She said when time is right she wants me to be her BF..never heard of this before

[Brady_to_Moss]

She said this last night to me and said that a lot of guys like her but i am the only one she likes as more than a friend. She said that when the time comes she wants it to be me and spend a long time with me. Told her mom about me and how much she likes me.

 

Have you ever herd of this before? Not in a relationship but when shes ready it will be with me?

[Benique]

Very atypical words to be told .

 

 

Ask her what 'the right time' means for her , and why now it is not a 'right time' .

 

Unconventional situation ,

agree .

[Surfer Dude]

Try to ask her what exactly she meant by that. It's fairly unconventional and confusing, to say the least.

[LucreziaBorgia]

It sounds like she wants to have you as a boyfriend, but other things in her life are prioritized higher than relationships in general right now.

 

I wouldn't try to push for a relationship, and I would surely suggest keeping your options open elsewhere. You can always find someone else who you would like to be with just as much, who is in a better place emotionally to have a solid relationship.

[BikerBeagle]

The real question you should be asking yourself is if you are willing to wait around - probably alone and dateless - until she 'figures out' when the "right time" is? ...while she is out hanging out with her 'friends' and having a blast?

[Brady_to_Moss]

She said she wants to wait becasue every relationship she has been in she rushed into and all of them ended horrible. Shes afraid that if we rush she will lose me. She wants to have a stong connection with me before heading into a relationship...good reasons?

[BikerBeagle]

I'm sure everything she says sounds perfectly reasonable and logical ...it always does ...but it doesn't negate the fact that she's putting a bone in front of your face and tying the leash around your neck.

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't see what happens ...just don't sit at home waiting for her to call. Get out there and meet other girls, date, do whatever you do, but - as LB said - keep your options open.

[Lauriebell82]

This same thing happened to a friend of mine. He was dating this girl, but she only wanted a casual relationship but she really liked him but wanted to keep her options opened. And like this girl you are talking about, she said to him that she had been in a serious relationship that ended badly. I think that's an excuse as well.

 

Fast forward about 2 months of that. He hung out with this FRIEND of his (girl friend) one night and she got so jealous that she flipped out on him and accused him of cheating on her! So my friend really liked her so he put up with that for another few weeks until she totally went nuts. He dumped her and hasn't spoken to her since.

 

Not saying something like this will happen, but it's a risk you take when someone "puts you at bay" like she is. I am confused about "when the time is right" as well. That could mean like 10 different things.

[Brady_to_Moss]

As of now were dating and she said becoming exclusive. She doesnt like anyother guys but me and isnt dating.

 

 

She always says she misses me and when were together she is always so happy to see me.

[movingonandon]

She said this last night to me and said that a lot of guys like her but i am the only one she likes as more than a friend. She said that when the time comes she wants it to be me and spend a long time with me. Told her mom about me and how much she likes me.

 

Have you ever herd of this before? Not in a relationship but when shes ready it will be with me?

 

 

I say lil', whiny, manipulating beyoaatch . What this means is that she does not like you. If she did, there would be no "when the time is right", she'd be all over you like a pitbull on a puddle..

 

Or, she's 13 years old, in which case you've got no business messing with her anyway.

[BentSpine]

I was thinking that she wants to give you hope so that you'll stick around and be her handyman or sympathetic ear.

[Lauriebell82]

As of now were dating and she said becoming exclusive. She doesnt like anyother guys but me and isnt dating.

 

 

She always says she misses me and when were together she is always so happy to see me.

 

I think these are just reasons that you are trying to convince yourself that you should stay with her. How do you know she doesn't like other guys? If she didn't then she would be your girlfriend and "off limits" to other guys. I think she does maybe miss you and is happy to see you however it sounds as though you are more of a "Mr. Right now" as opposed to "Mr. Right."

[Star Gazer]

This same thing happened to a friend of mine. He was dating this girl, but she only wanted a casual relationship but she really liked him but wanted to keep her options opened. And like this girl you are talking about, she said to him that she had been in a serious relationship that ended badly. I think that's an excuse as well.

 

As of now were dating and she said becoming exclusive. She doesnt like anyother guys but me and isnt dating.

 

"Becoming exclusive" does not mean you ARE. If she liked you as much as she claims she does, she'd take herself off the market immediately because she'd want to take YOU off the market as well. But here's the kicker. She KNOWS you'll stick around like a puppy dog, so that she can take her time trying to figure out if there's someone out there she likes more.

 

I think these are just reasons that you are trying to convince yourself that you should stay with her. How do you know she doesn't like other guys? If she didn't then she would be your girlfriend and "off limits" to other guys. I think she does maybe miss you and is happy to see you however it sounds as though you are more of a "Mr. Right now" as opposed to "Mr. Right."

 

Precisely.

[kashmir]

I'm not one to get advice from, but I think you've gotta tell her what YOU want. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her exactly what you want and no less.

 

She likes you to a degree, but not enough as you like her. That can change, but it won't change if you let her call the shots. You need to take some risks and you can't be afraid of losing her. You need to separate yourself from her a bit. Right now she can call on you anytime and you'll come to her. You need to be more of a challenge to her who won't always come running to her. That way, she'll realize what things are like when you're not around, and if she has enough interest in you, she'll start to really want you and every time you meet she'll value that time more and more.

 

Girls will almost always have the advantage of having options without putting in much effort. What she said might be true, but I doubt she doesn't have feelings for anyone else except for you. Whether you like it or not, those other chumps will always be in the picture. You've gotta separate yourself from them as best as you can. The way to do that is NOT to give her more attention and affection, because most likely those other guys are giving her maximum attention as well. The way to do it is to make her work for your attention. This is not game playing; it is just reminding yourself and her that your time is valuable and not so easy to obtain. If she is like any sane woman (sane woman...is that an oxymoron? =p), she'll be more drawn to what she can't have effortlessly at her will.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I am just going to play it be ear and see where it goes. Ill still make plans with my girls that are friends from back home but i will also go and visit this girl..she is also coming down to my house for a weekend in early january. We will see.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I'm not one to get advice from, but I think you've gotta tell her what YOU want. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her exactly what you want and no less.

 

She likes you to a degree, but not enough as you like her. That can change, but it won't change if you let her call the shots. You need to take some risks and you can't be afraid of losing her. You need to separate yourself from her a bit. Right now she can call on you anytime and you'll come to her. You need to be more of a challenge to her who won't always come running to her. That way, she'll realize what things are like when you're not around, and if she has enough interest in you, she'll start to really want you and every time you meet she'll value that time more and more.

 

Girls will almost always have the advantage of having options without putting in much effort. What she said might be true, but I doubt she doesn't have feelings for anyone else except for you. Whether you like it or not, those other chumps will always be in the picture. You've gotta separate yourself from them as best as you can. The way to do that is NOT to give her more attention and affection, because most likely those other guys are giving her maximum attention as well. The way to do it is to make her work for your attention. This is not game playing; it is just reminding yourself and her that your time is valuable and not so easy to obtain. If she is like any sane woman (sane woman...is that an oxymoron? =p), she'll be more drawn to what she can't have effortlessly at her will.

 

 

I agree. I wont call as much or txt her and lately i havent been as much as i was 2 weeks ago. It has dropped and i have allready noticed a diffrence. She use to not txt or call me a lot and now she is since i dont start off the convos as much anymore. I just find it weird that she would say that soon i am the one she wants to be with. I cant see her lying to me but maybe its not a lie. I will soon see.

 

 

Thank you guys for the help. Its just been a while since i have been with a girl and kissed and made out everyday. I have to get back to reality.

[BlueHarvest]

I've never understood the difference between "Mr. Right Now" and "Mr. Right"

 

What the hell is the difference? Your both right..it's just one is now. Why can't "Mr. Right Now" Become "Mr. Right Forever" etc. ?