Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 No offense - are you sure you're even in his league? You must be realistic about this things.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 In his league? What kind of crap is that? Why are you trying to put her down, since that is the only reason you would ask such a ridiculous question? My question: is he in HER league?
Author spookie Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 OMG I feel your pain. That's the way I feel about my crush. He's tall, with broad shoulders, very manly but with a boyish cute face. He's so yummy. He teases me so much too. He will be really affectionate, hugging me and rubbing my back, telling me that his day always gets better when I show up. I had a sex dream with him in it the other day. Wow, that was amazing. He's kind of a jerk, though. He would make a terrible boyfriend. You don't want to let it go, don't fool yourself. You're frustrated but you love it. It feeds many fantasies for you. I'm SO frustrated. It's been MONTHS since my fave hobby has been rubbing up on various surfaces in my apartment pretending he's there and I'm going in for a hug. That's not NORMAL.
Author spookie Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 No offense - are you sure you're even in his league? You must be realistic about this things. Haha... I don't believe in leagues.
Nemo Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I'm SO frustrated. Tell him that the only package you're interested in this Christmas is the one between his legs. (Hopefully at this point he will bend over slightly, and you can say "Made you look!")
shadowplay Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 No offense - are you sure you're even in his league? You must be realistic about this things. I've seen both of their pictures and Spookie is objectively more attractive, so that's a non-issue.
shadowplay Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 This is so frustrating. He has so many sides. There's confident, arrogant Jack. The Jack that scares me at meetings, talking down at people with that stubborn, cocky smile as he raps his hang on the table like he's on coke or something cause he's so far ahead of everyone, in each direction. He's smart, strong, intoxicatingly masculine, and I can see what all women must see in him, and it turns me on. I lose myself in him when he's like this. It isn't good. I came in on Monday determined to be over it. And Monday went well. We barely talked. But then today. He spent the morning going completely out of his way to make sure something worked out for me, going way above and beyond what a good boss would do. He showed tremendous consideration, remembering and acting on something small I'd mentioned months ago. He spent hours going over my work with me, gently teasing me, his genuine, warm, boyish smile lighting up his face. And, the feeling is so powerful, I can't deny it. Call it what you will, but I've only felt it with one other person, and it wasn't this intense. I love him. I'm not getting it wrong. :(:(:( Wow, your description of how he relates to you and others sounds eerily similar to how Jake (also my boss) was when I first met him. Especially his cocky, nervous energy "like he's on coke." I find that kind of fiery intelligence so enticing. And the way he relates to you one on one in a really intimate way, as if you're special because he doesn't show that warmth with others. Jake would do the same thing. Does he use your name a lot too? That combination of cocky on the exterior with a hint of softness beneath is so enchanting. I feel like it's all an act, though, and these guys wouldn't be good in relationships. I remember once this guy I knew told me that Jake was really controlling and mean to his girlfriend, that they looked miserable together. Maybe hearing others' opinions of him might sober you up.
510 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 High demand men tend to create demand. It's an ego feed. Most women aren't aggressive enough to pursue a man unless he puts out strong signals that he's interested. Of course you'll have a small percentage of women who have the guts to do this. You have to ask yourself how serious a guy is, when he's broadcasting strong interest to so many women. That's one big ego. Time to pull back and shut down on this guy. RUNNNNNNNNN unless you want to play the game. If so, you'd better play it much, much better. What you say is very true.. I was once one of those kind of women that loved to chase dogs.. ego driven men.. I loved it.. I would watch them come in the club surveying like they were God's gift. I'd sit back with my girls with a drink in my hand and watch the women pounce. Hugging em, buying em drinks, etc. Then I would wait, walk upto them introduce myself.. get a dance or two. And quickly return to my hideout.. it would be funny because me and my girls would watch them move about the club looking for me. It was exciting to see how hard they would look and find me sitting behind 10 or 15 people. We would exchange numbers, start dating and by then I was bored. Most of them time I found they were always trying to spend more time with me than I wanted to. They couldn't believe it because they were so used to women crawling. I was young and it was fuuuuun. Today I could still do the same thing, but its not fun anymore.. now when they approach I just tell them I'm not interested because I can see all the attention they get.. so unless you are ready to be on the prowl and beat them at their own game.. leave it alone.. like I said in another post.. its a game between cats and dogs and not everyone has the heart for it.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 I've seen both of their pictures and Spookie is objectively more attractive, so that's a non-issue. Thanks. =)
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 Wow, your description of how he relates to you and others sounds eerily similar to how Jake (also my boss) was when I first met him. Especially his cocky, nervous energy "like he's on coke." I find that kind of fiery intelligence so enticing. And the way he relates to you one on one in a really intimate way, as if you're special because he doesn't show that warmth with others. Jake would do the same thing. Does he use your name a lot too? That combination of cocky on the exterior with a hint of softness beneath is so enchanting. I feel like it's all an act, though, and these guys wouldn't be good in relationships. I remember once this guy I knew told me that Jake was really controlling and mean to his girlfriend, that they looked miserable together. Maybe hearing others' opinions of him might sober you up. Heh. That's THE most enticing combination for me, personality-wise: someone who is confident and hard to the world but soft inside, willing to be loved. I don't know if he'd be a bad boyfriend. Of course if he doesn't like me it's pretty irrelevent, but what about to someone he was interested in? I have no idea. He sounds wistful when he's talking to others about their kids, like he feels his clock ticking and he wants one. And one time he mentioned to me what he'd name his son. That made me both nervous and relieved.... does desire for a family translate to someone being good relationship material?
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Get your feet back onto the ground spook. No one belongs on a God-like pedestal. He's one of millions of driven men, who excel in the workplace. He's human and has all the human foibles. That he appears to be capable and confident, is what you and many women find attractive in a man. Do yourself and him a favour. Knock him off the altar and see him for what he is.
allina Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 That made me both nervous and relieved.... does desire for a family translate to someone being good relationship material? It can, it definitely suggests that he wants to love and care for people. That and he wants commitment, so he probably won't be one of those guys that doesn't want to be "tied down." I think this situation is being over analyzed a bit. I wouldn't think he's a jerk or full of himself based on FB comments he gets You like him because you enjoy being around him, he's smart and successful. I see nothing wrong with it.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 Do yourself and him a favour. Knock him off the altar and see him for what he is. I like him even more in the rare instances I'm able to do that, to connect to him for who he is. It's moments like that, when he's just a normal, regular person to me, that really make me feel like I love him.
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I like him even more in the rare instances I'm able to do that, to connect to him for who he is. It's moments like that, when he's just a normal, regular person to me, that really make me feel like I love him. I'm going to call b/s. He literally glows in the dark for you. When you "connect" with him, it's on an inferior to superior basis.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 I'm going to call b/s. He literally glows in the dark for you. When you "connect" with him, it's on an inferior to superior basis. Nah. In real life I actually feel really comfortable around him, much more so than most people I meet and almost everyone else I work with. We have a pretty casual relationship, and the fact that he puts me at ease is a big reason I like him.
moonshadow Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I broke down crying in the bathroom at work today. He came over to my bay to talk to some of the guys about girls. One them he dated but "no dice" and another one is hot but an alcoholic. He is all the boys I've ever loved in high school, outgoing, intelligent, athletic; and his rejection is playing on all my worst insecurities. (At this point I think our lack of relationship is due not to the fact that he's my boss, but the fact that he's not interested, in me.) Hearing his laughter all day long has become likes nails on a chalkboard and I am so stressed out at work I know it must show through. I have to take walks every so often or I freak out and hyperventilate. I don't know what to do. I'm considering looking for another job. You should seriously seek professional help. You sound overly-dramatic and not the least bit 'stable.'
xpaperxcutx Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Aww Spookie, I know how it feels. I call my emotions an obsession, wanting someone I can't have. Although I can't ever see you being so dejected this way. I admire you S, for being able to face your all your past obstacles and reaching the place you are now, but when it comes to relationships, it seems even the strongest women meet their matches.
510 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 You should seriously seek professional help. You sound overly-dramatic and not the least bit 'stable.' thats what I was thinking which is why I gave my story about cats and dogs. You can't go off and start crying about it.. so leave it alone if you can't handle it.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I've seen both of their pictures and Spookie is objectively more attractive, so that's a non-issue. I wasn't really necessarily talking "looks" leagues, though. Maybe he doesn't want to date an exstripper, exalcie, pothead, etc. This doesn't make him bad...just in a different league.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Meet 4 Coffee... They are auditioning currently for parts in Mean Girls 2. Sounds like you have the qualifications. Spookie, never let anyone dictate where you can go in life or how high you should aim. Somehow, I don't think that will be a problem.
Storyrider Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 There's no such thing as a league. There are only people who imagine they are in a certain league. If it makes them feel better, leave them to their comforting delusion, I say.
Nemo Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 There's no such thing as a league. There are only people who imagine they are in a certain league. If it makes them feel better, leave them to their comforting delusion, I say. Exactly. Leagues are for sports. If love was a sport, then everyone would deserve their own Super Bowl.
Storyrider Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Exactly. Leagues are for sports. If love was a sport, then everyone would deserve their own Super Bowl. You should write a song.
johan Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Most of us have a hard time even getting into the playoffs.
Storyrider Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Most of us have a hard time even getting into the playoffs. Little league.
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