Lucky555 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Guy that i am going on date with soon. We were talking via online back and forth. Then he said he had a phone call and would be back. I wait a couple minutes thinking he would say well i have to take this or something...to indicate I should not wait for him. He didn't say anything so i told him i would talk with him later. Ok I think this is pretty rude to do. I didn't wait for him to respond, yeah he was busy with something else but the principle here is that he could have said its going to be awhile. When your first trying to get to know someone I don't think you would just abruptly leave the conversation like that if you were really interested in getting them to "be with you" His questions have been very Casual and im getting concerned as to what his intentions are and what he wants. I guess the one date will make or break this.
Boka Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Guy that i am going on date with soon. We were talking via online back and forth. Then he said he had a phone call and would be back. I wait a couple minutes thinking he would say well i have to take this or something...to indicate I should not wait for him. He didn't say anything so i told him i would talk with him later. Ok I think this is pretty rude to do. I didn't wait for him to respond, yeah he was busy with something else but the principle here is that he could have said its going to be awhile. When your first trying to get to know someone I don't think you would just abruptly leave the conversation like that if you were really interested in getting them to "be with you" His questions have been very Casual and im getting concerned as to what his intentions are and what he wants. I guess the one date will make or break this. I did that before. I ended the call abruptly. I got very nerveous all of a sudden because I didn't know what else to talk about.
carhill Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Argh...internet cr@p. Go on the date. Think of it this way...if a friend did the same thing, would you be offended? I know I wouldn't, and would just resume the conversation later, whenever. You're not even friends, yet, right?
runner Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 the phone call must have been an emergency or something ? you won't know until you ask. i was in a similar situation with a new girl i was seeing; a friend came by and i let him watch tv while she and i continued to chat
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 At least he told you he was taking a call. I wouldn't hold that against him. If he were to just disappear and leave you hanging, it would be rude. Each person has to decide if they can handle that kind of rudeness.
PrincessPeach Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I don't think it was rude. He told you that he was leaving and why. He shouldn't have to specify how long he would take and you aren't obligated to stick around yourself. You haven't even been on a date once with this guy, so what's the big deal? You shouldn't expect him to drop everything for you. Generally I don't even talk to a guy before I go on a first date with him after setting up the time for the first date. It helps with anticipation and excitment!
bluepoppy Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Actually - this is the whole problem with emails & phone-calls - 65% of our communication is non-verbal - take the visual away, and we get mis-understandings. I would have taken the have got to take a call and will be back to mean, would be back soon - as well, so probably would have taken it the same way - as being a bit rude. That said - he could have easily meant - that he'd be back - like next time, next day. Without knowing that much about a person and how they communicate, it's hard to know.
Author Lucky555 Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 you all are right. I think i a may have over reacted. Thanks for the posts. Initially it felt as if what i was saying didn't matter to him because he just cut me off as i was telling him what i enjoyed doing and i felt like it was rude because what i have to say is important. I thought it was an important conversation we were having because if were going to see if there is potential with each other we need to size each other up so to speak and not waste our time if we are not into the person. I know he had a phone call but even if i had one i would be able to have the phone in my hand and tell the person i have to take this, call you later or talk with you later. Don't say you will be back.....I'm not waiting at my computer for however long it takes for the phone call. I told him its ok and that i would talk with him later because I'm not waiting around for him to do something else. However, i am over it and I'm glad i got some feed back from you all. Also, he has done this before...while i'm talking about something he just CUTS ME OFF. I really think he does it as a game to get me to want him if he plays hard to get. I really am over the games and i am looking for someone who wants the same things and is ready for moving ahead to what ever life brings.
Perry Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Sorry if I missed it, but have you talked on the phone to see how he is during a phone conversation? Long time ago I was talking to one girl I met online. She put me on hold for another call that came in. She came back a minute later to resume our conversation. I asked if that was an emergency call. She said no. I go, "uhhhh, okay." She knew what I meant by that. She didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't even bother with her after that. Sorry, but many times it's the little things that can tell a lot about a person.
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