510 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Hello, I'm perplexed. I'm interested in a police officer I met at the scene of my accident. Let me admit that I used to be a dispatcher in my past life and would have never considered dating an officer, ever. Its been about two months after my accident and I required some info that was not on a report. I called his sub-division, left a msg and he called back. Well actually we kept playing phone tag, he kept trying to get ahold of me. Finally I decided to write a letter, addressing my question about the accident. He called again, I was unable to answer and he said he would call again because I did not like calling the local dispatchers to get ahold of him. Allow me to explain, that I didn't become interested until the phone calls began. He seemed so kind, then I begin to remember the night he came to the accident. Tall, not very attractive, but comfortable and confident. I remember looking at him but not intensely, I was trying to calm my nerves.. I was with friends at the scene and we were making crazy comments, and I remember he would try to hold back his laughter while trying to remain professional. Finally we were able to talk, he thanked me for the letter. We spoke about the accident. As we were waiting for him to try and access the info on the system, I joked about him calling me maam, understanding its respectful, then the conversation drifted into how old are you, etc. He inquired about my past posn as a Dispatcher, we laughed about a couple of things, I asked if he liked his job, how long he'd been an officer, he said something funny and we laughed. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yes. He was dispatched to a call, said he would call back. That was last week, he did not call back. Remember this is supposed to be professional so I get it and should not expect more than that. Finally tonight I called dispatch again, he called back, apologized for not calling back becuz on a special assignment.. I joked that he must have a girlfriend at the dispatch because I'm always asked 50 questions (I know the policy this is normal) he laughed and said, Noooo, nooo. We spoke about the accident, he was unable to obtain any additional info. I thanked him and told him to be safe.. he said thank you and we said goodbye. I wanted to badly to ask something more personal, like are you married or do you have a significant other? I choked:confused: Although I think he is married because he is not biting the way I'm used to men biting. How would you suggest that I find out if he is married, or try to get into a more personal conversation with him without jeopardizing his position or without making him feel cautious. Although I'm never calling dispatch again. I have to find him in a place outside of the office, away from the uniform. I'm a very private person as well. And I don't want to appear as a stalker. I'm thinking about leaving it alone, if its meant to be I'll see him again. Our community is not that large and although I don't live in the community he patrols, I go through it quite often. I have a couple of friends within the department checking on things for me. However, just in case.. how would you go about it if at all? Thanks ag
Viking Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Rob his house. Just call dispatch one more time and don't choke this go around. You won't regret it either way.
bean1 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Okay, fellow dispatcher here ready to give you the same shake I would give any girlfriend! If you were a dispatcher, then you should know better than to date any officer who would start dating a girl who pursued him after meeting at a call! Come on girl, you KNOW that. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Think back - think of all the officers that you knew, who dated girls that they would meet at calls. We both know how those guys are. Besides, if there's anything an alpha male hates, it is a woman chasing them. As you probably already know, it's quite common for women to be calling dispatch often to try and speak to the cuter/nicer officers. Don't be one of "those girls". He has your name/address/date of birth/phone number/driver's license, etc... if he's a professional person, he won't pursue. If he isn't professional, he'll pursue. That's certainly not the kind of person you want.
Author 510 Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Okay, fellow dispatcher here ready to give you the same shake I would give any girlfriend! If you were a dispatcher, then you should know better than to date any officer who would start dating a girl who pursued him after meeting at a call! Come on girl, you KNOW that. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Think back - think of all the officers that you knew, who dated girls that they would meet at calls. We both know how those guys are. Besides, if there's anything an alpha male hates, it is a woman chasing them. As you probably already know, it's quite common for women to be calling dispatch often to try and speak to the cuter/nicer officers. Don't be one of "those girls". He has your name/address/date of birth/phone number/driver's license, etc... if he's a professional person, he won't pursue. If he isn't professional, he'll pursue. That's certainly not the kind of person you want. You are right on track! Exactly! You see my delimma.. Which is why I cannot pursue this any longer. At least not this way. And I'm more than proud that he has not tried because it lets me know he has some integrity of his job.. I love it! Honestly I would be pissed if he tried to pursue me after a couple of phone calls, and think he was a dog. I cannot say I've ever noticed women calling officers and trying to hook up, I was way to busy to pay attention. I remember a lot of informants calling detectives. So now you see why I need some clever suggestions as how to meet him outside of this setting. Maybe run into him some how, get introduced, I don't know have a speaking engagement some where and invite his division. Now a couple of friends are acquainted with detectives in the dept and are going to try and get some answers for me but without my name coming up. Hopefully one of them will understand and if its safe, they'll find a way to make it happen. Yes, that night as he wrote prepared info to exchange with the other party, he came and stood right next to me (I'm like 6'0 with heels, he's about 6'5), held the paper and pen up in my face and said what is your address. I said I don't give out my personal info, but here is my PO Box. Yes, he has my PO Box, phone number and email and knows my car. Hey but he may think as you mentioned that he cannot pursue an RP and yes if I were an officer I would be afraid that a complaint would be filed against me for such. I have to find a clever strategy as if we just happen to cross paths again! I need the oppty for him to see me again on common ground. I have to see if this is what I want. I am not a police groupie and if I want to get the respect as a lady I have to remain incognito while sill pursuing. Let me know hat you think
Author 510 Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Rob his house. Just call dispatch one more time and don't choke this go around. You won't regret it either way. I would love to do this.. but I can't. I just can't use this route again.. appears way to desperate and I have to remain a DIVA. If he's want I want I need him to always think he has a prize.. There is no way that can happen by acting like most.. Now if I didn't care about nothing more than, just a meet, greet and fun. I might. But I must get the respect as a lady.. Keep thinking of strategies for me. Thanks
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I don't know many male cops, but the few I have known personally who are married wear their wedding bands on duty. Personally, I think the best strategy is no strategy. I also think that you met him while in an altered state (shock and emotion from the accident) and this has colored your viewpoint. That first impression under such circumstances can run really deep; deeper than it should. If he's interested, he's a cop....trust me, he'll find you
Author 510 Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 I don't know many male cops, but the few I have known personally who are married wear their wedding bands on duty. Personally, I think the best strategy is no strategy. I also think that you met him while in an altered state (shock and emotion from the accident) and this has colored your viewpoint. That first impression under such circumstances can run really deep; deeper than it should. If he's interested, he's a cop....trust me, he'll find you I agree but remember I didn't really notice him at the accident, not like that. I remember my niece flirting with him.. But in my mind I remember saying, "Oh he's tall but not cute." Was not my type. .and I'm usually a big flirt. And if you know me, like most there are very few men that will get my attention. You know the saying a woman knows what she wants in a man within the first few minutes. But it was after the calls, that I thought he seems awfully nice. We'll see because I believe in whatever is supposed to happen will. My life is an example of that statement. Miracles seem to happen around me all the time.. thanks
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 See how those images are very clear in your mind? It's a process, one where emotional memories are burned into the brain. The dynamic if he had stopped you for speeding would've been quite different, IMO. You've taken reasonable steps to indicate interest beyond indifference. It's up to him now
Author 510 Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 I like your thinking carhill.. thanks
movingonandon Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I didn't even bother reading. This is just too easy. "I've been a bad girl, officer" :laugh: "Ma'am, I must ask you to behave" "Aw, you can't be serious, officer" "That's it, ma'am, I am taking you downtown"
melodymatters Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I think everyone is making too big a deal about this. Send him a thank you card for all the help he gave you during your difficult time, and ask if you can treat him to lunch/ a drink or something, and then, let him take it from there.
MadBambi Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Yeah, cops and firefighters alike usually have to beat chicks off with a stick. They for sure know how to read people and are totally used to "groupies" for lack of a better term. If you're interested please believe he knows and as mentioned earlier he has your contact info if he wants to pursue something. Although he may just be pursuing some booty so keep that in mind, huh? You could do that thank you card idea, however, it may read like this to him "Thank you for all your help. I think you're really hot and I want you to do me. Please." Anyhow, good luck!
EYECANDY000 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Honestly I think if he was interested he would have left him number with you and said something along the lines of " call any time" just to still remain professional. I think if your going to call then call and ask him, because your going to come off stalker-ish...
silentcharon Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 hmmm, I would NEVER, EVER date a cop. Why not? The job doesn't make the person, or at least, I would hope not. I'm seeing one, and so far, he's been a pretty neat guy. Sometimes I ask questions about his job, it's been interesting.
Author 510 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 I didn't even bother reading. This is just too easy. "I've been a bad girl, officer" :laugh: "Ma'am, I must ask you to behave" "Aw, you can't be serious, officer" "That's it, ma'am, I am taking you downtown" This is hiliarious.. cute!
Author 510 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 I think everyone is making too big a deal about this. Send him a thank you card for all the help he gave you during your difficult time, and ask if you can treat him to lunch/ a drink or something, and then, let him take it from there. I like this idea! Its definitely my style and you are right it would give some closure. But I think I might have already had the oppty when I sent the letter. Maybe a xmas, thank you card. We'll see.. I'll play it by ear.. Thanks
Author 510 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Yeah, cops and firefighters alike usually have to beat chicks off with a stick. They for sure know how to read people and are totally used to "groupies" for lack of a better term. If you're interested please believe he knows and as mentioned earlier he has your contact info if he wants to pursue something. Although he may just be pursuing some booty so keep that in mind, huh? You could do that thank you card idea, however, it may read like this to him "Thank you for all your help. I think you're really hot and I want you to do me. Please." Anyhow, good luck! Well, that might be kewl too.. been there done that.. I'm a grown woman and have enough male friends.. and a man can want what he wants but can only get it if I give it to him. I grew up with 10 brothers and you know what they told me.. It doesn't matter how a man presents himself to you, they all want the same thing in the end.. now how are you going to handle it. Bottom line is if I give it up its because I wanted to, not because he wanted it.. I will have his nose wide open.. Women have the power believe me..
Author 510 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Honestly I think if he was interested he would have left him number with you and said something along the lines of " call any time" just to still remain professional. I think if your going to call then call and ask him, because your going to come off stalker-ish... LOL>. you are funny because you just don't know.. HAHAHAAA.. Honestly having been a dispatcher.. if an officer came onto an RP in the field he was known as a dog and if I were him I would be careful as well.. he has no idea if I would report him, nor if I have a husband. Its not totally clear.. the night at the scene, I had two male friends with me. One pulled over after seeing me, the other saw and parked his car and ran across the street.. at the same time I was calling another male friend to come get me. Maybe this is a game that is out of your league..
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 LOL>. you are funny because you just don't know.. HAHAHAAA.. Honestly having been a dispatcher.. if an officer came onto an RP in the field he was known as a dog and if I were him I would be careful as well.. he has no idea if I would report him, nor if I have a husband. Its not totally clear.. the night at the scene, I had two male friends with me. One pulled over after seeing me, the other saw and parked his car and ran across the street.. at the same time I was calling another male friend to come get me. Maybe this is a game that is out of your league.. Oh My... Them's "fightin' words...."
2sure Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 LOL>. Maybe this is a game that is out of your league.. Just curious - Is that even possible??? I mean, we are talking about traffic patrol officers, right? It certainly is an honorable profession - but just as blue colar as the next - what league is it that is beneath them?? I'm sorry, its just the tone of this is really funny. Do you...LOL...have a scanner at home??
Author 510 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Just curious - Is that even possible??? I mean, we are talking about traffic patrol officers, right? It certainly is an honorable profession - but just as blue colar as the next - what league is it that is beneath them?? I'm sorry, its just the tone of this is really funny. Do you...LOL...have a scanner at home?? Let me clarify.. it doesn't matter if he's blue collar or on wall street making 6 figures, men are men are men all day long. Ive been there with the best. The game I am speaking of is between cats and dogs.. has nothing to do with ones profession. It amazes me how women always want to put men in classifications according to how much money they make, but those same women don't have a dime to bring to the table..
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