hanginthere Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Hi, I met this guy through some friends about a month ago and we have been texting everyday since then. He lives an hour + away from me and has come to see me twice. I know that we like each other, but he still talks about an ex that he broke with about 3 months ago, not a lot but still. This girl was some pageant winner, she wants to get back together but he says he does not. It makes me feel a bit insincere looks wise. I am no pageant winner but I know that I am good looking by the responses I get from other guys. I am not liking the looks thing I am not a shallow person, yes you do have to be attracted to someone. What should I think, is he into me or not?
BikerBeagle Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 First, I would say he isn't completely over his ex and that you are a rebound. That, in and of itself, doesn't bode well for your relationship. Secondly, without knowing why they broke up, it's hard to say if he's telling the truth about not wanting to get back with her ...but the fact that she wants to get back with him (and is maybe actively chasing him?) also doesn't work in your favor. Third, you seem to have some real self-esteem and security issues that you really need to get a handle on, or they will have a huge negative impact on your relationship, even if it succeeds through the first 2 obstacles.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I agree with BB that he isn't over his ex. He will continue to discuss her until he is over her and you have no idea how much longer that will take. I'd suggest breaking it off with him because he sounds like he could go back to his ex at any time (despite his claims that he won't). You have only seen each twice in a month, plus he lives over an hour away. That's a huge risk too. If you won't be able to trust him your relationship will NEVER work out.
Author hanginthere Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 I don't agree with you on the self-esteem issues, anyone would have a problem with a person that they are currently seeing that has an ex-beauty queen. Is is natural to question when you have not been one.
Shygirl15 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I agree. That judgement came too quick. You're at a very early stage of the relationship and it's okay to question these type of situations because you still don't know each other well yet. But I also agree with others that he's likely not over his ex. If you decide to proceed with him anyway, then do so carefully. Guard your feelings and do not invest emotionally. I do not see his living 1 hour away a big issue. Frankly, 1 hour is not even that far, you can easily see one another as often as you want if you're determined to. Just take one step at a time and see. Hope it works out.
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