blind_otter Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 S/O and I had a big row this morning regarding our son's schedule. I feel that it is necessary to stick to it, he thinks that it's no big deal to let him stay up until 10:30pm (normal bedtime is around 7:30).... I get that every child is different. From what I've observed, my son needs his bedtime. If he doesn't get enough sleep he is cranky and restless through the whole night and guess who has to deal with him? Me. That's just how it is because I'm breastfeeding and I don't want to skip night feedings yet. And then the next day my son is on edge all day because he didn't get enough sleep the day before. I think S/O is just not as in tune with the baby as I am because I'm around the baby all day. Am I being too rigid? I just think older children can handle schedule disruptions, but infants need a tighter schedule. Help!
porter218 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 The only way that works is if you allow for him to sleep 3 hrs later the next morning and readjust his schedule accordingly. If he is still cranky after that, then he just simply needs to stick to his bedtime as planned.
quankanne Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 no, you're not. Remember, you're not just setting his schedule for infancy, but for when he's older and needs the discipline because he's now starting school. My sister put her boys down for bed about 8-8:30 p.m. ever since they were old enough to start sleeping through the night, and the transition when they started daycare, then school, was really smooth. if SO wants to do that with Baby Otter, tell him that it's okay to do that occasionally, but not every damned night. Otherwise the baby's internal clock – which is accustomed to a particular schedule – is screwed up. besides, when he's older, Baby Otter will think that staying up past bedtime is a real treat, and you can use it as a bargaining tool
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Trust me - you really want to stick to a schedule. I didn't, and for years now bedtime and getting up time are often a nightmare.
Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Most of my friends have children. The ones who stuck to schedules and routines, have the least amount of hassle with their children. It doesn't mean they weren't flexible some of the time. The ones who didn't stick to schedules and routines have had difficulty throughout and are finding it worse now, with a few of the kids hitting preteen and early teen. I will say that 7:30 is pretty early and 10:30 is too late. What time do you want him to get up in the morning? Dawn?
Author blind_otter Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 The only way that works is if you allow for him to sleep 3 hrs later the next morning and readjust his schedule accordingly. If he is still cranky after that, then he just simply needs to stick to his bedtime as planned. Unfortunately he wakes up around 7am regardless of when I put him to bed, be it 10pm or 7pm. So bedtime it must be. He doesn't like to sleep late, never has, even in the womb! I will say that 7:30 is pretty early and 10:30 is too late. What time do you want him to get up in the morning? Dawn? Most infants sleep about 12 hours during nighttime. At 5 months or so, most infants sleep a total of 16 hours through the course of 24 hours - about 4-5 hours during the day and 11-12 hours at night. The last few days he has been completely off his normal schedule and it has been a complete nightmare of hellishness. I just want to scream in frustration. Prior to this he has gone to bed around 7:30pm and wakes up around 7am. Last night I was able to get him to sleep around his normal bedtime, which was great. But then, this morning I had to attend my bestfriend's mother's funeral and I left the baby with S/O, who was not able to put him down for his morning nap, for whatever reason. I got home a little after noon and he stayed up a bit, I think just to see me, then I tried to put him down. He woke up about 3 times in an hour before I gave up and laid down with him and we both slept for 3 hours or so. But I made the mistake of going shopping with him in the evening and he got all wound up and is STILL awake. I am taking a break from trying to get him to sleep. I've been trying for almost 2 hours. He falls asleep for a few minutes and wakes up, this has happened several times in the last few hours. When he is not on schedule it is just horrible horrible horrible. When he is, he is a happy baby.
blair08 Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 When he is not on a schedule, and is cranky, thats your clue that he is better off on one! Your S/O probably doesn't see much point in one because its probably YOU that has to deal with a cranky child more so than he does. So for your sanity and for your child's mood its better to keep him on a schedule!
hotgurl Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Bo, I don't think you are rigid. I stuck to a schedule when my daughter was little(actually all through her growing up) ans it helps enormously. She needs a set bed time so she gets enough rest. Even now at 13 she gets cranky if she doesn't get her 8 hours. Plus it made it easier on me to handle morning nad evenings if I had a routine. One in a while we deviate and now that she is older we can be more flexable. But when she was younger i had to be strict about it.
JamesM Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 About 18 or 19 years ago, my wife and I visited a friend who already had babies. My wife and I were dating. He made a comment regarding children that I never forgot. At the time, it was a "Whatever" comment to me and I did not see the value in it. He said to me, "When you have children, always keep them on a schedule. Feed them about the same time. Put them to bed about the same time whether it be naps or bedtime. And if you have to go out, still try to keep it the same." And I found this to be so true. Even now that the kids are between 6 and 12, it helps alot to keep them to a structured schedule. Yes, it is more flexible than when they were babies, and now they may be up a half hour longer once in awhile, but it still helps them to have a schedule. Schedules help children to feel stable and secure. It gives them an idea of what is going to happen next. And as we all know, a lack of sleep makes for a cranky baby which makes for a cranky mother (father) which makes for a cranky household. You are right. Keep him on a schedule.
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