how to deal with a pet's death?

[loveinlife]

My dog just died this afternoon. Im having a hard time dealing with it. how can i get better? please share your experience(s). thanks -love

[Capricciosa]

My condolences. My dog died 4 months ago at the age of 11.5. Had him since he was 7 weeks. Getting over it is not so easy. I got him cremated, and surprisingly, his urn gives me some comfort. So did looking at all the pictures of him--I thought they'd make me sad, but I was just happy to see his face and remember all the good times. The grieving process applies here, so look up the stages of grief. I didn't know that not answering the phone, not wanting to get out of bed, letting the house go to hell were all normal parts of grieving. The first few weeks were the worst. Then it calmed down. Then two weeks ago I had a relapse of grief again. It's a hugely sad thing, and you don't just get over it--it takes time. I realized that I will always miss his unconditional love a goofy smile. Again, my sincere condolences. (And by the way, I'm going to revisit the idea of getting another dog in spring--try not to just fill the gap).

[curiousnycgirl]

I am so very sorry for your loss. As previously said, you need to go through the grieving process - it is painful, but healing in it's own way.

 

Do not minimize your feelings because some idiot tells you "it's just a dog" it was a valued and loved member of your family - don't let anyone take that away from you.

 

My heart goes out to you at tihs time of grief

[quankanne]

my condolences, LIL – our pets often become the closest friends/relatives we'll ever have because they love so unconditionally. Well, at least dogs do!

 

there have been threads addressing this issue, and hokeyreligions has posted some fantastic resources and links for just this purpose, I'll try to find them.

 

hugs,

quank

[quankanne]

something that hokeyreligions posted to another grieving pet owner

pet loss

 

 

There are grief support programs all over the globe and on-line. Google Rainbow Bridge for a start. These may make you cry - I do when I read them - but I've found them to be helpful in moving forward in my own life by giving me some peace of mind in knowing that I did the right thing. Loving is never easy.

 

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

 

 

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,

So sorrowfully endowed,

And through these last few cherished days,

Your courage makes me proud.

 

 

But really, love is knowing

When your best friend is in pain,

And understanding earthly acts

Will only be in vain.

 

 

So looking deep into your eyes,

Beyond, into your soul,

I see in you the magic, that will

Once more make me whole.

 

 

The strength that you possess,

Is why I look to you today,

To do this thing that must be done,

For it's the only way.

 

 

That strength is why I've followed you,

And chose you as my friend,

And why I've loved you all these years...

My partner 'til the end.

 

 

Please, understand just what this gift,

You're giving, means to me,

It gives me back the strength I've lost,

And all my dignity.

 

 

You take a stand on my behalf,

For that is what friends do.

And know that what you do is right,

For I believe it too.

 

 

So one last time, I breathe your scent,

And through your hand I feel,

The courage that's within you,

To now grant me this appeal.

 

 

Cut the leash that holds me here,

Dear friend, and let me run,

Once more a strong and steady dog,

My pain and struggle done.

 

 

And don't despair my passing,

For I won't be far away,

Forever here, within your heart,

And memory I'll stay.

 

 

I'll be there watching over you,

Your ever faithful friend,

And in your memories I'll run,

...a young dog once again.

 

 

In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997

© Karen Clouston

[ioncebelieved]

I am a huge fan of cats and one of mine died last December. It was rough for a few days, but I bought another one a few weeks after my kitty dying. It is the Maine Coon in my avatar! For me this helped me get over my little kitty. I had her for 10 years and the new addition brings many smiles to my face...even though she can be a royal pain in my ass! She loves trying to get in my window when I am sleeping and scratches on the shades. But I love her to death!!!

[Violetta]

Condolences from me too!

 

It has devastated me whenever a pet has died and as others have said you have to go through the grief process. Crying is important. sometimes acquaintances arent always as supportive as they would be if a human relative died so just expect that and be selective who you tell about how you are feeling. I think it is very helpful to get another animal, no- one else gives that much love! I help at an animal shelter and fostering a needy animal is also very therapeutic.

 

However, I know that the world will seem empty without your pet, sorry about your pain.

[anne1707]

First of all, let me say how sorry I am to here about your loss.

 

Only with time, it will get better. It is nearly 3 years since I lost one of my cats and it broke my heart. It was desperately hard making the decision at the vets to have her put to sleep but it was the best thing for her - she had suffered enough. It was the right thing to do for her.

 

All you can do for now, is think of your dog, let yourself cry and grieve (and ignore those idiots who say "but it was only a dog"). In time, the pain will ease and you will start to remember the happier times when your dog was well and happy.

 

Unfortunately, the burden from having a pet is that we have to make these horrible decisions and let them go. But that is the responsibility we have to take for the years of pleasure and happiness they can bring to us. I still miss my cat. As does my H. We still talk about her as if she was with us.

 

We eventually got another cat and it took a while for me to love her - it felt as if I was wrong to let her take the place of the one who had died. But then I realised I was just being silly. There was no replacement of the old cat - it was an addition to the "family" and I had enough love for all my cats. So with time, you may want to get another dog but do that when it is right for you and don't feel guilty about loving that new dog as I am sure you will.

[JamesM]

My condolences and I understand your feelings of grief.

 

It has been almost three years since I lost my last dog, and I can remember still the grief it brought to our house. I have posted before what she meant to our family. She helped raise our boys as we got her as a puppy when we had a three year old and a 18 month old. The stories of how she cared for them still bring a tear to my eye. She was their babysitter. And as we had two more boys, she watched them. I have pictures of her with a boy sleeping on her and she not moving a muscle except her tail...even when I talked to her. And another picture where she lay watching our newborn who was on a breathing monitor. She seemed to sense he needed a little extra care. My wife always said that she felt the boys were safe if the dog were watching them. Some say that dogs should never be alone with babies, but we had a unique one that could be trusted with ours. (Ironically, she was never good with strangers except children).

 

I had better to quit. Your thread is bringing back many good memories, though.

 

So when we lost her at the young age of seven, we were all in some grief.

 

For our family, the best thing to do was to look for another dog. And after a month, I began a search and found another dog who has made her own place in our family. She can never be the babysitter that the last one was, but she does not need to be. Now our boys are getting older. Yet she is much sweeter in other ways that the last one was not. She is also a more mellow dog and less of a guard dog. She has been a good choice for us at this stage of our family.

 

I cannot tell you that getting another dog is good for you, nor would I dare. I can only relate to you what has worked for us. I know that our boys needed to move on and getting another dog was the best way for them...and me. So, while the grief is immense at this point, you may find that at some point, another dog will be helpful. Like us, you may find that no other dog can replace the one you lost yet in other ways, another dog will improve your life differently.

 

Again, I extend my sympathy as one who has been where you are can do. Losing our dog was definitely like losing a "sister" for us. It is not an easy time for you. Let us know how things go for you.

[Trialbyfire]

Hey love, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Pets really are like family, where you feel the same amount of pain. ((hugs))

[JamesM]

Two things that I did that seemed to help me. As for the rest of the family, I don't know if it did as much for them.

 

First, I made a computer collection of all of her pictures. Since none were digital, I had to scan each one. There were over 200. I put the ones I liked in a chronological order and set music to it. For me it was (and still is) nice to review all of the many memories I had with her. I also made a wall photo collection which everyone has appreciated. It still sits on the wall, and we stop and take a look at it as we walk by. Since it sits in the hall entry of our house, it is looked at often.

 

Second, I had a tombstone made for her and placed in our back yard. I put solar lights on each side so that it is lit up every night. Again, it is nice that I can look out and remember her when I want to.

 

For me, consolation of my grief involved doing things. For others, it doesn't help. For me, moving on past my grief meant getting another dog. For others, it does not.

 

Wish you the best.

[Meaplus3]

My dog just died this afternoon. Im having a hard time dealing with it. how can i get better? please share your experience(s). thanks -love

 

I'm sorry sorry to hear about the loss of your pet. I can relate to the grief your feeling..I have lost 3 cats in the past.. and it hurts. I can tell you that in time you will feel better. Just remember all the good times you had with your pup. Hang in there. ((((hugs))))

 

 

Mea:)

[Joyvke]

Sorry to hear about your pet. All you can do is think about how good he/ she had it when living with you . You will still miss him/ her even years after.

 

We have alot of pets, but the pain doesn't become any less when one dies. Good luck to you.

[MWH]

I'm so sorry about your loss.

 

Losing a pet is very dificult and many people do not understand our attachment. I do. When I lost mine in the past I grieved for a long time. It is perfectly normal. It just takes time.

 

I wish there was something I could say or do to help you other than just write here. Just know that you are not alone and know that you will heal up.

 

 

*hug*

 

MWH