trueblue72ny Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 hey guys, ive posted here in the past recently. in a nutshell the ex gf (3 years) said see ya end of july. i am 36, she is 31. we also work together. now for awhile we werent talking. i went no contact. she contacted me and said she wanted to be friends, "but not yet". i was scratching my head for awhile. playing it cool. seeing were things would go. she kep t saying it over and over , over the course of weeks and months. i finally got frustrated and said wth!! you either do or dont and if you are looking for mr new than maybe we shouldnt talk at all going forward! i just kind of blew up a little because i was getting frustrated. i feel its mean to say ok, but not yet. ask me to be friends but wont talk to me. and everything always seemed like it had to be on her terms. i wasnt happy with that. i guess i was trying to push her away. but instead of understanding, or her saying ok lets talk as friends, what do i get? she got really mad. tried to turn it all around onto me. this happened about 2 weeks ago. now she isnt talking to me again. i dont like loosing friends. she kept saying she isnt dating anyone the whole time. now come to find out she may have a new friend she is hanging out with. it makes sense now, i feel like she kept pushing me off, with the "not yet" line, waiting to see what was up in her new social life. and if that didnt work out , well then there was always faithful me to fall back onto in the meantime. i guess now the pieces seem to be falling into place. all the things others here have posted (cali guy) in my prior rants , seem to have come true! not only that but i found out the ex gf was passing around my personal emails to her friends to comment on. there are also a couple people in this office, who are smiling at me , but stabbing me in the back at the same time by talking things about me. trying to twist the whole situation around and making me feel like i am crazy or something. they are of course her friends at the office. maybe we can be friends at some point. when i dont care. but if i dont care i dont know why i would bother wanting too. but at this juncture, i feel like i have been lied too, and will find it very difficult now that my trust has been compromised. i am so saddened by the fact it has had to come to this. but it is what it is. and at this point i am just going to go strictly no contact this time. i mean it. a friend told me to just lay low, let things blow over within the office. dont look at her, avoid her, turn from her. and delete and future emails. in the past it was a hard thing to do, but after recent developments, i feel lied to, betrayed and unsure who i can trust. so this time around i think is going to be different. no contact. period!! i thought i might of had a chance to be one of the ones that beat the odds, but its not looking like that. she turned on me. it's a really hard thing to accept still. it doesnt seem real & i feel broken inside all over again. just posting my rants on here! need to vent!!!!!! i am physically a very strong guy, but when it comes to things like this i guess i am not. time to toughen up whether i want to or not. i dont have a choice now. i will just have to deal with somehow , with the ex coming over to my side of the office talking to her two faced fat friends stabbing me while smiling at me. it wouldnt be so bad if she didnt come over to my side, but she does all the time. i think its to torment me. hey , guess what, im not going to die. i am going to hurt badly AGAIN for awhile, but i think it will eventually change. it feels like a really bad situation right now. but i will just try to stay busy, not look at her, keep going to the gym and really look forward to trying to make a change for the positive in myself physically, and mentally. i have entered a new world and am on a new journey that i didnt chose to be on and i will have to make the best of it. i will have to work hard to train myself to be strong. i guess we all have to go through the hurts of relationships. i have been on both ends, i have been the dumper and the dumpee. never liked being either one!
BikerBeagle Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 This is exactly why you should never date someone you work with. Unless you plan to change jobs, the best thing you can do is ignore the drama, move on, and have a life without her.
Author trueblue72ny Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 that's pretty much my intent at this point. i dont feel like i have a choice really. or its just going to be more of the same. she was over on my side of the office again this morning. 2x already. she dressed up and is wearing a pair of boots i gave her for xmass last year. made sure i saw. she was showing off and making a scene at the cubicle right next to me! know what i did? i got up and i walked away. she is crazy. what i am afraid of now is trying to push me to react badly and then say, wow everyone look what a jerk he is! nope! i am not falling for it! i am mad now to think that could be her intent. but i actually feel pretty good about getting up and walking away! i gave christmas cards to everyone on my side of the office yesterday! i feel pretty good about that too! and after today she is on vacation for the next two weeks and i feel pretty good about that too!
sedgwick Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I was all set to post something supportive until I read "her two-faced fat friends." As a woman who struggled for 20 years with an eating disorder, I ask you to just consider how uncool it is to say something like that in a public forum. Please do not perpetuate the myth that men only like thin women. It's so damaging. What on earth does the size of their bodies have to do with their right to be your ex's friends? If her two-faced friends were thin, would you have made mention of their body type in your insult? And incidentally, you LOSE friends, not LOOSE them. Loose is the opposite of tight. And "too" and "to" are different words. "Too" means "also." So it's what you're USED TO, not what you're USED TOO. Maybe in my next post I'll mention something about guys who can't spell, and how they deserve all the fat chicks they get. Hmmm, now there's an idea.
Author trueblue72ny Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 sorry if you are offended sedgwick. i dont know why you are taking something personally that is not directed at you. i hve a right to vent. if it was directed at you then i say you would have a right to say something. just my opinion. have a good holiday anyway even if you are angry.
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