Long story... What can I do about this boy? He's taking over my life!!! =(

[onelove187]

This is a really, really complicated, very long, and very weird story that is taking over my life and my thoughts, goals, emotions - completely.

 

I've bolded the key facts/events for anyone who wants to just skim and get the idea.

I can't find anyone else with the same situation, so advice would be greatly, super appreciated.

 

 

 

I'm eighteen years old. I graduated high school this past June, and I've decided to take a year off for work and start college next year when I'm 19.

 

Clearly, there's this boy...

 

I remember in 10th grade, I really wasn't interested in boys yet. I was more focused on simply surviving high school and my personal life otherwise.

 

One day everything changed. I was stopped in the hall talking to a friend, when I glanced up and met eyes with the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. Somehow, I managed to keep talking to my friend as this boy and I held eye contact, barely blinking, turning our heads as he passed us. All I could think was, "Wow, he is really cute..."

 

Little had I realized, he'd been in my gym class for over 3 months at that point, so I was around him every other day but had never really seen him like that.

 

From that point on, whenever I saw the kid (which was suddenly a lot more often), it seemed we always - always - would make eye contact. I'm not talking for a quick second then move on, I'm talking we both slow down, don't really even realize we're staring at one another because we're transfixed by each other's eyes, then reluctantly go our separate ways. Once, I even walked brushing shoulders to him, and from only inches apart, we locked eyes, heads turned toward one another and everything.

 

This went on throughout all 2.5 remaining years of high school, intensifying (becoming more evident as it went).

 

Once, my friend even said after we had passed him (I avoided looking at him for some reason that time), "He was staring at you!" All I could do was look uncomfortably pleased and go, "I know."

 

He would always go near me if he saw me coming. He wasn't in my direct line of sight once, and he sidestepped a couple feet just to cross my path and act like he wasn't doing anything - right in my face! Or he'd slow down to watch some more. Or even walk in circles around me hoping I saw him. He'd go out of his way to be certain that I saw him if we weren't coming face to face.

 

Once, at a local concert, the place was packed so tight there was no way to really see over anyone. He weaved his way away from his friend, and stopped and stood in front of my friend and I for a full five seconds, glancing off into a corner biting his lip with a slight smirk, as if to say "Look! I'm here! Just wanted to make sure you saw me." Then he kept gradually making his way so he stood in front of us and glanced over his shoulder every couple seconds. He then did that at every show I went to he was at afterwards.

 

This behavior really never stopped, there was never a break in his attention towards me the whole 3 years.

Same with my attention to him - he got into my heart to the extent that he's been the greatest thing in the world to me for over 2 years.

 

And we never said a word to one another. No smiles at each other (at least not during contact... No direct "I'm definitely smiling at you in particular" smiles but obvious "I'm smiling as a result of you being around" ones), no waves, no hello's.

 

I heard at one point during school that he was friends with benefits with a girl he was always around, and it didn't really bother me. It bothered me when they started dating, but I was kept unusually afloat by the fact that he never stopped staring, or "flirting with his body language."

 

They broke up, he still did it. They dated again near the end of senior year, he still did it. They broke up again after graduation, he still did it.

 

When they dated, he would be standing holding her hand.. But be staring at me. Like, without blinking. Like he wanted to say, "Aren't you jealous? But see, I'm still giving you most my attention. Say something to me."

And if he was talking to her, he'd spot me and then suddenly go very quiet, or start mumbling. She'd even have to ask what he said.

 

I point out when he's staring to my friends, and they see it too.

 

 

During school, he had a few classes with my best friend. They never spoke, until we went to see his new band play about an hour from where we all live.

 

My two friends and I were lost, walking along desperately behind various stores (basically in rear parking lots). We thought we'd never find the stupid concert venue... And then I look up, and he comes out of a random door. Just him. No other band members. A voice inside me says "You have got to be joking. What are the chances that we walk up to this place without realizing this is what we're looking for, and he comes out the freaking second we get here?"

 

One of the girls I was with used to know him, so she yells his name and starts towards him. He stops dead as he realizes I'm with her, and I mutter to my other friend, "Is this really happening right now?" She giggles, "Yup."

 

I couldn't feel myself that moment. I felt outside my body. I could only feel my heart in my chest, freaking the hell out. My feet walked without me to stand in front of him with the others, and for a moment I couldn't look up at his face.

But then I realized I didn't feel any butterflies. I didn't feel anything. Just huge surges of some kind of numbed adrenaline. So, I looked up. He was kind of avoiding looking at me like I had been because we were so close.

 

He talked kind of quickly to any questions the girl that knew him asked. I didn't say much, for obvious reasons. He asked a stupid, I-don't-know-what-else-to-talk-about question, like "You guys came a long way... How'd you get here?"

 

Me, an idiot, looked straight into his eyes with a slight smug smirk, and went "Driving." He looked back at me like a deer in the headlights.

I felt like a complete ass when we were done talking to him.

 

Anyway, he gave us a discount on the tickets he sold us, and I instantly felt very special.

 

After going inside, we grouped to freak out and go mad with girl talk about him, and I glanced over and saw him standing at the other end of the room... By himself... Away from all his friends, arms crossed, staring right at me... With a huge. Freaking. Smile.

 

Neither of us could stop smiling the whole show. We were kind of far from the stage, so he picked up his microphone (he's the singer), and looks at us and goes, "Come on, guys, its a show. Move closer, get up here." So my friends drag me so close that there is no space between us and the stage - we were as close as you can get without being on the stage itself.

He grinned through their whole performance, stealing glances when I wasn't looking (I mostly couldn't take my eyes off my shoes).

 

 

So, that was the first time we "talked." Mind you, that was in the middle of high school.

 

So, upon everyone's return to classes, he decided it was cool to start waving at my friend who had been at the show - the one who didn't know him.

 

Never really said anything to her, just waved, unfailingly, every time he saw her in the halls. And still he only stared at me, and I him - because it was awkward, because we both know about "each other."

I noticed a pattern of him taking notice of my friends. He'd see us together for the first time, and those friends would suddenly report noticing that he watched them a lot more then.

 

We graduated and I therefore stopped seeing him almost every day, down to pretty much never.

 

Until one night this past summer.

 

I was at the local diner with another of my friends, and we were heading out to my car.

 

I glanced into the car parked next to mine, as a kid was kind of hanging out of the open door. I noticed he was the drummer of my crush's band, but didn't really think anything of it (and obviously did not make the connection that my crush could be in that car, too.)

 

My friend and I were waiting for other people to show up and meet us there, so we stayed outside my car to talk and giggle at inside jokes - very loudly. Glancing at the other car again, I saw a lot of silhouettes, and whispered to my friend, "Dude, theres like 500 kids in that car!"

 

After a few minutes, the other car starts and backs up very quickly. It backs into the light of a nearby lamppole, and my eyes fixate on the driver. It was my crush! It was him and a car full of his bandmates!

 

I stop breathing and turn quickly to my friend, "Dude, that's -crush's name-!"

 

Then the car suddenly stops on its way out, and two of his friends stick themselves out the window to freaking scream at us, "Hey! -name of local concert venue- Saturday!"

I pause, in shock, before raising my arm to let them know I heard, and yell back, "Word!"

Then they speed away.

 

We freaking FELL onto the ground screaming because we couldn't believe what just happened.

 

We went to see them play that Saturday, as promised.

 

At one point, as he was singing (I was standing on a couch so I could see better), and he stared right at me - and I stared right back. We maintained this eye contact for over 5 seconds at a time, and it basically proved to me that this kid meant business.

 

I stopped seeing him after that, as most everyone was leaving for college.

 

After a few months, I got a Facebook after loads of peer pressure from everyone I knew.

 

And I stumbled upon his through the friend he had started waving at.

 

I gathered myself and took the benefit of not having to see him the next day or anything, and sent him a message that read something like this:

"Well Mr. -his name-. I've been meaning to say hi to you like forever, but for some reason I never got around to it. So, yeah. Hi. =]"

 

He response was like this: "Hahaha, you shoulda said hi forever ago. Hi though, how's things?"

 

I personally couldn't find any other interpretation for it than a basic "I wanted you to say hi too."

 

We started talking like that, about casual things for almost 3 months.

 

In the middle of those three months, however, he suddenly began showing up where I was - and only whenever I advertised I would be there at that time via AIM away messages.

 

The first time it happened, we were at a local Dunkin Donuts. Sitting inside, we saw a car that resembled his best friend's car pull in, and joked about if they were in it.

 

As we left, I saw that mysterious car had parked basically diagonal to my car, and we all (there was a few of us) glanced at who was in it. It was my crush and his best friend. We all FLIPPED. OUT. As discretely as possible, because their windows were cracked.

 

When I looked at my crush, I saw he was slumped down in his seat, partially hidden by the dashboard (he's like 6 feet tall though so it didn't really work lol), looking down nervously.

 

After a bit (with me and him avoiding looking at each other), they drove away as meekly as possible, and sped off to unknown places.

 

After being a bunch of girls and looking around town for them, we were shocked to drive by Dunkin Donuts and see them standing inside getting coffee, meaning they specifically waited until we had left to go back.

 

Stuff like this. Has been happening. Every weekend. Sometimes most weekdays even.

 

Every time it happened, I had put something like "around town. dunkin donuts at 9!" in my away message, and they'd show up at 9:10.

 

As in, we had so many "Dude, its them." instances that we stopped beleiving in coincidences entirely.

 

Neither me or my crush ever mentioned seeing each other in the online FB convo.

 

We usually took at least a day or two to respond to each other's messages - sometimes it took him even a full week. He never exceeded exactly one week, though.

 

Initially, the first time he took so long to reply, I thought he was ignoring me and sent another message saying it was okay if he didn't want to talk anymore and that I'd see him around.

 

He sent a response the next day saying he never got a reply to his last message, and thought that I was the one that stopped talking! After that, we went back to the usual semi-awkward, curious exchanges.

 

His band had a show the next week at one point, and I didn't want to be the one stuck waiting for a response (since there's always a feeling of uncertainty that he'd reply if he took a few days) when I knew I had to face him - because how could I not go to that show?

 

So, moronically (I haven't forgiven myself for this), I ignored him the whole week even though he knew I was online. My excuse was, "I want to say hi in person at the show and break that barrier!"

 

The problem was, the second I saw him that night, I lost all my nerve.

 

I could not even look at the kid, let alone talk to him. I avoided all contact with him the entire show, and when I did look at him and our eyes met (only once this happened), I looked away quickly rather than holding it and smiling like I wanted to so badly.

 

My friend and I were kind of off away from the crowd in the back... And he came over and stood in the back too, leaning against a wall, all by himself - literally no one around him - staring at me. Making himself available for me to come over. Because, I'm sure he felt awkward to initiate contact first since he probably felt bad from being blatantly ignored the whole week. Standing there, all I could make myself do thanks to overwhelming fear, was whisper under my breath to myself, "I'm sorry."

 

At one point, the friend that was with him all the times they showed up places came over to him, and they BOTH stood there watching me. Clearly, most of his friends know about our "conversation." So do most of my friends.

 

He even waited until there were virtually no people left, walked past me real slow (me with my eyes glued to the floor), and looked hopefully over his shoulder at me, then seemed to sigh, and walked away.

 

I felt really bad about this. Like, I couldn't believe I'd been such a jerk. I had never snubbed anyone in my life like that... Mostly because there hasn't been anyone in my life like him until now.

 

I apologized to him in a message the next day, saying something like, "Blahhh, soo I really wanted to say hi to you the other night, butttt I didn't, 'cause I'm a retard. =( Forgive me? =]"

 

He responded, "Ahh, that's lameee, you shoulda said something! But of course I forgive you, haha." And then we picked up usual conversation again. I kind of gave him compliments without really realizing what I was doing, like, he said he'd put on a bad show the other night, and I said I thought he did fine, and he said thanks with a smiley face (smiley faces were very rare from him).

 

 

The most significant time we had him and his friend show up a random place was almost a repeat of the first.

 

Dunkin Donuts, a Thursday night, raining. No other kids were out but us. We see a suspicious car pull in, and even made the "Wouldn't it be funny if it was them?" joke.

 

Of course, it was them.

 

That time... They parked. Right. Behind. My car.

 

They know exactly what my car looks like. I could only think that was a little weird of them.

 

Might I mention, whenever we see them like this, they NEVER get out of their car - they always either wait until we leave or leave first and go somewhere else - they never do what they "came there to do!"

 

So, I'm freaking out again, saying "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening again!"

 

Their windows were cracked again, listening to what we were all saying, and when I looked at my crush, again, he was squished down in his seat looking down nervously.

 

Everyone with me had been there the first time, except one kid.

Unfortunately, that one kid changed everything.

 

He caught on that the people in the car behind mine were significant somehow, and decided to stick half his body out his car window. He points his arm straight at their car, which is literally only a few feet away, and shouts at the top of his lungs, "IS THAT THEM!? IS THAT THOSE GUYS!?!?"

 

I was in my car at that point, and could only gape over at him in shock of what he did.

 

According to those who were watching this happen (I couldn't see anything), my crush and his friend started laughing (the kid who shouted even screamed, "Hahaha, THEY'RE LAUGHING!") and someone said my crush nodded as if saying yes.

I started my car in a panic and started leaving, and my friend's car followed.

 

The second they saw us leaving, my crush's friend started his car and left too! Never got out! Never went into Dunkin Donuts like they had "come there for!" And again, I had even put in my away message where I would be that night!

 

I couldn't believe it!

 

We drove around for a bit until my friend said she saw them go to the diner next door to Dunkin Donuts, so we went to see. They were. I refused to go inside, so one of the other girls went.

 

She said that when she came in, my crush tapped the table to get his friend's attention and motioned to her, and his friend turned around in his seat to look.

His friend got up and started towards her, chuckling with a big smile, and acted like he was going to say something, but then just shook his head and kept walking.

 

When we saw them come out, his friend kept hitting him playfully

like guys tend to do when they tease and say things like "Duuude, she so likes you!"

 

A a few days later (I already hadn't replied to my crush for a few days and left on a trip the day after that incident), I sent him a message saying "Haha, I totally saw you at dunkin donuts the other night. I wasn't really paying attention, but you guys should have chilled with us or something! =P"

 

It's been been about a month, and he never replied to that.

 

The thing is, the convo got stale. The next time he logged in, "the other night" was already the last week, and I'm assuming he didn't really know what to say or he may have felt a little awkward from me calling him out on being "caught."

We stopped seeing them around for a little while.

 

Until his band had another show.

 

We got there first, and were relieved, because its kind of awkward when you have to walk by groups of people who you don't know/have awkward issues with (like my crush and his friends) and be so plainly visible.

 

As I reach for the door to get out of my car, his best friend's car zooms past. Followed by his other bandmate's car. We could not believe the timing of it.

 

They pull up on the opposite side of the street to unload their equipment, and then I knew exactly how they felt those times we popped up when they were awkwardly stuck in their car with no escape from being seen.

 

They didn't notice us for a while, and then suddenly my crush's eyes landed on my car, and right on me.

 

He stops the friend who was with him all those times, tapping his shoulder, smiles, and points at my car. His friend smiles too, and then they all wander off down the street. As they go, my crush keeps glancing back at us over his shoulder with a huge grin on his face.

 

Once they were out of sight, we scrambled out of the car and made a mad dash across the street. We went inside and settled onto a couch to watch another band play. The venue is a cafe so its very small and intimate.

 

Recently their band got a new member, and we didn't know who it was yet. We had noticed him finally outside when we saw him get out of one of their cars.

 

Sitting there watching the other band play, I looked up at one point and saw the new kid - standing by himself - watching us. Instantly, I realized he was like a spy. My crush and his band assumed we don't know who he is, so it was like they sent him in to see what we were doing.

He left after a bit, and then they all came in.

 

My crush sat basically adjacent to us on a nearby chair (while everyone he was with stood elsewhere...), crossed his legs, and stared. Thankfully, there were a lot of people there so it was easy to avoid his eyes.

 

Eventually they all gathered in the opposite corner of the room, and finally it was their turn to play.

 

My crush goes and gets his mic to start the sound check. By now, my friends and I are the only ones in the whole room sitting down. He starts the mic check and then looks at us, and goes, "If you're sitting down, you should really stand up." All smug-like. I couldn't believe he said that, on the mic and everything.

 

He didn't stop doing things like that. He would go "So uh, SOME PEOPLE should really stick around after the show." and "I repeat, do not leave!" or "There's a great band on after us... Everyone better stay."

 

He used "SOME PEOPLE" (in obvious reference to me and my friends...) multiple times but I can't really remember everything he said, my brain was too busy not believing he was saying it.

 

At one point, the drummer (the friend he's always with when they basically stalk me around town), stopped counting in the song and had a big grin on his face, so my crush went over to him and said into the mic for everyone to hear, "Come on, man, we gotta play the song... We got people watching us."

 

My friend and I looked at each other with our mouths wide open.

 

I couldn't stop the huge, shy smile on my face that was there the whole time they played.

He couldn't stop smiling either, seemingly for no reason... A reason only him, his friends, and me and my friends knew.

 

His friends kept playfully pushing and shoving him the whole night - not each other - only him!

 

The people I was with decided we should go outside even though it was like 20 degrees out.

 

So we stand there chatting, and eventually my crush and his band come out. Despite the close proximity (the outside is like an alleyway), we didn't say anything to each other. It was really hard for me to even look at him.

 

His friends grouped up into a circle kind of close to us, and he stood so that he could face me and see what I was doing.

 

At one point, the drummer pulled his car up right next to us to start putting his equipment in.

 

I asked one of my friends (she doesn't know details about the whole situation with the boys right next to us) what color she thought his car was (its hard to pick blue or green), so she points at it and says loudly, "That car? Its totally green!" My crush's friend notices and sees us all looking at his car from two inches away (because he just got out of the car), puts a big grin on, and raises his arm (like people do when they go "Aww yeah!") and goes to my crush, "Yo, all the girls wanna -somethingsomethingsomething-" No one really heard all of what he said, but it was obviously a reference to us.

 

After that, my crush and his friends went inside again, I went across the street to get something from my car, mostly because I was bored and cold and wanted to get away from the people I was with for a minute. Unfortunately, they all had to follow me like sheep and pile into my car.

 

I turned it on because we were freezing. Unfortunately, at that moment, my crush and his friends came out again, saw us in my running car, and assumed we were leaving, so they watched us for a bit before they started to leave too. Their cars were down the street, and as they went, some of them (including my crush and the main friend) had their fists up in the air like they were cheering or proud of themselves for something. When we drove past the parking lot they were in, we saw my crush and one of them play fighting or something, it was weird.

 

The DAY AFTER THAT, my friend and I are at a local gas station that has a big convenience store so some kids are there a lot. We're sitting in her car, about to get out, when we see the infamous car pull in. We start screaming, "OH GOD. WHAT DO WE DO? OH GOD." Because its almost impossible not to be seen if anyone looks in the car as they go in to pay for gas.

 

My crush's best friend gets out of the car, and we see the passenger's window is open despite it being like 30 degrees outside, so we assume theres someone with him.

 

After a minute of hard staring, we know its my crush sitting there in the car and not someone else.

 

The friend goes in to pay for his gas and comes back out without noticing us, and suddenly we want to not have them leave without knowing we're there so we can gauge their reaction.

So, we hop out and scurry inside, giggling and frantic worrying that they might come in too and make it really awkward.

 

We stand with our backs turned making coffee, and I glance over my shoulder at one point. I could not believe what I saw.

 

They pulled up in their car, right in front of the door. Lights on. And just sit there for a good 3 minutes. Then back up and leave.

 

My crush must have seen us get out and said something to the friend, and they pulled up like creepo's to make sure it was us.

We stayed at the gas station for a good 15 minutes, before piling into the car again, laughing and kind of in shock about what just happened.

 

We drive towards the usual Dunkin Donuts, and as we pull in, we see only one car with lights on.

 

It's theirs. They don't notice us go past because my friend's car is unfamiliar to them, and back up out of the space, and leave. They went to Dunkin Donuts to see if we would show up there, thinking we hadn't seen them at the gas station.

 

We turned around real quick to see where they were going.

They went back to the gas station! When they OBVIOUSLY didn't want anything from it, because the friend just went in for gas and my crush didn't get out for anything the first time they were there!

 

They sat parked for over 4 minutes with the car running, and then sat with it off for another 10 minutes! We couldn't believe it!

 

They went back to the gas station to check if we were still there!

The last time we drove by, their car was gone.

 

The other night, we went to Dunkin Donuts, and saw them walking inside, and freaked out and parked because we didn't know what else to do. There was no one but them in there and it would be unbelievably uncomfortable to go inside.

 

When they came out, my windows were down and I was playing music kind of loudly, and they stopped to look at my car for a few seconds before getting into theirs. The second I started to drive away, so did they!

 

They went a different way, but we drove by them on the street once.

 

Later, we went to the gas station, and sat in the car drinking coffee for a bit. They came and parked too but apparently didn't notice our car.

 

We had really been just wanting tea and coffee when we first went to DD, so we went back after a couple hours to get it. We were waiting for other people to show up first, and were sitting in the car with the lights on. In the middle of conversation, my friend goes, "Dude, thats not them, is it?"

I look over at the car coming in, and say, "Yeah. It is. It's them." Because it WAS. They saw me staring at their car, and kind of drifted by at 5 miles per hour, then went straight out the back exit and left.

 

They had ALREADY been to DD that night and ALREADY had their coffee.

 

 

 

I really want to be really honest and message him again, asking why we stare(d) at each other so much all the time, ask if he wants to hang out or not, and if not then why did he do everything he did/does, what he means by what he's doing (stalking and no talking), and even bring up the whole "both stalking each other" thing.

 

I get so nervous whenever he's around and I can't make myself say anything to either of them, and apparently neither can they.

 

His best friend has come close to saying something to me - once I looked up at a Halloween festival thing their band played at to see him standing maybe 5 inches in front of me, like he was friends with me - that close.

 

He stayed for a good few seconds, looking at something else but obviously just avoiding my eyes (with a kid he was with standing waiting behind him too.

 

I almost went "...Hi?" but he walked away. It was almost like he was being a messenger for my crush (who had been there staring at me) but lost his nerve.

 

Extreme, amazing thanks to anyone who even just skimmed this.

 

 

I don't know how to go about dealing with this!

 

Do you think I'm right about him liking me back?

 

My friend called me all excited a few months after we had been talking (I can't see most of his profile and he can't see most of mine) and told me that he put something extremely interesting on his profile:

 

"And I need a girlfriend... But its not like anyone checks this..."

 

So, if no one checks it, why did he put it there?

He wanted SOMEONE he knows looks at his Facebook to see it!

 

Who's a certain girl he makes eyes at communicating with him on FB? ME.

 

He was so obviously pointing out that he's single and looking!

 

So why doesn't he just say something to me? Even online? Anything!

If he didn't like me I'd think he would avoid me like most people do when they get the feeling someone likes them but don't like them back - but he practically stalks me!

 

I know this is the longest thing, EVER, but its really that complicated and every detail feels that important!

 

This is really taking over my entire existence!

 

What can I do?

 

 

 

 

[Murphy08]

well that was an essay! no offence but he sounds kinda scary and freaky. he's a stalker! just go and talk 2 him. seriously this sounds absolutely ridiculous and you should just go over and talk 2 him. its really not that hard and it would definitely help you to stop over obsessing about what everything means or what he is thinking. he might like you or could just be having a laugh with his friends, who knows. but i definitely think you should talk 2 him in person and straighten things out.

[luverly]

wow you obviously both want each other, but are just way too shy. life is too short. tell him you like him. it's obvious he likes you, so what are you afraid of? him liking you back? because thats all that will happen...you flirt and he will flirt back...you say i like you and he'll say it back. online is easy...just tell him in an email. there's nothing to be afraid of when you're already living in the worst-case scenario (i.e. not being together) so just do it girl!

[Viking]

 

This is really taking over my entire existence!

 

What can I do?

 

 

 

 

That was ridiculously long.

 

Your bolding pieces did not help one bit because every other letter was bolded. ANNOYING!

 

Onto your question, you're 18...you're young. If neither of you have the balls to make a move, oh well...there'll be plenty of other guys.

 

Wait until you get to college. They're smart (for the most part). Unless you know he's the one, forget it. You've got 5-6 more years til something that matters can actually formulate.

[xpaperxcutx]

That was the longest composition I have read in a while.

 

But gosh, it really felt like I was reading a teen novel, and I haven't done that in a while. Therefore my advice is to avoid all the complicated squeaks and squeals associated with girls when you see a crush, and actually make a move to see if there's any progression towards a relationship. This whole cat and mouse game has dragged on for far too long, especially for your gasoline. Be it the cafe, DD, or just the gas station, you must have wasted more than 10 gallons.

 

From now on, you'll say " Hi" and maintain eye contact. It shouldn't be too hard, of course keep a bottle of water on hand if your lips get too dry.

[Citizen Erased]

The next time you see him, walk up to him and kiss him. Tell him you've wanted to do that for a long time.

 

Cut all of the teenaged girly bs and do something. Inevitably he will lose interest and nothing will happen. He will find a girl willing to do more than stare at him and look at her feet when he is close by.

[Miranda1]

This is a really, really complicated, very long, and very weird story that is taking over my life and my thoughts, goals, emotions - completely.

 

I've bolded the key facts/events for anyone who wants to just skim and get the idea.

 

I can't find anyone else with the same situation, so advice would be greatly, super appreciated.

 

 

 

I'm eighteen years old. I graduated high school this past June, and I've decided to take a year off for work and start college next year when I'm 19.

 

Clearly, there's this boy...

 

I remember in 10th grade, I really wasn't interested in boys yet. I was more focused on simply surviving high school and my personal life otherwise.

 

One day everything changed. I was stopped in the hall talking to a friend, when I glanced up and met eyes with the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. Somehow, I managed to keep talking to my friend as this boy and I held eye contact, barely blinking, turning our heads as he passed us. All I could think was, "Wow, he is really cute..."

 

Little had I realized, he'd been in my gym class for over 3 months at that point, so I was around him every other day but had never really seen him like that.

 

From that point on, whenever I saw the kid (which was suddenly a lot more often), it seemed we always - always - would make eye contact. I'm not talking for a quick second then move on, I'm talking we both slow down, don't really even realize we're staring at one another because we're transfixed by each other's eyes, then reluctantly go our separate ways. Once, I even walked brushing shoulders to him, and from only inches apart, we locked eyes, heads turned toward one another and everything.

 

This went on throughout all 2.5 remaining years of high school, intensifying (becoming more evident as it went).

 

Once, my friend even said after we had passed him (I avoided looking at him for some reason that time), "He was staring at you!" All I could do was look uncomfortably pleased and go, "I know."

 

He would always go near me if he saw me coming. He wasn't in my direct line of sight once, and he sidestepped a couple feet just to cross my path and act like he wasn't doing anything - right in my face! Or he'd slow down to watch some more. Or even walk in circles around me hoping I saw him. He'd go out of his way to be certain that I saw him if we weren't coming face to face.

 

Once, at a local concert, the place was packed so tight there was no way to really see over anyone. He weaved his way away from his friend, and stopped and stood in front of my friend and I for a full five seconds, glancing off into a corner biting his lip with a slight smirk, as if to say "Look! I'm here! Just wanted to make sure you saw me." Then he kept gradually making his way so he stood in front of us and glanced over his shoulder every couple seconds. He then did that at every show I went to he was at afterwards.

 

This behavior really never stopped, there was never a break in his attention towards me the whole 3 years.

 

Same with my attention to him - he got into my heart to the extent that he's been the greatest thing in the world to me for over 2 years.

 

And we never said a word to one another. No smiles at each other (at least not during contact... No direct "I'm definitely smiling at you in particular" smiles but obvious "I'm smiling as a result of you being around" ones), no waves, no hello's.

 

I heard at one point during school that he was friends with benefits with a girl he was always around, and it didn't really bother me. It bothered me when they started dating, but I was kept unusually afloat by the fact that he never stopped staring, or "flirting with his body language."

 

They broke up, he still did it. They dated again near the end of senior year, he still did it. They broke up again after graduation, he still did it.

 

When they dated, he would be standing holding her hand.. But be staring at me. Like, without blinking. Like he wanted to say, "Aren't you jealous? But see, I'm still giving you most my attention. Say something to me."

 

And if he was talking to her, he'd spot me and then suddenly go very quiet, or start mumbling. She'd even have to ask what he said.

 

I point out when he's staring to my friends, and they see it too.

 

 

During school, he had a few classes with my best friend. They never spoke, until we went to see his new band play about an hour from where we all live.

 

My two friends and I were lost, walking along desperately behind various stores (basically in rear parking lots). We thought we'd never find the stupid concert venue... And then I look up, and he comes out of a random door. Just him. No other band members. A voice inside me says "You have got to be joking. What are the chances that we walk up to this place without realizing this is what we're looking for, and he comes out the freaking second we get here?"

 

One of the girls I was with used to know him, so she yells his name and starts towards him. He stops dead as he realizes I'm with her, and I mutter to my other friend, "Is this really happening right now?" She giggles, "Yup."

 

I couldn't feel myself that moment. I felt outside my body. I could only feel my heart in my chest, freaking the hell out. My feet walked without me to stand in front of him with the others, and for a moment I couldn't look up at his face.

 

But then I realized I didn't feel any butterflies. I didn't feel anything. Just huge surges of some kind of numbed adrenaline. So, I looked up. He was kind of avoiding looking at me like I had been because we were so close.

 

He talked kind of quickly to any questions the girl that knew him asked. I didn't say much, for obvious reasons. He asked a stupid, I-don't-know-what-else-to-talk-about question, like "You guys came a long way... How'd you get here?"

 

Me, an idiot, looked straight into his eyes with a slight smug smirk, and went "Driving." He looked back at me like a deer in the headlights.

 

I felt like a complete ass when we were done talking to him.

 

Anyway, he gave us a discount on the tickets he sold us, and I instantly felt very special.

 

After going inside, we grouped to freak out and go mad with girl talk about him, and I glanced over and saw him standing at the other end of the room... By himself... Away from all his friends, arms crossed, staring right at me... With a huge. Freaking. Smile.

 

Neither of us could stop smiling the whole show. We were kind of far from the stage, so he picked up his microphone (he's the singer), and looks at us and goes, "Come on, guys, its a show. Move closer, get up here." So my friends drag me so close that there is no space between us and the stage - we were as close as you can get without being on the stage itself.

 

He grinned through their whole performance, stealing glances when I wasn't looking (I mostly couldn't take my eyes off my shoes).

 

 

So, that was the first time we "talked." Mind you, that was in the middle of high school.

 

So, upon everyone's return to classes, he decided it was cool to start waving at my friend who had been at the show - the one who didn't know him.

 

Never really said anything to her, just waved, unfailingly, every time he saw her in the halls. And still he only stared at me, and I him - because it was awkward, because we both know about "each other."

 

I noticed a pattern of him taking notice of my friends. He'd see us together for the first time, and those friends would suddenly report noticing that he watched them a lot more then.

 

We graduated and I therefore stopped seeing him almost every day, down to pretty much never.

 

Until one night this past summer.

 

I was at the local diner with another of my friends, and we were heading out to my car.

 

I glanced into the car parked next to mine, as a kid was kind of hanging out of the open door. I noticed he was the drummer of my crush's band, but didn't really think anything of it (and obviously did not make the connection that my crush could be in that car, too.)

 

My friend and I were waiting for other people to show up and meet us there, so we stayed outside my car to talk and giggle at inside jokes - very loudly. Glancing at the other car again, I saw a lot of silhouettes, and whispered to my friend, "Dude, theres like 500 kids in that car!"

 

After a few minutes, the other car starts and backs up very quickly. It backs into the light of a nearby lamppole, and my eyes fixate on the driver. It was my crush! It was him and a car full of his bandmates!

 

I stop breathing and turn quickly to my friend, "Dude, that's -crush's name-!"

 

Then the car suddenly stops on its way out, and two of his friends stick themselves out the window to freaking scream at us, "Hey! -name of local concert venue- Saturday!"

 

I pause, in shock, before raising my arm to let them know I heard, and yell back, "Word!"

 

Then they speed away.

 

We freaking FELL onto the ground screaming because we couldn't believe what just happened.

 

We went to see them play that Saturday, as promised.

 

At one point, as he was singing (I was standing on a couch so I could see better), and he stared right at me - and I stared right back. We maintained this eye contact for over 5 seconds at a time, and it basically proved to me that this kid meant business.

 

I stopped seeing him after that, as most everyone was leaving for college.

 

After a few months, I got a Facebook after loads of peer pressure from everyone I knew.

 

And I stumbled upon his through the friend he had started waving at.

 

I gathered myself and took the benefit of not having to see him the next day or anything, and sent him a message that read something like this:

"Well Mr. -his name-. I've been meaning to say hi to you like forever, but for some reason I never got around to it. So, yeah. Hi. =]"

 

He response was like this: "Hahaha, you shoulda said hi forever ago. Hi though, how's things?"

 

I personally couldn't find any other interpretation for it than a basic "I wanted you to say hi too."

 

We started talking like that, about casual things for almost 3 months.

 

In the middle of those three months, however, he suddenly began showing up where I was - and only whenever I advertised I would be there at that time via AIM away messages.

 

The first time it happened, we were at a local Dunkin Donuts. Sitting inside, we saw a car that resembled his best friend's car pull in, and joked about if they were in it.

 

As we left, I saw that mysterious car had parked basically diagonal to my car, and we all (there was a few of us) glanced at who was in it. It was my crush and his best friend. We all FLIPPED. OUT. As discretely as possible, because their windows were cracked.

 

When I looked at my crush, I saw he was slumped down in his seat, partially hidden by the dashboard (he's like 6 feet tall though so it didn't really work lol), looking down nervously.

 

After a bit (with me and him avoiding looking at each other), they drove away as meekly as possible, and sped off to unknown places.

 

After being a bunch of girls and looking around town for them, we were shocked to drive by Dunkin Donuts and see them standing inside getting coffee, meaning they specifically waited until we had left to go back.

 

Stuff like this. Has been happening. Every weekend. Sometimes most weekdays even.

 

Every time it happened, I had put something like "around town. dunkin donuts at 9!" in my away message, and they'd show up at 9:10.

 

As in, we had so many "Dude, its them." instances that we stopped beleiving in coincidences entirely.

 

Neither me or my crush ever mentioned seeing each other in the online FB convo.

 

We usually took at least a day or two to respond to each other's messages - sometimes it took him even a full week. He never exceeded exactly one week, though.

 

Initially, the first time he took so long to reply, I thought he was ignoring me and sent another message saying it was okay if he didn't want to talk anymore and that I'd see him around.

 

He sent a response the next day saying he never got a reply to his last message, and thought that I was the one that stopped talking! After that, we went back to the usual semi-awkward, curious exchanges.

 

His band had a show the next week at one point, and I didn't want to be the one stuck waiting for a response (since there's always a feeling of uncertainty that he'd reply if he took a few days) when I knew I had to face him - because how could I not go to that show?

 

So, moronically (I haven't forgiven myself for this), I ignored him the whole week even though he knew I was online. My excuse was, "I want to say hi in person at the show and break that barrier!"

 

The problem was, the second I saw him that night, I lost all my nerve.

 

I could not even look at the kid, let alone talk to him. I avoided all contact with him the entire show, and when I did look at him and our eyes met (only once this happened), I looked away quickly rather than holding it and smiling like I wanted to so badly.

 

My friend and I were kind of off away from the crowd in the back... And he came over and stood in the back too, leaning against a wall, all by himself - literally no one around him - staring at me. Making himself available for me to come over. Because, I'm sure he felt awkward to initiate contact first since he probably felt bad from being blatantly ignored the whole week. Standing there, all I could make myself do thanks to overwhelming fear, was whisper under my breath to myself, "I'm sorry."

 

At one point, the friend that was with him all the times they showed up places came over to him, and they BOTH stood there watching me. Clearly, most of his friends know about our "conversation." So do most of my friends.

 

He even waited until there were virtually no people left, walked past me real slow (me with my eyes glued to the floor), and looked hopefully over his shoulder at me, then seemed to sigh, and walked away.

 

I felt really bad about this. Like, I couldn't believe I'd been such a jerk. I had never snubbed anyone in my life like that... Mostly because there hasn't been anyone in my life like him until now.

 

I apologized to him in a message the next day, saying something like, "Blahhh, soo I really wanted to say hi to you the other night, butttt I didn't, 'cause I'm a retard. =( Forgive me? =]"

 

He responded, "Ahh, that's lameee, you shoulda said something! But of course I forgive you, haha." And then we picked up usual conversation again. I kind of gave him compliments without really realizing what I was doing, like, he said he'd put on a bad show the other night, and I said I thought he did fine, and he said thanks with a smiley face (smiley faces were very rare from him).

 

 

The most significant time we had him and his friend show up a random place was almost a repeat of the first.

 

Dunkin Donuts, a Thursday night, raining. No other kids were out but us. We see a suspicious car pull in, and even made the "Wouldn't it be funny if it was them?" joke.

 

Of course, it was them.

 

That time... They parked. Right. Behind. My car.

 

They know exactly what my car looks like. I could only think that was a little weird of them.

 

Might I mention, whenever we see them like this, they NEVER get out of their car - they always either wait until we leave or leave first and go somewhere else - they never do what they "came there to do!"

 

So, I'm freaking out again, saying "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening again!"

 

Their windows were cracked again, listening to what we were all saying, and when I looked at my crush, again, he was squished down in his seat looking down nervously.

 

Everyone with me had been there the first time, except one kid.

Unfortunately, that one kid changed everything.

 

He caught on that the people in the car behind mine were significant somehow, and decided to stick half his body out his car window. He points his arm straight at their car, which is literally only a few feet away, and shouts at the top of his lungs, "IS THAT THEM!? IS THAT THOSE GUYS!?!?"

 

I was in my car at that point, and could only gape over at him in shock of what he did.

 

According to those who were watching this happen (I couldn't see anything), my crush and his friend started laughing (the kid who shouted even screamed, "Hahaha, THEY'RE LAUGHING!") and someone said my crush nodded as if saying yes.

 

I started my car in a panic and started leaving, and my friend's car followed.

 

The second they saw us leaving, my crush's friend started his car and left too! Never got out! Never went into Dunkin Donuts like they had "come there for!" And again, I had even put in my away message where I would be that night!

 

I couldn't believe it!

 

We drove around for a bit until my friend said she saw them go to the diner next door to Dunkin Donuts, so we went to see. They were. I refused to go inside, so one of the other girls went.

 

She said that when she came in, my crush tapped the table to get his friend's attention and motioned to her, and his friend turned around in his seat to look.

 

His friend got up and started towards her, chuckling with a big smile, and acted like he was going to say something, but then just shook his head and kept walking.

 

When we saw them come out, his friend kept hitting him playfully

like guys tend to do when they tease and say things like "Duuude, she so likes you!"

 

A a few days later (I already hadn't replied to my crush for a few days and left on a trip the day after that incident), I sent him a message saying "Haha, I totally saw you at dunkin donuts the other night. I wasn't really paying attention, but you guys should have chilled with us or something! =P"

 

It's been been about a month, and he never replied to that.

 

The thing is, the convo got stale. The next time he logged in, "the other night" was already the last week, and I'm assuming he didn't really know what to say or he may have felt a little awkward from me calling him out on being "caught."

 

We stopped seeing them around for a little while.

 

Until his band had another show.

 

We got there first, and were relieved, because its kind of awkward when you have to walk by groups of people who you don't know/have awkward issues with (like my crush and his friends) and be so plainly visible.

 

As I reach for the door to get out of my car, his best friend's car zooms past. Followed by his other bandmate's car. We could not believe the timing of it.

 

They pull up on the opposite side of the street to unload their equipment, and then I knew exactly how they felt those times we popped up when they were awkwardly stuck in their car with no escape from being seen.

 

They didn't notice us for a while, and then suddenly my crush's eyes landed on my car, and right on me.

 

He stops the friend who was with him all those times, tapping his shoulder, smiles, and points at my car. His friend smiles too, and then they all wander off down the street. As they go, my crush keeps glancing back at us over his shoulder with a huge grin on his face.

 

Once they were out of sight, we scrambled out of the car and made a mad dash across the street. We went inside and settled onto a couch to watch another band play. The venue is a cafe so its very small and intimate.

 

Recently their band got a new member, and we didn't know who it was yet. We had noticed him finally outside when we saw him get out of one of their cars.

 

Sitting there watching the other band play, I looked up at one point and saw the new kid - standing by himself - watching us. Instantly, I realized he was like a spy. My crush and his band assumed we don't know who he is, so it was like they sent him in to see what we were doing.

 

He left after a bit, and then they all came in.

 

My crush sat basically adjacent to us on a nearby chair (while everyone he was with stood elsewhere...), crossed his legs, and stared. Thankfully, there were a lot of people there so it was easy to avoid his eyes.

 

Eventually they all gathered in the opposite corner of the room, and finally it was their turn to play.

 

My crush goes and gets his mic to start the sound check. By now, my friends and I are the only ones in the whole room sitting down. He starts the mic check and then looks at us, and goes, "If you're sitting down, you should really stand up." All smug-like. I couldn't believe he said that, on the mic and everything.

 

He didn't stop doing things like that. He would go "So uh, SOME PEOPLE should really stick around after the show." and "I repeat, do not leave!" or "There's a great band on after us... Everyone better stay."

 

He used "SOME PEOPLE" (in obvious reference to me and my friends...) multiple times but I can't really remember everything he said, my brain was too busy not believing he was saying it.

 

At one point, the drummer (the friend he's always with when they basically stalk me around town), stopped counting in the song and had a big grin on his face, so my crush went over to him and said into the mic for everyone to hear, "Come on, man, we gotta play the song... We got people watching us."

 

My friend and I looked at each other with our mouths wide open.

 

I couldn't stop the huge, shy smile on my face that was there the whole time they played.

 

He couldn't stop smiling either, seemingly for no reason... A reason only him, his friends, and me and my friends knew.

 

His friends kept playfully pushing and shoving him the whole night - not each other - only him!

 

The people I was with decided we should go outside even though it was like 20 degrees out.

 

So we stand there chatting, and eventually my crush and his band come out. Despite the close proximity (the outside is like an alleyway), we didn't say anything to each other. It was really hard for me to even look at him.

 

His friends grouped up into a circle kind of close to us, and he stood so that he could face me and see what I was doing.

 

At one point, the drummer pulled his car up right next to us to start putting his equipment in.

 

I asked one of my friends (she doesn't know details about the whole situation with the boys right next to us) what color she thought his car was (its hard to pick blue or green), so she points at it and says loudly, "That car? Its totally green!" My crush's friend notices and sees us all looking at his car from two inches away (because he just got out of the car), puts a big grin on, and raises his arm (like people do when they go "Aww yeah!") and goes to my crush, "Yo, all the girls wanna -somethingsomethingsomething-" No one really heard all of what he said, but it was obviously a reference to us.

 

After that, my crush and his friends went inside again, I went across the street to get something from my car, mostly because I was bored and cold and wanted to get away from the people I was with for a minute. Unfortunately, they all had to follow me like sheep and pile into my car.

 

I turned it on because we were freezing. Unfortunately, at that moment, my crush and his friends came out again, saw us in my running car, and assumed we were leaving, so they watched us for a bit before they started to leave too. Their cars were down the street, and as they went, some of them (including my crush and the main friend) had their fists up in the air like they were cheering or proud of themselves for something. When we drove past the parking lot they were in, we saw my crush and one of them play fighting or something, it was weird.

 

The DAY AFTER THAT, my friend and I are at a local gas station that has a big convenience store so some kids are there a lot. We're sitting in her car, about to get out, when we see the infamous car pull in. We start screaming, "OH GOD. WHAT DO WE DO? OH GOD." Because its almost impossible not to be seen if anyone looks in the car as they go in to pay for gas.

 

My crush's best friend gets out of the car, and we see the passenger's window is open despite it being like 30 degrees outside, so we assume theres someone with him.

 

After a minute of hard staring, we know its my crush sitting there in the car and not someone else.

 

The friend goes in to pay for his gas and comes back out without noticing us, and suddenly we want to not have them leave without knowing we're there so we can gauge their reaction.

 

So, we hop out and scurry inside, giggling and frantic worrying that they might come in too and make it really awkward.

 

We stand with our backs turned making coffee, and I glance over my shoulder at one point. I could not believe what I saw.

 

They pulled up in their car, right in front of the door. Lights on. And just sit there for a good 3 minutes. Then back up and leave.

 

My crush must have seen us get out and said something to the friend, and they pulled up like creepo's to make sure it was us.

 

We stayed at the gas station for a good 15 minutes, before piling into the car again, laughing and kind of in shock about what just happened.

 

We drive towards the usual Dunkin Donuts, and as we pull in, we see only one car with lights on.

 

It's theirs. They don't notice us go past because my friend's car is unfamiliar to them, and back up out of the space, and leave. They went to Dunkin Donuts to see if we would show up there, thinking we hadn't seen them at the gas station.

 

We turned around real quick to see where they were going.

 

They went back to the gas station! When they OBVIOUSLY didn't want anything from it, because the friend just went in for gas and my crush didn't get out for anything the first time they were there!

 

They sat parked for over 4 minutes with the car running, and then sat with it off for another 10 minutes! We couldn't believe it!

 

They went back to the gas station to check if we were still there!

The last time we drove by, their car was gone.

 

The other night, we went to Dunkin Donuts, and saw them walking inside, and freaked out and parked because we didn't know what else to do. There was no one but them in there and it would be unbelievably uncomfortable to go inside.

 

When they came out, my windows were down and I was playing music kind of loudly, and they stopped to look at my car for a few seconds before getting into theirs. The second I started to drive away, so did they!

 

They went a different way, but we drove by them on the street once.

 

Later, we went to the gas station, and sat in the car drinking coffee for a bit. They came and parked too but apparently didn't notice our car.

 

We had really been just wanting tea and coffee when we first went to DD, so we went back after a couple hours to get it. We were waiting for other people to show up first, and were sitting in the car with the lights on. In the middle of conversation, my friend goes, "Dude, thats not them, is it?"

I look over at the car coming in, and say, "Yeah. It is. It's them." Because it WAS. They saw me staring at their car, and kind of drifted by at 5 miles per hour, then went straight out the back exit and left.

 

They had ALREADY been to DD that night and ALREADY had their coffee.

 

 

 

I really want to be really honest and message him again, asking why we stare(d) at each other so much all the time, ask if he wants to hang out or not, and if not then why did he do everything he did/does, what he means by what he's doing (stalking and no talking), and even bring up the whole "both stalking each other" thing.

 

I get so nervous whenever he's around and I can't make myself say anything to either of them, and apparently neither can they.

 

His best friend has come close to saying something to me - once I looked up at a Halloween festival thing their band played at to see him standing maybe 5 inches in front of me, like he was friends with me - that close.

 

He stayed for a good few seconds, looking at something else but obviously just avoiding my eyes (with a kid he was with standing waiting behind him too.

 

I almost went "...Hi?" but he walked away. It was almost like he was being a messenger for my crush (who had been there staring at me) but lost his nerve.

 

Extreme, amazing thanks to anyone who even just skimmed this.

 

 

I don't know how to go about dealing with this!

 

Do you think I'm right about him liking me back?

 

My friend called me all excited a few months after we had been talking (I can't see most of his profile and he can't see most of mine) and told me that he put something extremely interesting on his profile:

 

"And I need a girlfriend... But its not like anyone checks this..."

 

So, if no one checks it, why did he put it there?

He wanted SOMEONE he knows looks at his Facebook to see it!

 

Who's a certain girl he makes eyes at communicating with him on FB? ME.

 

He was so obviously pointing out that he's single and looking!

 

So why doesn't he just say something to me? Even online? Anything!

 

If he didn't like me I'd think he would avoid me like most people do when they get the feeling someone likes them but don't like them back - but he practically stalks me!

 

I know this is the longest thing, EVER, but its really that complicated and every detail feels that important!

 

This is really taking over my entire existence!

 

What can I do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a modern-day version of 'Pride & Prejudice' if ever I saw one! You could definitely turn this into a book! I think you should just try and focus on work or study (or writing a best-seller), until he comes around. And when you see him next, just smile and say, "Hi." If he doesn't take the bait, he's obviously not that keen. Then, just move on, and write that novel!

[Shnuggles]

Didn't read the post but did read the replies. Way too long. Sounds like you like this boy but he isnt asking you out. Ask him out for a coffee at a nice cafe', make friends then move on if you both like each other.

 

Long posts can be annoying, someone quoting them is.. worse.

[Citizen Erased]

Didn't read the post but did read the replies. Way too long. Sounds like you like this boy but he isnt asking you out. Ask him out for a coffee at a nice cafe', make friends then move on if you both like each other.

Long posts can be annoying, someone quoting them is.. worse.

 

My thoughts exactly. Please don't anyone do that again.