golfer99 Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Girl turned me down around dec 07. She kept calling me like 2 times a week. I got tired of it and quit talking to her in feb 08. We work at the same place on opposite shifts. I heard through people she had a boyfriend who was as they said very controlling. I was just like well that doesn't really surprise me. Well about the middle of november she started calling me again. One of her friends told me she was single. I answered and talked to her, she called me like 3 times in 1.5 wks. She would say things like she may stop by this weekend. I was like whatever just let me know ahead of time. She never stopped by. I don't call her. It went 2 weeks and she left a note in my box at work saying hi. Then texted me to see if I got it. She doesn't mention guys to me. only that during the summer she was hanging out with a guy that lived by her dad and she had to get gas like every 3 days. Then today she was like I'm at my dad's and then I have to go to this guys house. Probably the same guy. I know from her past it takes her a while to end relationships no matter how bad they are. So whats your opinion. I think she is just looking for attention. But some other people seem to think different and that she is waiting for me to show interest back. I have taken the approach that I will talk to her if she calls me but I am not going to chase after her again.
BikerBeagle Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Well, one easy way to find out ...show interest in her (romantic interest, not friend interest) and see how she reacts. What's the worst that could happen? ...she shoots you down again? ...big deal, it's not like you are in a better place right now. If she does shoot you down again, tell her to stop contacting you. You aren't going to get anywhere by doing nothing.
Author golfer99 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 Thanks for your thoughts. I was just looking for other peoples opinions. I am not real sure I would want a serious relationship with her. I don't know it maybe because I haven't seen her or really talked to her for like 9 months. I know last year I went through a couple of months of her flirting with me and calling me all the time. Then hearing from all her friends that I am all she talks about and I should be dating her. Yet when I bring that up I get shot down and am basically looked at like I am crazy for even thinking that way. Yet she would get jealous when I mention other girls. After that it seems to me she would need to come straight out and say if she wants something else. There are other girls to chase after who aren't going to play these games.
BCCA Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 she is into you I kind of disagree. To me, she seems to be fishing to see if you're still there if she choses. That doesnt mean that she doesnt want to see you again, but it could be little more than an ego boost/attention scheme for her. Point is, you just dont know. Honestly is always the best policy. If this continues, you might want to just come out and ask what her motivation for contacting you is. You dont have to be rude or confrontational, but maybe something like "hey its been nice talking to you again, but I was just curious what you were hoping would come out of this?" Then, BOOM you have your answers right there. Either she'll say "oh, I just miss hanging out and like talking to you" which means, she just wants a friend/FWB or something like that, or she'll say that she wants you back, etc... You really have nothing to lose, but I agree with taking a step back and letting her make the effort, if for no other reason than she is the one who broke it off with you. Me personally, I think if she wanted more than friendly conversation and to know that you dont hate her, she would have made it clear. Being ambiguous is a trait that most ex's display, because if she said she just wanted to be friends, you would probably tell her to take a hike. Wait it out, next time she contacts, ask her what the deal is, and youll have your answers right there.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I kind of disagree. To me, she seems to be fishing to see if you're still there if she choses. That doesnt mean that she doesnt want to see you again, but it could be little more than an ego boost/attention scheme for her. I vote for this answer.
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