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We kiss a lot everyday, hold hands and such..does that mean she is exclusive with me?

Brady_to_Moss

By Brady_to_Moss
in General Relationship Discussion

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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She says shes not ready to call me her BF yet becasue of things that have happened to her in the past but does this mean that i am the one she is into and she is not liking other guys? I mean we make out a lot and txt each other, talk on phone, dates.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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How are we suppose to know that? the only way to find out is to discuss this with HER...

 

sorry but we can say 'yes' or we can say 'no' but that won't tell you anything.. :rolleyes:

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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How are we suppose to know that? the only way to find out is to discuss this with HER...

 

sorry but we can say 'yes' or we can say 'no' but that won't tell you anything.. :rolleyes:

 

 

Should i just ask her that strait up? Are we exclusive between one another?

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Should i just ask her that strait up? Are we exclusive between one another?

 

Nothing like honesty man!

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Just because you make out with someone does NOT mean you're exclusive.

 

You have to ask HER that question.

 

That said, if she doesn't want you to be her BF, I doubt she wants to be exclusive.

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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Nothing like honesty man!

 

 

That is true. I talked to her about the whole BF GF thing and she said she wasnt ready for that yet i feel we are basically like that.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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That is true. I talked to her about the whole BF GF thing and she said she wasnt ready for that yet i feel we are basically like that.

 

You really should be listening to her under these circumstances. She doesn't want you to be her boyfriend. Therefore, she does not want to be exclusive with you.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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That is true. I talked to her about the whole BF GF thing and she said she wasnt ready for that yet i feel we are basically like that.

 

She might not be ready for commitment.. but that doesn't mean she will see other guys.. she might just want to take it slow..

 

If you like her, don't be clingy.. give her space.. be a little independant, that might help.. if she feels you are desperate for a relationship, it might push her away :o

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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I just feel as if she really likes me though and not just using me.

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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she might just want to take it slow..

 

 

Thats what she said to me and i agreed. I just want her to be happy. She keeps saying that the future looks good for us.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Then..you need to relax and take it one day at a time.. no rush..

 

do not push her and talk about 'exclusivity' each time you meet her.. do not even mention it again.. don't look like you're possessive and afraid to lose her.. that's a huge turn-off for women..

 

ALL women love independant, emotionally strong men..

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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Then..you need to relax and take it one day at a time.. no rush..

 

do not push her and talk about 'exclusivity' each time you meet her.. do not even mention it again.. don't look like you're possessive and afraid to lose her.. that's a huge turn-off for women..

 

ALL women love independant, emotionally strong men..

 

 

I have always had an obsession problem. I am actually on medicine for it and it has worked out pretty good.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I just feel as if she really likes me though and not just using me.

 

Even if she IS interested in and dating and making out with other guys, that does NOT mean she is "using" you either. There is nothing wrong with her multi-dating so long as she hasn't led you to believe you are exclusive. She hasn't - she's been very clear that she's not ready or wanting to be your GF. That speaks volumes here.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I have always had an obsession problem. I am actually on medicine for it and it has worked out pretty good.

 

No offense, but if your obsession NOW is reflective of how you are while ON meds for obsession, I think you should either change meds or up your dosage. Your obsession with this girl is honestly palpable.

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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No offense, but if your obsession NOW is reflective of how you are while ON meds for obsession, I think you should either change meds or up your dosage. Your obsession with this girl is honestly palpable.

 

 

Iven known her for 2 1/2 years now and i have liked her for that long and jsut never did anything about it and 2 weeks ago she started to show intrest in me.

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Brady_to_Moss Established Member

Brady_to_Moss

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Even if she IS interested in and dating and making out with other guys, that does NOT mean she is "using" you either. There is nothing wrong with her multi-dating so long as she hasn't led you to believe you are exclusive. She hasn't - she's been very clear that she's not ready or wanting to be your GF. That speaks volumes here.

 

 

I just talked to her about it. She said that its between being open and being exclusive. She doesnt like any other guys but she said its headed to exclusive..what does that mean?

 

She just said that shes not ready but when she is she wants it to be me

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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I just talked to her about it. She said that its between being open and being exclusive. She doesnt like any other guys but she said its headed to exclusive..what does that mean?

 

She just said that shes not ready but when she is she wants it to be me

 

she's not too clear with the first statement.. but very clear with the second.. just relax .. and give her space and time.. DON'T be desperate.. ;)

 

She might just have a wee bit of a control issue.. lol.. she wants to be the one deciding when and how, and where.. lol

crazy4you Member

crazy4you

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The only problem to your situation is that she could just be thinking of you as a backup. I've been through something similar once. I hope this isn't the case for you because it was a horrible thing to have happened but IF that's the case, what she's doing is pretty much storing her nuts for the winter as so to speak. She would be creating a relationship with a friend and going after someone else. And if she happens to fail with the other person she still has you to bounce back to. You have to find out what she's got going through her head before you committ to this because it seems like you really like her and this might leave you scarred.

crazy4you Member

crazy4you

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I just talked to her about it. She said that its between being open and being exclusive. She doesnt like any other guys but she said its headed to exclusive..what does that mean?

 

She just said that shes not ready but when she is she wants it to be me

 

I guess after reading this it seems to me like what she's doing is weighing her options. In a way, she has a right to date many people and decide who she wants since she's not in a relationship yet, however you need to take things into perspective. If you two are kissing and holding hands and acting like you're in a relationship then things can only lead to bad outcomes if she dates other guys. So basically give her space and distance yourself a bit. What are your feelings gonna be like if you realize she's dating another guy?

 

I had this same thing happen to me. Back when I was in high school I went on one of those school trips that we're away with hotel rooms and everything for 4 days. And during that trip I got a lot closer to a friend of mine and we ended up kissing a lot, dancing (very explicit dancing if you know what I mean), spending a lot of time together, flirting, holding hands...etc. Basically it seemed like we were a couple. Well when the trip was over I tried to get closer to her but it was like nothing was happening. I finally asked her on a date and it was good and all but I found out she was dating other guys at the same time. This kind of hurt because I thought it was only me and in the end she went into a relationship with someone else so I never got a chance to be with her. Take my advice and distance yourself because if it's not you in the end, you'll get hurt.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I just talked to her about it. She said that its between being open and being exclusive. She doesnt like any other guys but she said its headed to exclusive..what does that mean?

 

I still don't understand how you're not seeing this! It's so frustrating!!!

 

What she's saying is, "You are my only option right now, but I'm hoping a better option will come along."

crazy4you Member

crazy4you

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I still don't understand how you're not seeing this! It's so frustrating!!!

 

What she's saying is, "You are my only option right now, but I'm hoping a better option will come along."

YES! This is what I said in my first post... she's using the TC (topic creator) as her backup. I've had this happen to me. She's gonna date around and weigh her options and if she doesn't find anything better she'll go to you, but the second another guy grabs her attention she'll leave you in the dust. Sorry man... hope it works out.

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