What has MC done for YOU and your marriage?

[RecordProducer]

I believe that for absolutely any profession (from hair-styling to medicine, to engineering or teaching), you have to have the talent. Beside a good, talented counselor, the couple should also be willing to listen, forgive, put effort, be highly motivated, and have some personality traits that are "marriage material." Finally, the most important element is mutual love.

 

But marital problems are really about major differences in needs, attitudes, and goals. The lack of communication and understanding are just the symptoms. And I think MC focuses on the symptoms, because it's virtually impossible to alter personality traits - the core and initial source of our needs, desires, and values.

 

If there's an imbalance in certain areas, let's say the wife is more intelligent than the man and he feels her resentment, even though these people may be madly in love with each other, the source (the imbalance) will start producing many symptoms which aren't related to the source. E.g. he will withdraw, do his own thing, avoid her friends, pretend he doesn't care about what she has to say if she sounds too bright... this will induce the wife to react in a certain manner... they will start belittling one another, which will lead to hurt feelings, fights, and drifting apart. And it all started because they were born different. These two people might love each other deeply despite of their differences (finally, he might be a better catch because he has better looks, nice manners, a good heart, and hard-working abilities). But nothing can change the wife's need to have an equal partner for a high-level discussion; she will always be intellectually starved. So how would MC help them by focusing on things such as: "stop belittling each other, plan romantic trips, write love notes and refresh the sex life.."?

 

This is just a very plastic example; I picked it because it's easy to understand. Most marital troubles are much more complex. All I was saying is that "accepting your partner the way he/she is" usually means compromising your needs - and since your needs arise from your personality, it means compromising your identity. So, curing the symptoms (meeting your spouse half way) means building resentment toward them. BUT! You (together with your ego - the "bigger" you) will NOT develop any resentment if you know that your partner is also willing to sacrifice for you. The bottom line is: you will make your share of sacrifice and your spouse will, too. The result is: everybody is happy and nobody is happy. And that's what marriages are all about (from what I hear from others).

 

However, I started this thread with one question in mind: how has MC helped YOU and your marriage? Please tell your story. (Don't forget to include the results - if any! )

Thanks.

[Benique]

Thanks for the thread

Indeed its very interesting how some MC (let it be the most professional) may help anyone if this anyone is not ready to help his marriage himself ?

I guess, the best helper in anything , let it be marriage life or work or relationships with friends, is US Ourselves .

If we decide,we need some change for the best , we can do it without any help .

 

________

I personally would get very irritated from any counselling . I love independence and have got always my own ways to solve my problems ,and I succeed once I am ready to it myself .

[RecordProducer]

I think the problem is that most couples resort to MC precisely because they are in very bad terms and each partner pulls to their own side. They go to MC with the goal of being proved right. Otherwise, all the counselor has to do is help them communicate and find a mutual language, as if they don't both speak English at home and as if they didn't express their feelings and needs enough times prior to the MC.

 

The universal goal of every living being on earth is to feel good; thus, the only genuinely functional solution would be to find the common denominator that would make both partners feel equally good. And how is this possible if they have different (opposing) needs and expectations?

 

I think the only two ways for a marriage to be functional are the following:

 

1. each partner gladly agrees to lead their own life and only share the mutual points with each other - this means they are BOTH happy and fulfilled this way, and there is no resentment in any form; or

 

2. both partners are genuinely 100% devoted to each other and nothing else is MORE important, ie. the spouse comes before hobbies, career, extended family, money, friends, etc. - and they both feel and act this way.

 

For these two models, MC is pointless, because the level of devotion is equal. I believe that the general problem in every single (troubled) marriage is that one partner is more devoted than the other. This could be a spouse who has marriage threatening habits, character flaws or attitudes (the less devoted one), a spouse who feels left behind in terms of affection, intimacy, appreciation or attention (the more devoted one), etc.; but it's always about devotion. It's very difficult to develop this kind of mutual devotion naturally - as we do for our children and our parents do for us. We are not motivated sufficiently unless there is a constant adrenaline-boosting factor that repeatedly triggers the rebirth of strong feelings. Hence all the drama in marriages. We prefer to create and respond to challenge than to live happily ever after, because mother nature didn't plan for us to stick to old patterns. Nature wants change, challeneg, evolution, obstacles and surmounting obstacles, finding new solutions...

[Benique]

I think the problem is that most couples resort to MC precisely because they are in very bad terms and each partner pulls to their own side. They go to MC with the goal of being proved right. Otherwise, all the counselor has to do is help them communicate and find a mutual language, as if they don't both speak English at home and as if they didn't express their feelings and needs enough times prior to the MC.

 

The universal goal of every living being on earth is to feel good; thus, the only genuinely functional solution would be to find the common denominator that would make both partners feel equally good. And how is this possible if they have different (opposing) needs and expectations?

 

I think the only two ways for a marriage to be functional are the following:

 

1. each partner gladly agrees to lead their own life and only share the mutual points with each other - this means they are BOTH happy and fulfilled this way, and there is no resentment in any form; or

 

2. both partners are genuinely 100% devoted to each other and nothing else is MORE important, ie. the spouse comes before hobbies, career, extended family, money, friends, etc. - and they both feel and act this way.

 

For these two models, MC is pointless, because the level of devotion is equal. I believe that the general problem in every single (troubled) marriage is that one partner is more devoted than the other. This could be a spouse who has marriage threatening habits, character flaws or attitudes (the less devoted one), a spouse who feels left behind in terms of affection, intimacy, appreciation or attention (the more devoted one), etc.; but it's always about devotion. It's very difficult to develop this kind of mutual devotion naturally - as we do for our children and our parents do for us. We are not motivated sufficiently unless there is a constant adrenaline-boosting factor that repeatedly triggers the rebirth of strong feelings. Hence all the drama in marriages. We prefer to create and respond to challenge than to live happily ever after, because mother nature didn't plan for us to stick to old patterns. Nature wants change, challeneg, evolution, obstacles and surmounting obstacles, finding new solutions...

 

 

 

Brilliantly said !

[Tony T]

I have been told by many of my friends who are professional counselors that marriage counseling is most of divorce counseling. By the time the two people decide to go to counseling, the greater number of times the marriage has irretrievably ended. It's very said it happens that way. Most people don't know how to be married, how to manage their emotions with the other person and especially how to communicate. Generally one or the other simply shuts down once they see that trying to work things out between them will not work. Once one or the other, most of the time the female, shuts down then he or she pulls back and begins the mental process of dis bonding and moving on emotionally. All that's left then is the act of divorce.

 

I think people ought to go to counseling before they get married and periodically during their marriage NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY PERCEIVE EVERYTHING IS FINE! Oddly, in so many divorce situations one person didn't have any idea there was a problem....DUH!

[carhill]

Survive or fail, MC made our M more "real". Clarity, even in the spectre of divorce, can be a heartening thing. No experience is without its lesson in life.

 

I agree with Tony that MC serves its purpose best while the love is still there and before the marriage becomes irretrievably bad.

 

Without MC, I would have never found LS, which has become adjunct therapy. Win-win

[RecordProducer]

Maybe it's just me and my idealistic expectations from every relationship. Unfortunately, I can't fall in love with someone who is equally willing to be devoted to me as I am/would be to him. Darn Mother Nature and its gene-pool agenda!

 

I guess we prefer to do the puzzle to read the solution to the puzle?

[annieo]

My h and I went for a few sessions after h lied about some strip club stuff (found out he lied more than a few times). I can't say that it solved all our problems, but it gave us some perspective.

I realized that a lot of people go through much bigger betrayals and survive, and my h realized that he better smarten up and start being honest, or he didn't deserve to be with me.

Doesn't hurt to get an objective, third person point of view sometimes.

[Lishy]

RP, what is happening with you at the moment? The last I heard you were getting divorced but he wouldnt let you move out

 

Are you in MC?

[RecordProducer]

My h and I went for a few sessions after h lied about some strip club stuff (found out he lied more than a few times). I can't say that it solved all our problems, but it gave us some perspective.

I realized that a lot of people go through much bigger betrayals and survive, and my h realized that he better smarten up and start being honest, or he didn't deserve to be with me.

Doesn't hurt to get an objective, third person point of view sometimes.

So it was basically one-sided in your favor? Did you have any issues other than the lies about the stip club? If yes, were they resolved too?

 

RP, what is happening with you at the moment? The last I heard you were getting divorced but he wouldnt let you move out. Are you in MC?

No, we are constantly up and down. We are at a point where we both know we are in love with each other, but can't see eye to eye. It seems like he is getting to a point where he knows he doesn't want to lose me. This is probably because I am at a point where I feel that losing him is better than losing my sanity. We recently had lots of drama going on and I am very tired. Things kinda got out of control and I felt like I was falling apart. I don't know what we are going to do and how things will unfold in the future. I am very scared of getting hurt again. He does seem very motivated to make things work though and that's good. I stopped drinking so I can control my feelings. Regarding separation, I would like to chill out for a while and develop the habits of showing self-respect, loving and taking care of myself. But I don't think he will let me slip away. And when I say "let me," I don't mean that he'll lock me in the house; I mean he'll find a way to my heart - and this is what I am afraid of.

 

No, neither of us really wants MC. I don't because I don't feel like going through the same laundry for the nth time just to realize that the counselor sucks ; but most of all, I don't want a third party to tell him what to do and to tell him I am right (or God forbid that HE is right! ) - I want HIM to decide voluntarily that he wants to be devoted to me, to make me happy, to respect my feelings, and to treat me as equal to him regarding every decision in our marriage. I want him to come independelntly to the realization that this is the only way of helping me to make him happy, to make our marriage happy. Unfortunately, as Dustin Hoffman said "The only way for a marriage to be functional is if the man is scared sh*tless of his wife," most husbands are good only because they're scared to lose their wives (in the best case) or their kids and money (in the worst case). It's just so sad that e have to fight for the things that we believed should be given - or at least that's what fairy tales taught us.

[Lishy]

I really do believe that the only marriages that last are the ones where the husband is pussy whipped and does what he is told, Seriously!

 

I am sad for you RP, this man will never make you happy, I just wonder how long you will remain together before you realise you will be so much happier apart?

 

You deserve gold RP, you are a lovely lady!

[Walk]

Great thread RP. Its insightful.

 

I went to MC with my exH. it's kind of a long story though... short version is he finally figured out that I was dead serious about being unhappy and I was going to leave him. But it was like you were saying above... our personalities, who we were as individuals, we were so different that meeting in the middle meant both of us were unhappy. So someone always felt resentful (usually me).

 

I only went because I hoped it would help my exh come to terms with me ending the marriage. I thought it would help him adjust to the change better. All it did was make me angrier. Hearing my ex tell the counselor that it wasn't his fault he was a self-absorbed a-hole because his parents were the same way. Every session was about my ex and his issues. My ex swore he would put more effort into listening to what I needed from him, and yet everything was still about the ex. His issues, his childhood. I just sat there... those two talking while I sat there for 45 minutes staring at the clock on the wall..

 

It did help me understand that although the marriage could've been bandaged back together, that **I** didn't want to work to make it better. I was over it. I wanted out. It would've taken a decade for us to make enough progress where I could be relatively content in the relationship, and I didn't feel his ... uh... dedication to resolving the issues would last past the point where he felt sure I wasn't going to immediately leave. I was convinced that after a couple months, I'd still be busting ass to make things work while he would revert back to his self-absorbed ways.

 

I hated MC. I wouldn't do it again. I think it could help some people and it shouldn't be tossed out as a viable alternative, but for me... I would chalk it up there with seeing a witch doctor for a tumor. It might be amusing briefly, but you're still going to die.

[RecordProducer]

I really do believe that the only marriages that last are the ones where the husband is pussy whipped and does what he is told, Seriously!

Haha! That really made me laugh.

 

I am sad for you RP, this man will never make you happy, I just wonder how long you will remain together before you realise you will be so much happier apart?

Honestly, at this moment I don't know if he can or he can;t, but my standards are set on high and I won't settle for less. We will either both be happy together or we'll be apart.

 

You deserve gold RP, you are a lovely lady!

Aww, thank you, Lishy. Well, I have my own issues and sometimes I set too high and "fixed" expectations. I can be bad when I am angry and disappointed, and that doesn't help. I am willing to shower my partner with affection and love, but I also expect the same. And this is not necessarily the only model for happiness.

 

Walk, I will reply to your post after we come back from dinner.

[Walk]

You deserve gold RP, you are a lovely lady!

You ever hear RP sing? Man... she does deserve gold. Got a voice I'd die for.

[carhill]

I'm curious, as so few posters identify it, how many here who have been through MC have seen a clinical psychologist for it?

 

Reading, I can truly empathize with those who are in love with someone who is incompatible and unchanging. It must be like a prison. Sorry it appears that someone is mostly male.

 

It would be nice to hear from some of the other male posters who have been through MC to get their perspectives. I found it valuable enough to spend some of my retirement savings on it. It was my wife who finally had her fill after about a year. We get along a lot better now but I just don't love her anymore. Never thought I could say that about a woman, as I've been with so few in LTR's. I don't hate her; rather it's more like a flat line (indifference).

 

On the positive side, I don't hate women in general and still enjoy their friendship. So, in that regard, I think MC helped me retain my perspective that my specific experiences aren't indicative of my potential experiences.

 

With that, I'll leave you ladies to your chatting

[angie2443]

Many counselors who provide MC are not trained in MC counseling. Methods used in MC are often not methods studied on a large number of couples to see if they actually work. This is one reason why MC often fails. All I can say is, for those thinking about MC, choose a counselor who is actually trained in MC and choose one who has an actual plan to put the marriage back on track. Talking about problems over and over often doesn't work. Couples (and people in general) most often have a hard time seing the other person's side because they want what they want and they don't want to give it up. Trying to see the other person's side is useless. Sooner or later a couple has to learn to comprimise or the marriage is going to fall apart. If all MC does is try to get the couple to see eye to eye, IMO, it will most likely fail.

[angie2443]

I only went because I hoped it would help my exh come to terms with me ending the marriage. I thought it would help him adjust to the change better. All it did was make me angrier. Hearing my ex tell the counselor that it wasn't his fault he was a self-absorbed a-hole because his parents were the same way. Every session was about my ex and his issues. My ex swore he would put more effort into listening to what I needed from him, and yet everything was still about the ex. His issues, his childhood. I just sat there... those two talking while I sat there for 45 minutes staring at the clock on the wall..

 

This is why I think most MC is a bunch of bull----. From what I've seen and heard, there is a lot of time wasted on talking about problems over and over again or going into the backgrounds of the couple involved over and over again. No action is taken to teach the couple how to work a relationship or work through problems.

 

My husband and I went to MC and the couselor was wise and fair. She would have been a great IC for someone trying to figure out who they were or why they were feeling the way they were. Unfortuneatly, she was a horrible MC. We went round and round in the sessions trying to make the other understand our position and it just ended up bieng a torture chamber that I couldn't take anymore. In the end, we worked through most of our problems by just understanding we had to comprimise. They need to explain to people before they get married what it takes to make a marriage work. This way, more people would be able to avoid marriage if the comprimises needed to make a marriage work were too much for them.

[quankanne]

didn't go through marriage counseling but to a church-sponsored marriage enrichment program that taught us how to better communicate with each other, which is a huge part of keeping a relationship alive, be it marriage or friendship ... the focus was not so much "well, you have X problem" but rather "here's how you can work past problems in situations." No finger-pointing involved though there was self-evaluation so that you could recognize what you needed to do and how you could do it to make your marriage stronger.

 

and I think this very much falls in line with what another poster said: People need to have these kinds of "tune-ups" for their relationship even when they feel all is well. Because sometimes it's easy to overlook or ignore problem areas that can blow up into huge issues.

[LovieDove24]

I really want to discuss this snippet of your first post RP that caught my attention. I have never been married but indeed have a child and have been now wondering this now since her birth...

 

it's always about devotion. It's very difficult to develop this kind of mutual devotion naturally - as we do for our children and our parents do for us

 

If everyone put half as much effort into all their relationships as they do to their children, this world would be a rockin place. Seriously. My daughter is only 6 months old right now so all it is is a giving game. I hold her, feed her, bathe her, change her, sing to her, kiss her...all of that. And somehow my love is never depleted. All of my time alone with my daughter and without a man, has really left me to contemplate relationships. Why is it that we cannot treat all people so lovingly? I truly believe that what you put in is what you get in return. If not now, eventually. Some day my daughter will cradle me when I am really down....

 

But I have asked this on another post of mine. Is the only reason why many marriages fail because of an unwillingness to try?? Or a lack of devotion as RP puts it?? Since I cannot speak from experience (never been married) I really would like to know.

 

What is it thats so different between the love of a parent and child than the love between so adults that allows us to just give up?

[RecordProducer]

You ever hear RP sing? Man... she does deserve gold. Got a voice I'd die for.

Aww, thanks, you're sweet. Walk, I basically wanted to tell you thank you for reminding me what creeps most therapists are. I went to one three times and quit cuz he was no good, I've heard horror stories about counselors taking sides, and finally, I've met people who chose psychology and I always wondered why on earth, cuz they were so not cut for it. Angie's experience confirms the same conclusion.

 

Reading, I can truly empathize with those who are in love with someone who is incompatible and unchanging. It must be like a prison. Sorry it appears that someone is mostly male.

You're funny! If people are incompatible, it refers to both of them. They both suffer. Depends on how you define incompatibility; attraction comes from differences (stupid nature and her variety-of-genes agenda! ) and these differences create disagreements. If you like jazz and eat salad but you marry someone who likes country and eats meat, you won't have a good time eating the same thing and listening to the same music. In the same way, e.g. when someone is very sensitive and the other one is tough, the result is breaking dishes and screaming "You insensitive jerk! How could you do that to me?! Don't you walk away from me when I am telling you how much you hurt me!" But we don't fall for those who are just like us - no challenge. Nature doesn't care that we suffer, she wants her super-combo of sensitive enough to care for the offsprings but tough enough to provide for the family and deal with obstacles. Male or female, it doesn't matter, the genes spread in both directions. Hence the major "exchange of pants and skirts" in the past hundred years.

 

We get along a lot better now but I just don't love her anymore.

Can you please elaborate on this? Why do you think you stopped loving her? Is it the love or the atraction that ceased to exist?

 

If everyone put half as much effort into all their relationships as they do to their children, this world would be a rockin place. Seriously.

Seriously... it wouldn't work. It's like saying that if everyone worked for a $15K salary as hard as those who work for $250K, this world would be great. Yes, but YOU go work 80 hours a week for $15K, cuz I won't!

 

The thing is, it wouldn't work. Some people DO give and give and give... and get nothing in return. They get crumbs of appreciation for their effort. People are not attracted to someone who always gives. Asked in theoretical terms, each one of us will claim that we want someone wonderful, but for some reason, when this wonderful man or woman appears, we discard them as spineless and boring, too predictable. Men tend to marry these guardian-women to take care of them, their kids, and the house, but they are miserable with them and end up cheating.

 

Do you know why siblings beat the crap out of each other? Not because they have character flaws, but because they practice for their enemies. At least this is what scientists say about cubs wrestling. Our survival and reproductive instincts are very aggressive; in order to enable progressive evolution, we must find or create volatile conditions and fight. We are supposed to wipe out the weak ones and give up space for the strong ones. And we show strength through aggressiveness - power. Anything from plastic surgery, to money, to prestige, to sex drive is demonstrating power over others.

 

Your love for your child is your love for yourself. She is nothing but your extension. We are not meant to give and care for our reproductive partners; we are supposed to seduce them and conquer them. If they give in without us challenging them, we don't need them; if we give in without them challenging us, they don't need us. The attraction between a man and a woman is antagonistic in its nature. We don't volunteer instinctively to share our space with them. Sharing space in this case could be any sacrifice from cooking or cleaning for them to spending money, time, (sexual, emotional) energy or nerves on them. And the compromise occurs as an effect of balancing strengths: when two people are equally strong, they are forced to share the same space, because no one over-powered the other one. And sometimes we walk away to re-gain our space and power over our lives, because we've lost the battle.

 

This natural law has enabled us to survive for thousands of years. Just like the weak and sick ones died off and left space for the strong and healthy genes. But medicine has enabled the weak ones to survive, too. And in the past few decades, therapists want to tell the alpha male (or anyone else) that he has to give up his space without a fight. Won't work.

[alphamale]

However, I started this thread with one question in mind: how has MC helped YOU and your marriage? Please tell your story. (Don't forget to include the results - if any! )

Thanks.

what's MC???

[RecordProducer]

what's MC???

Are you joking? Cuz any LS vet knows what MC is. MC/NC is this forum's electric advice power!

[carhill]

If alpha ain't bein' funny, MC is marriage counseling.

 

Can you please elaborate on this? Why do you think you stopped loving her? Is it the love or the attraction that ceased to exist?

She distanced herself long enough and far enough during my mother's illness that all my reaching out did no good. After a couple years of that, my love just started to die. As I told the MC, it died one day at a time. I felt she stopped believing in me. You might have seen posts by me where I railed against her prioritizing her girlfriends ahead of our marriage. This went on for a long time. For me, attraction flows from emotional intimacy and, with a dearth of that, attraction died. I decided to give MC and a new perspective a year of effort and time and see where we were at that point. That's where I'm at now, at the decision point.

 

The best description of our incompatibility was provided by my wife, in MC, where she expressed the wish that I was a "normal guy". I agreed that such normality would make her life far easier, but, as the MC pointed out, it would rob me of the essence of who I am. Behaviors are changeable, and I've found satisfaction in that work, but personality is essentially fixed and immutable. I will never be "normal" to her.

 

Our dynamic is where I came up with the descriptor I often use on LS regarding the person who cares the least having the most control. The disparity of our emotional styles, accurately assessed by the MC, is at the core of our incompatibility. The key, for me, is recognizing them as different, rather than right and wrong. Accepting differences, even in global terms, changed how I viewed her and the marriage. If, as Tony mentioned upthread, this had occurred earlier, while the love was still there, we'd likely be well on our way to recovery.

 

As I said before upthread, the gift of MC for me has been clarity. Even in a world I now perceive more as gray, I see myself, her, and our relationship more clearly than I ever did prior. From that clarity flows acceptance; acceptance of my and her imperfections, similarities and differences. This dynamic allows me to clearly identify my boundaries and better respect hers. We still have our moments of talking "at" each other and I still tend to ramble on like I'm doing here, but I now clearly see those behaviors and can consciously make changes and/or take responsibility. Communication- talking "at" her and listening inadequately and incompletely, underscored our different energy and emotional styles and my responsibility in the damage to and failure of the relationship. I was never a "yeller" but I was a "debater" and did so mercilessly. As some men wield their fists, I wield my intellect. Both are equally damaging.

 

The clarity MC brought has also given me back my sense of humor, something which departed me during the dark years of my mom's illness.

 

When I thanked our psychologist near the end of our period of sessions, it was for all the relationship tools he had provided us and for challenging me intellectually, which is what I needed to learn and grow.

 

Well, you asked

[RecordProducer]

Well, you asked

... and thank you for providing such an extensive response. I still wonder why you stopped loving your wife (and if you ever did). Your explanation that she distanced herself and has a different emotional style somehow doesn't satisfy me.

[imagine]

I think the problem is that most couples resort to MC precisely because they are in very bad terms and each partner pulls to their own side. They go to MC with the goal of being proved right.

I found this to be true in my own experience.

My W tended to use MC as a stick. Our MC (our church pastor) was not comfortable with this and redirected us to see our purpose as married unit.

 

The universal goal of every living being on earth is to feel good; thus, the only genuinely functional solution would be to find the common denominator that would make both partners feel equally good. And how is this possible if they have different (opposing) needs and expectations?

Feeling good also needs to factor in "delayed gratification". Equality of benefit is unrealistic - anywhere, but it should be win-win.

 

Needs change and expectations are compromised.

 

1. each partner gladly agrees to lead their own life and only share the mutual points with each other - this means they are BOTH happy and fulfilled this way, and there is no resentment in any form; or

I think that this is a recipe to wean away from each other. Marriage by definition is about shared lives. My qualification to speak here is that this very concept proved to be my failure.

 

2. both partners are genuinely 100% devoted to each other and nothing else is MORE important, ie. the spouse comes before hobbies, career, extended family, money, friends, etc. - and they both feel and act this way.

Now this I agree with.

 

 

For these two models, MC is pointless, because the level of devotion is equal.

I contend this point.

Two people can fawn over each other in an attempt to maintain intimacy. They can be dishonest with themselves in order to achieve this. Pressure builds until... boom!

 

This is where healthy conflict is essential.

Occasionally walls of distrust have been built and therefore requires a COMPETENT MC to referee the negotiations.

 

This is what I have learned from MC (and I include these forums as counseling):

That my wife is and always will be my best friend -this is my choice!

I have my wife's back and she -mine.

There are needs that we shall never meet of each other but there are many, many more that we shall meet. I actively look to improve things.

 

We had a few crappy years. There are still down moments. But what a continual pleasure to experience her excitement in my presence.

 

Her words this morning: "You are a wonderful husband - and I love you very much" (C'mon, this is so corny I can't be making it up!)