djdiablo Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 So I have a great night with my girl, then I sleep at her house and we have a great day. Perfect bliss. At night we go to a movie with her dad and her sister. Her and I have a great time before the movie. We walk around, kiss, hug, etc. Then while we are waiting for some nachos, she comments that I look like the mouse in some new movie coming out, I laugh and then I say JOKINGLY "Hahaha. Well you look like a pig.". I know, BAAAD MOVE!!! Stupid, stupid move. You don't need to tell me. The rest of the night she doesn't look at me or touch me or address me, she rejects my call afterward and does not communicate. The silent treatment. So I email her an honest apology with a photo of me and a pig (the photos were very similar and I described the similarities - I was making fun of myself) and leave a nice voicemail. I called her again about an hour ago after work today and she rejected my call again. What is my next move? I obviously want to make it up to her. I was debating writing a card and dropping it off in her mailbox.
prettybaby Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Wow, you sure messed up! what the hell Don't do anything. You've already apologized several times, and once more isn't gonna make a difference. She's gonna need some time to cool off about this. I'd personally dump you, but who knows, she may give you a second chance and contact you within a week or so. In any case, sit back for a while now. You can write that card in a week or two if she hasn't called you back by then.
jason83 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Yeah...I made a similar bad moves once and said "love handles" around my girlfriend at the time and her 5 closest female friends. Didn't hear the end of that one for a looooooong time....and was told repeatedly that was NOT acceptable to say. You apologized and learned your lesson. Hopefully she will come around
JamesM Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 How old are you? And sending a picture of you with a pig can also be taken as if it is you with her. That would have been my first impression. If you had said she looks like the pig in the movie (if there was one), then you would be okay. Or if you compared her to another character in the movie, then you would be okay. But you did not. Her comparison of you to the mouse may not have been an insult. It may have been simply a remark of a kidding comment. By saying "a pig," you turned it into an insult. What can you do? Grovel and grovel. Hope she realizes it was a joke along the lines of hers. If you do not want to keep dating her, then don't bother.
Taramere Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Further apologies might just worsen matters. You could keep saying "I'm sorry I called you a pig" and she could keep hearing "I'm sorry you look like a pig." You're going to have to find a way of making her feel pretty again. Something that doesn't involve dressing up as Kermit the Frog and claiming to love the smell of pork on your fingers.
carhill Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Relationship test....if she, upon hearing your response to her mouse joke, had said "bite me" and given you the finger, she would've been a keeper
movingonandon Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Yeah...I made a similar bad moves once and said "love handles" around my girlfriend at the time and her 5 closest female friends. Didn't hear the end of that one for a looooooong time....and was told repeatedly that was NOT acceptable to say. You apologized and learned your lesson. Hopefully she will come around I beg to differ - love handles are love handles are love handles, period! Sure, not smooth at all to call her on it in front of her friends (duh.../), but other than that I see no problem with informing your girl that she's getting sloppy and it might be time to hit the gym more regulagly. Would happily join her. I wouldn't expect she to accept me growing a beer belly, why should it be the other way around. Girls - no, we don't love you as much when you put on weight. Just so you know . Fat increases the likelihood of heart attack and of unexplained aloofness from your boyfriend
2sure Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 For the rest of her life any reference to the word PIG is going to bring back the memory of being called one by a date. By you,specifically. So...if she doesnt develope a sense of humor in a few days, show her that you feel so bad about this that you joined a SUPPORT FORUM. If that isnt sweet and sincere , I dont what is. If she does look here, you might want to spend some time telling us all about how pretty she is. If she doesnt...youve learned a great a lesson about women and your next girlfriend will really appreciate it.
kashmir Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Wow, women are so sensitive... I could imagine saying this. She tells me, "You look like the mouse in this movie." And I respond back quickly, "And you can be the pig." And then she comes back with an even better stab. Damnit, tell her to wake up and stop being so fragile...IT WAS A JOKE.
Taramere Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Is this the mouse she was referring to, djdiablo?
whichwayisup Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 She needs to accept your apology and get over it. Yes, you shouldn't have said it, but it flew out of your mouth..That's an OOPS moment, foot in mouth disease as some call it. You've called, left messages, emailed her and she's still ignoring you. Back off and let her contact you. IF by chance she walks away because of that pig comment, then you don't want her as your gf. It was a joke, maybe bad wording/timing, whatever, but she has to realize you are sorry and it wasn't meant to hurt her.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 From now on everytime she sees you or look at herself in the mirror, she's going to think that she's overweight. Great help for her self- esteem.
kashmir Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 From now on everytime she sees you or look at herself in the mirror, she's going to think that she's overweight. Great help for her self- esteem. It's not his problem if she's so insecure that she can't take a stupid little comment from her boyfriend and isn't serious at all.
D-Lish Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I think she's over reacting! My ex used to jokingly refer to me as a "dirty whore" in a deep throaty voice... then we'd laugh our ass's off. Some people have no sense of humour.
sb129 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 (But not multiple cards.) as WWIU says, she has to accept your apology at some point otherwise this is going to get blown way out of proportion.
sb129 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I think she's over reacting! My ex used to jokingly refer to me as a "dirty whore" in a deep throaty voice... then we'd laugh our ass's off. Some people have no sense of humour. I would find that funny. I also wouldn't get so P8ssed at the pig comment. However they do sound quite young and she sounds quite insecure. Reassurance is a nice thing, but he shouldn't have to overdo it.
kashmir Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I think she's over reacting! My ex used to jokingly refer to me as a "dirty whore" in a deep throaty voice... then we'd laugh our ass's off. Some people have no sense of humour. Exactly! I was shocked to hear some women saying they'd a dump him. Way to blow something out of proportion...
D-Lish Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 It does sound as if it's being blown way out of proportion. You've apologized enough!!! If anything, her being angry this long over something so minimal would make ME angry. It was a slip of the tongue...that's all. Geesh.
sb129 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 ??? Someone said they would dump him over this?? THATS over-reacting. I would have been single long ago if that was the case!
Bells Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 So I have a great night with my girl, then I sleep at her house and we have a great day. Perfect bliss. At night we go to a movie with her dad and her sister. Her and I have a great time before the movie. We walk around, kiss, hug, etc. Then while we are waiting for some nachos, she comments that I look like the mouse in some new movie coming out, I laugh and then I say JOKINGLY "Hahaha. Well you look like a pig.". I know, BAAAD MOVE!!! Stupid, stupid move. You don't need to tell me. The rest of the night she doesn't look at me or touch me or address me, she rejects my call afterward and does not communicate. The silent treatment. So I email her an honest apology with a photo of me and a pig (the photos were very similar and I described the similarities - I was making fun of myself) and leave a nice voicemail. I called her again about an hour ago after work today and she rejected my call again. What is my next move? I obviously want to make it up to her. I was debating writing a card and dropping it off in her mailbox. High 5 dude....great comeback!! LOL! But.....you can forget bout her ever being happy about what said. lol....j/k
allina Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Did you mean that she looked like a cute little piggy, like a cartoon, or like a fat pig stuffing her face? I actually think you messed up almost as much in the way you apologized up and down. She blew it waaaaaaaay out of proportion, is she insecure about her looks or weight? What you should have said instead of the million I'm sorrys is "What did I say wrong? you said I looked like that mouse and I joked saying you looked like a little piglet." If she said anything about comparing her to a pig in a negative/fat way act like that never even crossed your mind and tell her she's beautiful and you never even thought of it that way so you had no idea she did. All the apologies suggest you actually have something to apologize about and like you did mean it in a negative way.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 It's not his problem if she's so insecure that she can't take a stupid little comment from her boyfriend and isn't serious at all. Yes Kashmir, she is insecure. I can tell that the the OP and his gf are barely into their twenties, and age plays an important factor. Girls are more sensitive at that age and they can take offense when the guy they think they're " in love" with comments that she's a pig. She could just be growing into her own body and still have a little problem with how people see her.
CommitmentPhobe Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Get her a nice box of truffles for christmas and I'm sure she''ll forgive you.
kashmir Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Yes Kashmir, she is insecure. I can tell that the the OP and his gf are barely into their twenties, and age plays an important factor. Girls are more sensitive at that age and they can take offense when the guy they think they're " in love" with comments that she's a pig. She could just be growing into her own body and still have a little problem with how people see her. I just get pissed when people are so overly-sensitive. Grow up being picked on and physically abused for the way you look by people who really wanted to hurt you, and a comment like the OP's in this context looks like a compliment. Maybe she was fat as kid and a teen, but if she was and is now in shape then she should have a pretty tough skin when it comes to this stuff. She's probably the type that's always been slender and beautiful and can't take any thing that might even imply negativity. Get her a nice box of truffles for christmas and I'm sure she''ll forgive you. And make sure to have a nice Christmas breakfast, full of bacon and sausage.
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