LadyDanger Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Ok, so a very brief background. My ex and I had a relationship and a connection between ourselves that neither of us had experienced before- he told me in those words and I had to agree, I had always been against marriage, but this was a guy I would consider marrying in the future. He had told me he thought I was "amazing" and he was "terrified of losing me". Then 2 weeks after saying all this.... One little problem, we are both at different universities and the distance became too much for him. He said "he wanted more from a relationship that occasionally seeing someone"....and told me he thought he liked someone else at his uni. He didnt think our history (4 months) was long enough to withstand an LDR...I told him I didnt think we had tried hard enough and he agreed. I respect that LDR's are difficult, so we left each other on a positive note...but didnt speak or contact each other for 2 months. He text me, I was very aloof with him. So the following week I text him first, and his tone seemed completely different... ...he has never been the best texting back, he did this again towards the end of our "conversation via txt", he apologised for not texting back, which he NEVER did when we together- in fact he doesnt do that in general. And stated that "hopefully I will see you soon after I come back"...he is travelling until Xmas eve. Now, he could just be wanting to meet up as friends- but Im hoping otherwise. I know everyone says "give it time and you will move on"...but cliched or not this is different, we are both on the same wavelength intellectually- we have the same outlook on life and similiar aspirations just in different professions. I understand that LDR's are hard work- but I just wonder whether by him being keen to meet up whether he has reconsidered. Dont get me wrong, Im not going to allow him to pick me up and drop me whenever he wants, Im noones sloppy seconds....but there is something about this that Im not prepared to give up on just yet. So why do you think he wants to meet up after no contact for a while? And how should I broach not wanting to be just friends and the fact that neither of us thought we tried hard enough last time? Just general advice would be good Thank you!
CaliGuy Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 You can't. You can not force someone to love you. The very thing you want most (him), you will push away by pursuing him. The best way I have seen to make an ex reconsider is simply moving on with your life without them. Their feelings are out of your control. If they are to change, then they will change on their own - as long as you stay away. If you chase them in any way, shape or form they will most assuredly run AWAY from you. So in essense, if you have any chance whatsoever, your best bet is to simply go NC with them and stay out of their life. Cheers.
Author LadyDanger Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 You can't. You can not force someone to love you. The very thing you want most (him), you will push away by pursuing him. The best way I have seen to make an ex reconsider is simply moving on with your life without them. Their feelings are out of your control. If they are to change, then they will change on their own - as long as you stay away. If you chase them in any way, shape or form they will most assuredly run AWAY from you. So in essense, if you have any chance whatsoever, your best bet is to simply go NC with them and stay out of their life. Cheers. ok thanks very much for that advice- I will keep it in the forefront of my mind. That's why I didnt contact him- I almost got the impression that things moved too quickly, we fell in love too quickly...he got scared and ran away. I just want him to run back, because I know I wont find anyone like him again- and I know the old saying goes theres plenty more fish in the sea; but sometimes you just have a gut instinct that this person is special. How should I behave when we meet up- just calm, collected and cool?
CaliGuy Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Don't meet up. You need to stay away from him for a while so things cool off. If you do happen to bump into him, act like it's no big deal. Fake it till you make it. And don't ever foll yourself into thinking no one better will come along. They always do, you just have to be in the right frame of mind.
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