Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Does she battle with or has she ever battled with a weight problem? Has she ever asked you if you think she's too chubby? Her extreme reactions make me wonder if this is the case.
MusicChick24 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 As much as I wouldn't want to hear this from my bf, growing up and maturing is about knowing a joke from a crude comment. My bf tells me I'm fat and we jab each other in the ribs so to speak constantly...and we just say "screw you" and raise the middle finger at each other. It's fun and I think the joking is what keeps us together really. However, I know what it's like to be so insecure that even a joke sounds like an insult and as mentioned if she has battled or is battling a weight problem I understand where she is coming from being hurt. But cutting him off and refusing to accept his appologies isn't fair. Sh*t even if he shouldn't have said it, he took the initiative to appologize extensively and if it's not enough for her...maybe it's time to move on. <3
kashmir Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 There's this girl I've been screwing around with for the last year or so. She has a noticeable gap in between her teeth, but is otherwise really cute. This one night at this party she wouldn't stop ripping on me, so I said to her, "Why don't you shut up and go widen that gap between your teeth?" She didn't say another word to me that night, lol. Then the next time she saw me she was especially critical of my man-boobs, which if anything is my achilles' heal. Can't say I didn't deserve it. But then I harped on how her voice sounds like a 5 year old boy. That's how it works when you're young. When someone really gets offended then it just throws everything out of wack. Save getting offended for when people are actually physically bothering you.
Lizzie60 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 She's a big baby.. she called you a mouse.. you called her a pig.. you apologize.. she ignores you.. Ignore her now.. and I bet you she will get back to you.. I bet my life on this one. She is just being a little spoiled brat and she probably expect you to lick her shoes.. don't be a doormat and don't give in to her silly game. Ignore the brat!
Author djdiablo Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Lots of replies. I appreciate every single one of them. Thank you kindly. UPDATE: I talked to my mate that I trust very much with this type of stuff. He told me two things: 1. "YOU obviously need to give her the card. I suggest you don't but if you do, do not mention anything about calling her a pig. Mention about how you replied with another animal movie and the first one that came out was Babe, a rather popular one. You blundered. You did not mean to hurt her feelings. You were only trying to be funny. Whatever you do, DO NOT apologize again. No woman likes a wussy. If she fails to get over this, there is no point in keeping this relationship going." 2. When you give her the card write something like "These are the 13 things I love about you" and subtly focus on her looks, details of her personality and her behavior that you like." Focus on the POSITIVE and how much you care about her. She can then keep the card. No apologies. No pigs. Just an explanation and a statement that you care about her in many ways. I thought the above was VERY sound advice and it reiterated certain posts here. So I wrote the card and I was going to deliver it in her mailbox. But then she txted me with "Can you come over tomorrow morning?". As much as I wanted to send her a message back with "YES YES YES I want to come over and move on" I said "I would like that very much. See you then!". So now I am going to see her in a few hours. If it works out I will give her the card anyway. If not, well then it wasn't even worth worrying about.
Taramere Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I like the sound of your friend. He seems very level-headed, and he's avoided getting into judgements about whether she's been over sensitive or you've not been sensitive enough. Judgements like those are irrelevant really, because all they do is encourage debate ad nauseam about how many pinches of sensitivity and how many dollops of common sense should be used in a perfect person recipe. Your friend has cut to the chase...ie finding a solution to this, without having anyone tried, convicted and executed for being imperfect.
Rebellious Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 A picture of you with a pig, that's so funny! She probably has no brothers or she'd know that guys say things that they don't mean in a bad way. Find another p... girl with a better sense of humor to date:bunny:
Gremio Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I honestly believe she is just a child, if not in age, but in mind. Obviously if she blows up over one word, she will have deeper issues as she grows older. This is a huge red flag to run far away. You should be glad you weren't too far invested before you found out she is a paranoid schizophrenic.
BentSpine Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 If she still wants an explanation, tell her she constantly makes you think about porking.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 As a woman, I have to agree with kashmir here. Wow, women are so sensitive... I could imagine saying this. She tells me, "You look like the mouse in this movie." And I respond back quickly, "And you can be the pig." And then she comes back with an even better stab. Damnit, tell her to wake up and stop being so fragile...IT WAS A JOKE.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I would think your comment was offensive if I am struggling with my weight. Buy if she isnt then she made a big deal out of nothing.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 You haven't truly been in love then because real love isn't conditional on those things. It is actually usually the man putting on the weight in a relationship. But I do hope you have have the chance to truly feel love with a woman someday; it has nothing to do with lovehandles. I beg to differ - love handles are love handles are love handles, period! Sure, not smooth at all to call her on it in front of her friends (duh.../), but other than that I see no problem with informing your girl that she's getting sloppy and it might be time to hit the gym more regulagly. Would happily join her. I wouldn't expect she to accept me growing a beer belly, why should it be the other way around. Girls - no, we don't love you as much when you put on weight. Just so you know . Fat increases the likelihood of heart attack and of unexplained aloofness from your boyfriend
catastrophe Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 Relationship test....if she, upon hearing your response to her mouse joke, had said "bite me" and given you the finger, she would've been a keeper hear, hear. If she can't take a little joke, in clear response to her joke - she is real piece of work! My girlfriend would have had a great comeback, no doubt something to do with the size of my... well, anyway- Just oink every time you see her. Then act completely normal. People who ruin this world by being oversensitive idiots deserve to be f*cked with.
catastrophe Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 So what happened when you saw her again?
JohnnyBlaze Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 You know exactly what to say. Don't give any long-winded explanations, just stick with the basics. "It was a stupid guy thing to say. I was just teasing; I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, honey". We've all said it, we'll all say it again. Related story: years ago, I was with this chick who constantly obsessed over her weight. She was about 130; I thought she looked great, but she didn't agree. One day, while suffering through another episode of Oprah (she loved watching that show), I just got fed up with constantly having to reassure her about her weight. I glanced at the TV, glanced back at her, glanced at the TV, glanced back at her again and said "you know, honey? You kinda look like Oprah," at which point she smacked me...hard. Her brother, who was with hanging out with us at the time, was laughing. So, being the good guy that I am, I wrapped my arm around her, snuggled her close, and said in my sweetest, lovey-dovey voice "honey, you know I'm kidding. You don't look anything like Oprah. You're white." At this point, I fell off the couch (aided by a strong shove from her), and her brother fell out of his chair laughing. It took her about two days, but she got over it. To this day, her brother still remembers it, though!
movingonandon Posted December 23, 2008 Posted December 23, 2008 You haven't truly been in love then because real love isn't conditional on those things. It is actually usually the man putting on the weight in a relationship. But I do hope you have have the chance to truly feel love with a woman someday; it has nothing to do with lovehandles. I generally agree, but there is an important fine line here. True love is no excuse for people to fall apart and let go. This is borderline like saying "if you love me, my nasty gut won't matter to you", and it is really the wrong way to put it. I'd still love my girlfreiand if she temporarily put on some weight for some reason, but I will not be as attracted to her as I was before she did, and there is no point in pretending. So, if unadressed for a long time, the weight issue WILL cause strain in the relaitonship, no matter how loving it was to begin with.
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