lovesparis Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 been broken up with ex for nearly a year and a half. really struggling with holidays right now. well at least i think that's why i've been up half the night with obsessive thoughts about him. yoy. it's really affecting me and i don't know how to make it stop. it only seems to reaffirm that we're supposed to be together. anyone else going through something similar? or has in the past? just really need support right now..........
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 been broken up with ex for nearly a year and a half. really struggling with holidays right now. well at least i think that's why i've been up half the night with obsessive thoughts about him. yoy. it's really affecting me and i don't know how to make it stop. it only seems to reaffirm that we're supposed to be together. anyone else going through something similar? or has in the past? just really need support right now.......... I get anxiety problems this time of year, but especially now that I'm broken up with my LTR. Going to stores and hearing Christmas music. I just don't feel like celebrating anything this year.
Zapbasket Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 What you're feeling is completely understandable and I can very much relate. Last year this time was my first Christmas without my boyfriend of 5 years; in December of 2006 I was supposed to go across the country with him to spend Christmas with his family, and he forbade me from coming, saying he wanted "space," felt like he wanted to break up, but he'd contact me "sometime in the new year." Needless to say, that Christmas was utterly miserable; I spent all of Christmas day, in fact, agonizing over a long apology letter to him that I paid $21 to fed-ex to his family's home in Canada. Last year this time, I was still pretty beaten up over the breakup (he finally ended it in Feb. '07 with a nasty letter telling me to get lost), and so as the anniversary of his forbidding me to join him for the holidays came up, so did deep feelings of longing, despair, and sadness. Luckily, my mother anticipated this and paid for both of us to spend the holidays in a nice condo at Killington, where I could ski all day and she, a total non-athlete, could sit by the fire and read. It was lonely on the mountain, as I rode the lifts and skied the runs by myself. I'd spend the time on the lift thinking about my ex, trying to come further to terms with our being out of each other's lives, and then, the efforts at physical mastery as I skied down the runs somehow helped me master the things I was trying to master psychologically. I felt empowered as I felt my skiing improve with every run, and most empowering of all was that my ex was the one who introduced me to skiing and here I was, doing it on my own and LOVING IT. I am so grateful to my mother for her insight into how I might be feeling last Christmas. To you I would recommend that you try doing something physically challenging every day during the holidays--something outdoors, in nature...even if it's only walks down suburban streets. Sorry for the long post; I thought it might be somewhat comforting to hear the stories of others who either are or were in your shoes. It's strange, the process of coming to terms with the loss of a loved one. The process has its own designs and path, and you really have little say over it except to keep putting one foot in front of the other (literally as well as figuratively!) in a sincere effort to build a full life for yourself, and make the best use of the short time you have here on earth. Somehow, in those tiny daily steps, it starts to get better, seemingly all on its own. And then one day you look around you and realize, "Hey! I don't feel the same; I have changed...BUT, I feel good again." Chin up, okay? (((((Hugs to you)))))
openbook08 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 ya its a week im not really lookin forward to... startin with today, the first time 6years ago we ever met & we kissed that night, he asked for my no. & i remember thinkin to myself "ah i hope he doesnt start textin me now.." ( i was happily single & had never been in a rship) how i wish he hadnt :lmao: *sigh* so im headin out with a few friends tonight to do the 12 Pubs Of Christmas..that should help & change the anniversary from first time we ever met to the year i nearly puked my kidneys up from vodka!! (joke;)) right now i hate him
Author lovesparis Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 smiiiley, it'll be 1 yr dec 26 eta: wow, i had stopped counting until this very moment that you asked
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