smiiiley Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I feel like I have reached my breaking point... I truly am sick and tired of being depressed..my depression is hurting me extremely...esp. because i remember how good it felt to BE HAPPY or at least content and enjoy life... My ex left me in August and I can honestly say it has got me completely ruined.. Parties, movies, dinners, dates, family & friends, school--but i cant shake this feeling... So I stopped doing all those things besides school and hangin out with friends & family..because they weren't helping and i felt like i was only "pretending"..then when i came home i would just burst out in tears.. I go through crazy intense feelings... I'm calm, then i pretend or attempt to feel ok and try to be like 'he is just a guy, i'll find better"...then i go to breaking down and crying...then after that i feel numb and dont wanna talk to anybody (depressed)...then i feel sooo angry for the pain im feeling.... these may sound like words on a keyboard but they are literally destroying me... i miss him soooo much, i just want to call him and talk to him...i dont even care anymore bout us getting back...I JUST WANT HIM IN MY LIFE!!!! It is driving me insane because i really want to call him...please help me before i go insane
dns502475 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm not trying to "toot my own horn" here or anything, but I've written a few posts here that some people say have really helped them. "How to Get Over Your Ex...Quickly" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t171834/ "Controlling Your Thoughts and Emotions" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t171941/ "Overcoming feelings of rejection" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t171945/ "Getting to the point of WANTING to get over your ex" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t171930/ "To anyone here hurting...you'll be okay...really" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t173287/ Take a look at a few of them, and see if they help you out at all.
californiadreaming Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Look, I am not shy to say what I think about any of this break up stuff. I say call him. It has been 4 months since you all have had any contact, and you are still crying. You obviously love him. I see that you didn't explain what happen to cause the break up, or who broke up with who. But I say call and see if you 2 can talk. Alot of what I get here is once you break up thats it. And, I honestly don't feel that that is always true. I have seen many people break up and get back together, get married, and have children, happy, living their lives. I think that people have to grow, PERIOD. from that point on once each others pain is healed, you should be able to talk it out, and compromise on making a better future for you and your lover. If you two cannot work it out for whatever reason, then you move on. - The main thing is everyone has a different situation, and you know your situation better then anyone else. If you think that calling him won't get you anywhere son't call. If you feel it might help, and you are ready. Do it up. "Love is Love"
Dmoney28 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I understand the pain you are goimg through. It hurts. I myself never knew emotional pain like this was even possible. And i know everyone says that the pain will go away in time...and it does. You just got to work through it. Like cali said, maybe you should contact him. Talk with him. At this point you really dont have much to loose.
Author smiiiley Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Hey guys. Thank you so much for your replies... The problem is that I'm not sure by me calling him, if he would even pick up or act cold...we kept in touch regularly for the past 3 months...Then I decided to not call because it was always the same thing...at first he was 'confused" and needed time..then he just "fell out of love"...ok you know when someone you love tells you that you're screwed..and NEED TO MOVE ON!! I get that...But at the time we would hang out and then end up cuddling, kissing and everything...I would call him crying and telling him i loved him ( i was really going through a hard time and wanted him back)...he was nice untill one day he was just sooo cold and distant...i stopped calling him.. the one day he texted me and we talked for a little......Howveer right now I just miss HIM...like i know were not going to get back but i miss talking to him...it has been 4 months and im still torn up about it......i dont even know what to do with myself anymore......i know "toughen up" but the pain is undescribable...i feel like if i call him and try to be his friend, i feel like im putting myself down..........but on the other side i hope that maybe he is still that sweet person i used to know.....i dont know WHO is going to be on the other side of the phoen if i call....the guy i knew or some as*hole he turned into???? After my story...what would you suggest??
Knight_Ctrl Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I might be going against the grain here, but do not call him. You've gone this long without calling him and he may even be glad to hear from you when you do contact him. I recently called my ex and we had a fantastic conversation, she was dying to talk to me and all of that. The next day I find out she is dating one of my ex friends. They pain you might discover from contacting this person isn't worth the chance that you might just be able to be friends or anything like that. Read DNS posts, I'm tooting his horn for him, they've helped me and are continuing to help me. Stay strong, everyone.
californiadreaming Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Now that you have explained this, I think that calling him might not be the best solution. From what it sounds like this guy is still very immature, and probably will see in the future that he lost a good woman, or he might just be too young to realize a good thing, and that is it. So, do not call him, and do whatever you need to do to move on with YOUR life. Forget 'guys' right now, and just do what you have to do to better yourself. The right guy will come when you least expect it. I know its all harder then me typing it, and say do it. But you can be strong. Good luck-
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I think you need to exhaust the subject. There is a great tendency to repress what you feel as you mention - when you go out and feel you are pretending. Actually this pretending is positive. A kind of, 'you have to fake it to make it' sort of thing. But you still need to confront the feelings. There is also a tendency to become frustrated and disapointed that you aren't coping as well as you think you should. If you have any kind of expressive creativity - USE IT. Do you paint, draw, write, sing, play an instrument, dance? Every time you feel bad EXPRESS. I used to take a diary to work and when the feelings hit me I would stop and write in the diary. It would make me feel better. Self-expression is so helpful. Find an outlet and keep using that outlet!
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