amokqq Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I joined the forum just about 2 weeks ago, wrote my story, but I was under so much pressure it came really chaotic. So I'll make things short. I'm 22 she is 21, we broke up 6 months ago, I went NC she found someone else, called me one day, I was in good shape(new job, happy and stuff) she said she make a mistake, she told me she loved me. We were supposed to get back together, she dumped the guy. Later on she was thinking she was pregnant with that guy, got back with him for a while(for the sake of the child), ofc dumped me, did all the tests - which came out negative... she dumped the guy again and we went NC for that period. She finally called me and wanted to meet I said "no", but eventually met with her. We had a cool night, had sex later on, she told me she loved me, I did also. Later on SHE went NC for no apparent reason... I got in contact we met... Had fun, had sex.. bla bla bla, love and stuff. Ok next day she says she needs space to clear out her stuff, does not want to meet for a while. Ofc I have bad thoughts about it, but let her have her time. 2 days later SHE calls me to met... she starts hugging and kissing me, says she loves me, same thing, and does want to met more often. hmm... I want to take her to a party 2 days later, she calls it off 3 hours before it saying she is sick. Ummm... guys, I do love this girl very much... but I have mixed feeling, she broke NC! she said she wants me back! Whats going on! I really don't understand. Some sort of game of domination? I'm sorry for the style of my story but I feel so indifferent atm, burnt out inside... I going nuts.
BikerBeagle Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 If I was a betting man, I'd say she is bouncing back and forth between you and this other guy. Stop being so available to her whenever she wants to jump back over to your side, see what happens.
Geishawhelk Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 No mate, you know don't you? You know exactly what you have to do. And this time, you have to mean it. She's keeping you on a string, as second fiddle. She's always come back to you when the first option has crashed. You are definitely the bounce guy. So go NC. Totally, completely, 100%. And STICK TO IT.
Author amokqq Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 Oh... It's good to read an opinion of people that don't have anything to do with my situation. If I understand this the right way, she thinks she has got me no matter what. I'll have to show that is not true and she can lose me forever... grrr I got the chills saying that. Ok NC screw it, I'll take on more work not to think about it... Hope you guys will be here to help me out when I start to break. This forum is like family... really I don't speak to anybody about this situation. Once again, my medicine is NC+ stop being her puppy, she clears her stuff up= green light, she doesn't well... green light also:) to a new life. Damnit, does the heart always win the battle with your brain?
Geishawhelk Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Only if you let reason fly out of the window.
sedgwick Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Sedge ofc = of course Ah yes, I guess that space and those extra five letters are way too time-consuming to type.
Author amokqq Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 I was supposed to be NC. But I drank a few beers yesterday... and, well, texted my ex. Yeah, guess what? I felt worse ans she didn't reply... I knew whats going to happen yet I still texted. We were supposed to go to a party together. She, like always said she is sick/busy. I texted her later on that everything is fine, and that we will meet some other day, and added that probably she won't came anyway, but I'll try:P Damn! How pathetic am I... One more thing. What is NC for? Is the purpose of NC to heal yourself or make your ex gf/bf want to call you? Do you go NC when you want to forget or get her/him back?
Dmoney28 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 NC is used to help yourself heal. It prevents your ex from keeping that emotional scar open by trying to keep you in thier life. Sometimes a side effect is they become more interested because you havent contacted them after time. This dosent mean they want you back, but it sometimes forces those on the fence to make a final choice
Author amokqq Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 Well, Its been a few days of NC, still feeling like crap... Sadly I broke NC yesterday. I texted and asked if everything is fine. short. She answered, told me I have nothing to worry about. Told me that her ex(rebound guy) visited her to give back some stuff, she said its over between them and she will never see the guy again. She added that she is sick but after New Years we will meet. She also added that she loves me. So I broke NC but *TADA* I actually feel better. I really didn't think she would reply, but there ya go:P So I guessing everything is ok... I see hope again. Let's see for how long. I not really sure if we are together or not... I know that sounds funny, but the whole situation is so crazy. Ah well lets see where this takes me now.
Author amokqq Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 On the other hand, she could be lying... maybe... think I'm paranoid:P But somehow out of nowhere I get these thoughts that she actually is with her rebound ex NOW doing stuff I don't want to know. Nah, It's just me getting jealous and paranoid. Part of the game I guess. But if we want this to workout I think I have to trust her. Yup. Ps Will keep this updated to the very end(whatever it is).
againstallodds Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 amoq, I think you are wasting your time with this relationship. Even if you get her back do you think it will last? Are you that forgiving? I guess you're still young and have alot of time on your hand. What I suggest is move on and never look back. She's stringing you along. I know you are happy when she reply but like a drug addict she is giving you drug to ease your pain but when she stop contact you, the pain come back again. NC is not to get your ex back, if you use it to get your ex back it will work against you. False hope is an NC killer.
Ariadne Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 That girl doesn´t know what she wants and you are some pastime. Enjoy and don´t take it too seriously I´d say.
Dmoney28 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 i suggest keep your guard up, and take things very slow. Its not like you guys can jump righ tback into the relationship like nothing ever happened. Just take it step by step.
Author amokqq Posted December 23, 2008 Author Posted December 23, 2008 Right, I think you guys are right. I got to slow down this thing. More ME and a little less HER for now. Aww... Christmas time. This is my first Christmas without her since 6 years. But I'll try to be strong. By the way, I'm not going o be on for a few days, so I wanted to wish all people on loveshack a Merry Christmas! Let's try to get a smile on are faces for the next couple days, try to forget about our problems for a while!
Author amokqq Posted December 26, 2008 Author Posted December 26, 2008 Hello. A little update to the situation. I was feeling good for the last few days NC(well NC-LC). But somehow yesterday, something inside me snapped and I started to worry. I'm in really bad condition. Can't sleep can't eat. I cryed... It's like a flashback, I'm soo tired but can't fall asleep because I'm constantly thinking about her. Sadly, I know how stupid this sounds, but I have thought about suiside. I can't take the pain. Why did It come back so suddenly!? I was totally fine for the last few days, and then out of nowhere, wham! My God! Why does this have to be so painfull! I love her so much! I would end my life if that would fix something. ...I lost control, I told myself soo many times to take it easy, over and over and in the end I lost it. I want this to end! Please help!
Ariadne Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Why did It come back so suddenly!? I was totally fine for the last few days, and then out of nowhere, wham! My God! Why does this have to be so painfull! I love her so much! I would end my life if that would fix something. It´s like this because of the Holidays that make everything seem more enchanting and romantic, plus the fact that you contacted her and she blew you off. Well, let her do what she wants. What can you do. Think of something that seemed like the end of the world before and now is nothing. This is similar. Hope you feel better soon, hugs.
againstallodds Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 You feel like crap because you keep contacting her. Everything she tell you will make you think and become paranoid. Stop calling or txting, cut her off and you will feel much better. It's hard but it's worse if you contact her. You're addicted to her. She's your drug. How do you recover? Stop using the drug (contact her).
Author amokqq Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 Well, after calling my ex she finally told me the truth. She said she can't be with me because her family does not accept me:P I feel better. The whole BS is over. I hope. I really wished this would end somehow, either way. With or without her.
Author amokqq Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 It's done. Oh God It's over. I finally found the strength to tell her this ain't gonna work. She told me she knew that, and has somehow already (4 guys then since 5 months). She gave back my stuff, engagment ring, we deleted phone numbers, all other stuff. We both told each other to never ever try to get in contact. So, a nice way to say go f*** yourself. GAME OVER I would say. I guess what! I feel much better. Time to heal now, I'm kindda torn apart inside. I believe everything will be only better from now! Lol guess second chances never work out, just as many people say here.
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