL the posts you made....I just answered for the very first one. Well you know what? are you insecure? I mean....if you don't feel chemistry with this girl in a 100%, if you are not at all ok with her reactions and she reminds you in negative ways to your ex...why the hell are you still going out with her? do you like her insecurity? Are you needy? do you HAVE to have a girlfriend right away no matter what?; are you lonesome??...why are you settling down with a girl who doesn't fulfill you?. You have the option of opening yourself to other types of girls, and you are not doing that, you are just deciding for yourself to be with someone you are not entirely happy with just because she told you she is attracted to you...Don't you think there are other girls who might feel attracted to you and who will you will feel happier with? I mean, come on....open your sweet little eyes. Maybe you have to be more confident in yourself and knock on different doors (girls), to see who suits you the best and not get into the same relationship you did last time. Well, you have given me some things to think about. lol I guess a 'thank you' is in order.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 Well. I think between her not being open, and me not wanting to continue to stick my balls in a vice everytime just to get information as to how she feels, it is better to be just friends. However, because there is a good deal of chemistry there, I think it would be better if we did go out, that it would be with a group not '1 on 1'. Less pressure, less like a date, etc. I went through a few months of trying to get my ex to open up when we originally dated, and it is very, very emotionally draining. If we were 'meant to be', then it'll work out in the future.
jeanysmith86 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 As a girl, sometime i need more time to feel comfort and showing my interest.
Author TheTallOne Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 As a girl, sometime i need more time to feel comfort and showing my interest. Could you elaborate on that?
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