Prim&proper Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Have you ever believe that the relationship ended for a good reason and that there is no hope of reconciling but yet you still hope that the ex will contact you? My ex and I were together for 14 months. He dumped me a week ago saying that he knows I want marriage and children and that he doesn't believe that he can have children with someone unless there is a deep connection with that someone. A deep connection means when two people are so connected, the barriers are completely gone and they are very open with each other. We have a communicative honest relationship and we can talk about anything. He says he feels connected to me but he doesn't feel this deep connection. This deep connection he only has with his male best friend of 5 years. He says that he believes we can't get to that point because our philosophy of life is too different. And he doesn't want to waste 2 years of my life trying to figure it out and then it doesn't happen because then he would feel really bad about it (he's 37, I'm 33). Anyway, I accept that to him the relationship didn't have what he is looking for. I accept the reason it should end. I don't have any anger towards him, though I'm sad that the relationship has ended. I don't want to contact him but I don't because I have nothing to say to him. I know he won't contact me because he knows I believe in NC, but I can't help wanting, hoping and thinking that he would contact me. I feel like i'm in going around in circles in my head. Am I just going crazy?
sedgwick Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I'm doing the same thing. I honestly thought, based on everything he said, that we did have that deep connection -- and then, one day, suddenly, "things changed" for him and he was gone. He literally changed overnight. He did call me this past summer (we'd been broken up almost a year), but I told him it was all or nothing, I couldn't be his friend. I reiterated to him that I loved him, and hung up. That was the last time I heard from him. I spend a lot of time thinking how much we had in common, how we both felt (or I thought he felt) we had this insane connection we'd never had with anyone else. I think how stupid and bizarre it was that he gave me a ridiculous reason and took off and I never saw him again. I keep thinking HOW could you not want to be with someone who loves you as much as I love him? We never really had any problems, and we had a great time together. I thought it was an amazing relationship. I drive myself crazy wanting him to call me or get in touch or whatever. Talk about no closure.
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