stray_cat Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 so in my 31 yrs of life, this will be my first christmas alone and i mean really alone. i live in a foreign country and i dont have any family here. i moved here coz of my stbxh. i don't really have alot of friends and most of friends are also foreigners who will be going home to their family for the holiday. my local friends are of course celebrating with their family. christmas used to be my most favorite time of the year. both me and my stbxh look forward to spending 2½ weeks of christmas holiday break together. i spent 8 wonderful christmas with this man. he and i are usually busy preparing, putting up christmas decoration, buying presents, planning our christmas dinner. but now i am all by myself and i've never felt so alone in my entire life. i think the loneliness is one of the hardest part i'm struggling with. i dont have any special plan other than calling my family back home. i'll just pretend christmas day is an ordinary day. last time we talk he told me he is still leaning towards divorce and will file for the second phase within a month. but at the same time he also told me that he would like to invite me to come over to his place (where we both used to live) and have christmas dinner together. to me it just doenst make sense. he is divorcing me yet he wants to spend christmas with me. i already told him i wont be coming. i said i would love to, but that wont do anything good to me given our situation. i have to get use to my new life - without him. so i will pull all my strength and face this holiday season with no one else but myself. how are you guys coping with the holiday?
emmanuel Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Hello, well I am feeling pretty close to you here, my gf dumped me after 8 years and I just turner 32 on December 14th. This is what I know, faking to celebrate is not gonna do it, I have tried to go out for Halloween and I felt like ****, I went out for my bday with a few friends and it was still one of my worst bday ever,.. We used to live together in Manhattan but I also have a condo under my name in Miami, so thats where I am now, despite being in the sun and enjoying the weather I still do feel very lonely, but I won't celebrate X-Mas, I better be grieving, be honest with myself and stay home watching a DVD, when it past I will feel better, otherwise its just makeup on a wound. Do not join him to celebrate, stay away or with a friend if you can.
ReeWoo Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 +1, being alone is not all that bad. Plan your day so that you wont have to go out or need anything. Have a good time chilling and get a few movies that you want to watch. Cook something that you've never cooked and eat it while sitting on the sofa/recliner while watching a movie. You remember, like when it was spring break and your parents let you stay at home you own the place, enjoy it. As far as JoeSmo the x coming over - "let him eat cake" (reference to the Queen saying let the pheasants eat stale bread while she enjoys a nice meal).
Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Is there no way for you to consider a flight, to be together with your family? Even putting it on your credit card might be worthwhile, just this one year. Sometimes fiscal responsibility has to take a backseat to the heart.
Author stray_cat Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 Is there no way for you to consider a flight, to be together with your family? Even putting it on your credit card might be worthwhile, just this one year. Sometimes fiscal responsibility has to take a backseat to the heart. money isn't really the issue but right now i don't think i can get a flight home coz this is the tourist season in my country and flights are mostly fully booked. had i known i will be spending xmas alone i would have booked a ticket earlier. u see, me and my stbxh were doing great 2 months after i left our home. he showed interest in working on our marriage and we were communicating again. in fact i was seeing him almost every weekend and everything looked promising. i was already looking forward to spending xmas with him but then lately he relapsed. went back to his confused state of mind and said he felt he still wants the divorce. so here i am, alone. i will have to embrace my grief and face the fact that this is my life now. this is hard but i will survive this. hell, i have already survived the worst part.
Mr. Lucky Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 My first Christmas separated (long time ago) I did a lot of volunteer work with my spare time. Much better than being alone and helped to make me feel better about myself and my situation. Why not spend that time helping others less fortunate? Mr. Lucky
EmperorR Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I'm thinking of volunteering at a shelter or something if it's not to late.
PWSX3 Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 me & some of my friends from DivorceCare class are going to the movies, then maybe go out to eat after that.
LEANER1 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I spent the holiday with my wifes family which was nice. Unfortuneately I made the mistake of opening a box in the living room thenight before, xmas eve. In the box was a care package from my wife to the guy she cheated on me with. I never said anything and just let it go, should've taken pics or something. Anyway, it wound up being a very depressing xmas for me because I love her family soooo much and have a hard time seeing the future holidays without them. I have to admit that writing / typing really is good therapy for me, thanks........
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