lifesucks2 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Well my story is one hell of a story.. it's a long one as well. I live in a pretty conservative country so relationships are taboo, but i got into this relationship anyway! i used to go out with him everyday. I actually travelles with him for 2 weeks and we're only 18 and if anybody in our country found out it's gonna be like a crime, i gave up almost everything for him, he was my first love. He's with me in college, but he's leaving in 2 weeks to study abroad. We were together for a year, we broke up twice but we always got back together in less than a week. This time it's different i know it's really over, it has been 1 week, actually 2. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago over something really stupid. he said u lied to me u cheated on me and i didn't even do anything! he just found out something i forgot to tell him, and it was something really stupid, that i used to know his cousin before and his cousin was my friend. THATS IT ! i knew him like 4 years ago! After breaking up with me, we got back together in a week, we stayed together for like 3 days. Well on the last day he came over to my place. i lost my virginity to him that day, and i'm the kind of girl that doesn't do that before marriage and we can't do that in our country but i was soo in love with him so i let it happen anyway. after he left i called him twice and texted once and he didnt reply. i saw him online at night and he's like i just used you to hurt you the way u did and i don't love you anymore. i didn't hurt him i don't think what i did was wrong ! he promised that we would have a future together and now all he does is break my heart! NC, it's been that way for about a week, i cant even look at his face after what he did to me! but i still love him i am so in love with him. aren't i supposed to despise him after what he did to me ? i'm about to break down, i still can't believe after something as special as what we had he does this to me! i can't stop thinking i haven't done anything all i do is think. i haven't talked to him since the incident. i deleted him from facebook, myspace and msn. i really wanna tell him how i feel about what he did i just wanna scream at his face, he doesnt think what he did is wrong, i can't keep it in anymore but i don't wanna talk to him but i have to don't I ? cuz i didn't let out my feelings what he did is horrible and he's not realising that i just want him to realise that ! all i want is an apology! I know i kind of said too much but i had to let it out of my system, WHY DO I STILL LOVE HIM AND NEED HIM AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS PUT ME THROUGH!!
norajane Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 First, you don't NEED him. You just believe you do. You will realize that once you heal a bit from your heartbreak. You existed as a whole, complete person before he came along, and you are still that whole, complete person. Given enough time, you will rediscover yourself and realize that no, of course you don't NEED him. And you love him because love isn't a faucet that you can turn on and off. You genuinely love him, and even though he's been awful to you, you will need some time to process that and fully accept that you are now seeing his true colors - who he really is and the kind of man he REALLY is, rather than the kind of man you believed him to be. Once you accept that, you will lose respect for him, and with it, your love will fade as well. It's almost impossible to be in love with someone for whom you have lost all respect as a man and as a human being. In fact, when you fully accept what an ass he is, you will feel fortunate that he is out of your life. What kind of man accuses you of cheating for no reason other than you used to know someone when you were 14??? And breaks up with you for it? And then deliberately has sex with you, knowing how losing your virginity before marriage in your culture is such a taboo? Only a cruel, heartless man with no compassion or self-control would do such a thing - an ass. This is not the kind of man you can respect, and certainly not the kind of man you would want to marry because then you'd be stuck with his meanness forever. No, do not speak to him. When he gets out of his blind, foolish jealous rage, he will know exactly what he's done - he's spit on someone who loved him. If he does not feel remorse and sorrow for that on his own, nothing you say to him about it would penetrate his dumb skull anyway. I'm sorry this has happened. You will eventually move past this, and be much happier, but I know that it's a hard time for you now. I wish you the best.
norajane Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 It's illegal to DATE? Where are you? I'm guessing in a land of arranged marriages where female virginity is a prize.
Author lifesucks2 Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 it's not illegal but many people prefer it if you dont date, pre marital sex isn't illegal but if u r a citizen of this country and found doing it they're gonna make a big deal out of it.. Thanks norajane.. What you said really helped, i decided not to talk to him at all, he thinks that he made it harder for me to get over him but i do not respect him at all now, what he did was horrible i wouldnt do that to my worse enemy i'm so in love with him but i would never get back with him.. I'm trying to be really strong..
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