Mutual break up w/ girlfriend, but don't know if it was right thing to do.

[extraflamey]

Hi me and my girlfriend just celebrated our year and a half anniversay (yeah...I know it's odd, but we figured we had never lasted this long before in any other relationship so we ought to celebrate). A day later we broke up. It was pretty much a mutual thing, and the main reasons we broke up were as such:

 

1.) Tired of fighting all the time

2.) We are both bored with each other

3.) We are unhappy because of the fighting and boredom and a few other misc. stuff

 

The problem is both of us don't want to break up even though we both feel that in the long run this is the best thing to do. In the past we have debated over whether or not we should stay together, so in essence the "break up" question has been looming over us for a while. In fact we both agree that if we do stay together the most our relationship can last would be a couple of months, at max another year. We came to this conclusion because we both want very diffrent things for our future. I'm in college and I want to take my graduate studies overseas and travel around the world. She goes to community college, hates it, and would rather work and stay at home. Someday I would like to settle down and have a family. She's not opposed to settling down, but does not want children...her comprimise "we'll have a menagerie of animals." And lastly were both young (19) and we have so many things we haven't done. She's my first love, and even though that is powerful. I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else because I've only been with her! The same likewise with her, she's had many other relationship, but I am her "first" and she wonders what sex would be like with someone else.

 

Yet even though all the signs are pointing to break up. She, as well as I, can not come to terms with the idea that we won't be us anymore. We've made it clear that well continue to be best friends, thats for certain. But, we both love each other (I'm not sure if it's romantic love anymore, but love nonetheless)

 

So due to the above mess that we have found ourselves in we have opted for this option: We will take a two week break. Thus we are essentially single and free to do whatever we may choose. At the end of these said two weeks we will get togeter and discuss how we both feel. Whether we liked it better broken up, or if we miss each other to the point where we will get back together again. That way if we made a terrible mistake in leaving one another, we at least get the opportunity stay together.

 

 

I have a headache! I don't know what to do. I am sad, but I'm coping. But then again my emotions change with the wind so who will know what I feel tommorrow. Please anyone! Let me know what you think of this dillema, and wheter you think if we made the right decision.

 

Thank You,

Kelly

[NEONINK]

If it was mutual, it definitely was the right thing to do.

[Rambo]

Sadly I am in some what of the same situation. It sucks you want out but you dont know what to do. Chances are after you spend time away and hang out with your friends youll realize life without isnt so bad. If you even have thoughts about breaking up then its probley the right thing to do. Unfortunatly life doesnt come with instructions and no matter how much help you seek the decision is yours. No one can tell you what to do. only you know what to do, and you have to do it. Being a religous man i feel that whats meant to be will always find a way so if your not happy right now. let her go. if you truly need her in your life youll find a way to make it happen.

[calithin83]

hey well im in the same shoes..kinda

 

ive been with my bf for 3 years and 3 months and we were eachother first...i too am questioning whether to stay together..and we have talked about it and we did break up for a month 1/2 which was the hardest thing in my life....he had broken up with me, then after that month 1/2 he came back to me..he hasnt told me why...when i ask him if it was cos he missed me he just stays quiet..its odd...but i know that during our breakup eevrything went downhill for him..for ex. his friend who he used to go out with alot and even ditched me for..got a gf so they stopped spenign time together, then he lost his job and basically had nothing much to do besides tennis..

anyways i think i love him..but i donno if its the romantic kinda love anymore..adn this is because a while ago he told me he didnt know if he loved em anymore..and he hasnt said "i love u" since..which hurt me alot but i guess im just suppressing it now and acting like it doesnt affect me...

im 20-hes 19 and we also have different goals...

i want to become a tv host one day and studying communications studies and might transfer this and he well hes studying business s going to another school..anyways besides this we are opposites, and his family and mine would never get along together cos they are TOTALLY different, even our religions and nationalities and language..

the point is..sometimes we just think that a person is meant for us because we are so used to them. Like example is when u have a first..and when theyre ure first too..u feel so complete and comfty with them, and u honestly dont think u can ever EVER feel this way with anyone else..cos ure first time is only shared ONCE...but i guess this is the trouble that stops many people from breaking up when for real..things are just not working out...

 

i know its tough..but i think u should stick to the 2 week break and treally try to see what else is out there for u....there are many nice, fun cool girls out there..and even though i know ure heart is taken..u dont know what u can be missing by sticking to this girl..who doesnt really seem to make u that happy anymore....

 

i know its scary to let go..trust me I KNOW..and thats why i also have had such a hard time doing so...but the more u wait the worse it is, and the harder it gets...like for me...i love him..yes but sometimes i get this nautiious feeling that just doesnt feel right and i get annoyed at myself for staying in this relationship...im young and i want to experience things..yet i guess im scared to cos i dont wanna trade this relaitonship for new expereinces...but i guess its a tough choice u have to ultimately make or it will u eat u up....really EAT u up...to the point u will be in a realityonship where all u will do is fight and annoy eahcother and then have makeup sex and be fine for 3 days and then again the chain will go...its crazy...

stick with the 2 week break up..and really take advantage of it..dont just stay home and think of her cos then theres no point for the break...goodluck