Catwoman67 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 ...I started seeing my ex (from well over 20 years ago) a few months ago. I ran into him and he gave me his number. He is separated 7 years with 2 kids, very bad relationship with ex. He calls me a few times a week. I see him and have relations - but he is very religious and seems to fight himself about doing it with me. We do not kiss much during sex - any opinions?
carhill Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 No opinion, but some questions... Do you have "relations" at his house? Was he "religious" back when you were together 20 years ago? Do you see lack of "kissing" as an indicator of the type of relationship you have? Why? What type of relationship would you like to have? Do you know his wife (assuming they're still legally married)?
Author Catwoman67 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 ...well when we first got together, he said he would like to be married again, and it might be me, wasn't meant to be alone No opinion, but some questions... Do you have "relations" at his house? yes Was he "religious" back when you were together 20 years ago? no Do you see lack of "kissing" as an indicator of the type of relationship you have? Why? I don't know? What type of relationship would you like to have? boyfriend and girlfriend Do you know his wife (assuming they're still legally married)? no
carhill Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 In your OP, you said he was "separated 7 years".....does that imply he is not yet divorced? If so, I'm a bit unclear about his marrying you. That said, I am concerned when he says he wasn't meant to be alone. That, combined with the no-kissing sex, would be the beginnings of a red flag to me if I was interested in a serious relationship. What do you think?
Author Catwoman67 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 In your OP, you said he was "separated 7 years".....does that imply he is not yet divorced? If so, I'm a bit unclear about his marrying you. That said, I am concerned when he says he wasn't meant to be alone. That, combined with the no-kissing sex, would be the beginnings of a red flag to me if I was interested in a serious relationship. What do you think? Well, he is not divorced - says he doesn't want to pay for it - but if he is happy with someone will do it. I don't understand his no kissing - if I ask him too - he will - but isn't it normal for a man to kiss a woman during relations?
carhill Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Divorcing... well, it does "cost" something, but I can't imagine living in separate households with 2 kids to be that cost effective. Kissing....can't speak for other guys but it surely is important to me. I could only imagine it not being important if I was only interested in the sex part and not the emotional/relationship part. How was he in the past with you?
Author Catwoman67 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 Divorcing... well, it does "cost" something, but I can't imagine living in separate households with 2 kids to be that cost effective. Kissing....can't speak for other guys but it surely is important to me. I could only imagine it not being important if I was only interested in the sex part and not the emotional/relationship part. How was he in the past with you? ...well, he was a big time cheater, and he has apologized about it - he said he has only been with one other woman in the 7 years, and felt bad about it - and now I am the second - I asked him why it is ok with me, and he said, well if you don't know.... p.s. the kids live with the wife.
carhill Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 When you said "he broke my heart time and time again", was it the cheating?
Author Catwoman67 Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 When you said "he broke my heart time and time again", was it the cheating? yes... But we were both only 18 when we met...
CarrieT Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 yes... But we were both only 18 when we met... So many things raising red flags; he has cheated before and is obviously cheating now (he IS still married so you are the OW!). What makes you think it would be any different and the question about kissing during sex is the least of your worries. Run fast.
norajane Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 He calls me a few times a week. I see him and have relations - but he is very religious and seems to fight himself about doing it with me. We do not kiss much during sex - any opinions? When I read this, I can't help but ask if he is treating you like a call girl? Or do you actually go out on dates, to dinner, dancing, movies, concerts? Do you get together with each other's friends? Are you spending any part of Christmas together? Is there any romance here? Do you hold hands? Hug? Cuddle on the couch together? Does he kiss you when you come over? Does he kiss you when you aren't having sex?
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