NYgirlinLA Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 You would think after 2 months of NC it would get easier, but no – this week has been the absolute worst so far! This ridiculous urge came out of nowhere. All I want to do is call him and ask him to meet me for coffee or something. Ugh! I broke up with him because he couldn't let me fully in. If he hasn’t broken NC yet , it must mean he has moved on right? I mean, if he really wanted to talk to me or if he changed his mind, wouldn't he have reached out by now? I need some feedback on NC before I make a mistake.
Joker77 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I always thought the dumper had to be the one to break NC.
Author NYgirlinLA Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 So I have to reach out first if I want to re-connect?
Joker77 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 So I have to reach out first if I want to re-connect? I got dumped two and a half weeks ago. I want to call her, but it will be pathetic and grovelling on my part. If anything is to happen, she has to call me because she is the one who broke up with me. She is the one who wanted out, not me. Same thing with you. I'm not being sarcastic or mean, I'm just saying that maybe your guy is thinking the same way I am.
Author NYgirlinLA Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 He started to freak out around the 10 month mark and started pulling back. He said he couldn't be vulnerable and couldn't let me fully in and didn't know if he could be in a committed relationship. So I told him it would be best if we went our separate ways. It was a very calm and amicable break up and since then - nothing. I miss him and want to see him. I just figured if he really wanted to be with me, he would have reached out by now. Do you think he feels if he does, it would be like he is groveling?
Joker77 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 You dumped him. It's not an attractive quality to beg someone to have them back when they were the one who was dumped.
carhill Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Your "urge" is from remembering the good times. You expressed very specific reasons for your breakup, which apparently he concurred with. Leave him be. If/when you can contact him without being emotional about it, then consider it. IOW, a time when his response won't matter. If he pursued you in the beginning and isn't now, there's a reason for that, aside from hurt feelings. He has his own work to do. Let him
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