adamjames Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 So here's a little story for you. It all started about two years ago, I started talking to this girl that I honestly thought I had no chance with. We started talking more and more. The school year ended, and we were best of friends, we were with each other all day of every day, it was the greatest thing that had ever happened. There was no physical relationship however, until in July I finally sucked it up and kissed her. From there we moved on. It was the greatest relationship I had ever seen, I was seventeen and she was sixteen, yet our relationship was one of the most mature relationships I have ever seen in my life. We didn't rely on physical intimacy to keep us going, we were open about everything, and we just enjoyed each others company. We stayed as just dating, while dating other people for months. Last December we went out on a date, it was the most beautiful and perfect date you could imagine. We became "exclusive" or whatever that night, she was all mine, and I was all hers. Things were perfect from then on, we had a few small bumps here and there, but besides those, we really never fought in our entire relationship. After my senior year ended, I made the choice to go drink. This had been a no-no for us the entire relationship. What made it worse was that I lied about it, and she found out. This was the beginning of the end. We broke up for a short time, but got back together, on the stipulations that I never lied to her again. Well, toward the end of the summer I sort of slipped up. I did lie to her, but it was one of those really gay accidental lies. We broke up for good. After that we stayed best friends for about 3 months, talking all day every day, and all that jazz, but then we sorta went into a no-talking mode, because talking her was hurting me too much. Now I am happy again with life, and I can talk to her just fine, things are getting better, we are starting to laugh again, and all that good stuff. Here are some of the problems. She currently has someone who she is dating pretty exclusively. She hasn't seen him in two months because he joined the army, he comes back for two weeks at christmas, then she won't see him again till four months after that. She seems to like him alot, so it is a little discouraging. however She has said to me on several occasions, both during and after our relationship, that I was absolutely everything that she has ever looked for in a boyfriend, that I was perfect in almost every way. My only flaw was in the lying part. I love her with all my heart, and I know that she still loves me. It has been almost five months now since we broke up. She is dating someone else pretty exclusively, and all that jazz. She has said before that it's over for good and for forever. But I KNOW she loves me still, and that I am perfect for her on the conditions that I pull my head out of my ass. So I have, I've pulled my head out, i'm good to go, i'll never make those mistakes again in my life, We are perfect for each other again. So how should I go about courting her? It seems nearly impossible to do right now, so I can't decide. Should I throw myself straight at her? Ask her on dates and work back up from the ground? or Should I tell her frankly, that she can date whoever she wants, but I'm here for her for a while. sort of a "save the last dance thing", cause I know that I'm perfect for her and we are meant to be together. Sorry that was a rambling mess, I just wanted you to know the full story. Any advice would be great, it would make me very happy to hear what others have to say on it. I may attach a few pictures of us just for giggles as well. [edit] I attempted uploading pictures, couldn't get it to work right. Here's a link to my myspace where you can see them all. myspace.com/butter_is_great
nittanylion Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 no, dont wait for her. Get ur own life. The fact of the matter is that you got ur chance and u blew it. Lieing is a big issue in the relationship, and u didnt respect her or the relationship. Leave her alone, let her finds happiness with someone else. U need to start fresh with someone else. You and her are not match together otherwise u still be together. U still young and have many oppties. for love again. Move on and start fresh with someone else. Stop pinning over her. JMO!
samspade Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I am confused. Did you do anything more than kiss this girl? Because if you two weren't intimate, I don't see how you are anything more than her friend. She has said to me on several occasions, both during and after our relationship, that I was absolutely everything that she has ever looked for in a boyfriend, that I was perfect in almost every way. My only flaw was in the lying part. This sounds like her telling you you are too boring and friendly. As for the lying part, well, if you want to drink and she disapproves, and you feel compelled to lie about it, she is probably not the right girl for you.
Author adamjames Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 We did do more than kiss, of course. I just said that we didn't rely on being intimate to find hapiness in our relationship, like so many other relationships I have seen. second: It isn't saying that I was boring, she found me anything but boring, I know that much for a fact. and I don't really want to drink anymore, I did it on occasion before we dated, I did it once to see if it was as fun as i remembered, and it wasn't. Other Post: Sounds like your upset and bitter about being lied to before. I don't know how much more I can say about that.
samspade Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I love her with all my heart, and I know that she still loves me. It has been almost five months now since we broke up. She is dating someone else pretty exclusively, and all that jazz. She has said before that it's over for good and for forever. I'd take her at her word. Also, you shouldn't even dream of "courting" her if she's dating someone else exclusively. Obviously, she has moved on and you have not. Just because you "know" how perfect you would be for each other does not mean she is on the same page as you. Should I tell her frankly, that she can date whoever she wants, but I'm here for her for a while. sort of a "save the last dance thing", cause I know that I'm perfect for her and we are meant to be together. My friend, she does not need your permission to date whomever she wants. Furthermore, if you wait for her, you will find you have wasted your time and be left twisting slowly in the wind. Thirdly, no two people are "perfect" for each other, nor are they "meant to be together." Find someone whose behavior indicates she WANTS to be with you, and go from there. Life is not a Hollywood movie.
FF84 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I sense another moonmoon thread... "I'll just stick my fingers in my ears and go along with what I want and ignore and abuse anyone who doesn't tell me what I want to hear because I'm right and they're all wrong yadda yadda yadda..." Come on buddy, you're young. Don't pine over this one girl, if it's meant to be it's meant to be, if not then you just need to leave it in the past and embrace the world. If you've known her this long and you're still on the friends page then I don't think she feels quite the same as you. And girls will always tell guys they'd make a perfect boyfriend - what they mean is you'd make a perfect boyfriend for SOMEONE ELSE. That's the harsh reality. This girl's not good for you. For your own good I think you need to move on and get her out of your head. Sorry.
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